


Roguish Women

by Jubilee44



Series: Peaky Blinders [6]
Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: 1920s, Abuse, Angst, Attempted Sexual Assault, Cabarets, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, Dancing, Emotional Manipulation, Eventual Romance, F/M, For the most part, Gangsters, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Lies, Moulin Rouge References, Period-Typical Sexism, Prostitution, Secrets, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, World War I
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2020-09-26 15:49:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 38
Words: 86,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20392210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jubilee44/pseuds/Jubilee44
Summary: Kate is an American who fled to Paris to escape her past life. Now she's dancing and playing the part of a courtesan at the Moulin Rouge. There she meets Tommy Shelby who thinks she can be useful in expanding his empire. But has he been blinded?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to Cheeky Blinders for helping me beta and working on ideas with me!

**82 Boulevard de Clichy**

**Paris, France **

**1919**

**The Moulin Rouge. **

The city of love. A city of lights and illusions. A city where one could lose sight of their troubles. A city where one could hide in plain sight.

“Monsieur Shelby!” A plump man with a red face greeted the men at the door. He was dressed in a scarlet-colored suit and Tommy couldn’t help but think how the man would stick out like a sore thumb in Birmingham. But in Paris, he fit in like he was one of the landmarks. “Bonjour, bonjour, welcome to the Moulin Rouge.”

The Peaky Blinders were there for business. Not the cabaret, but Paris. A man had contacted Tommy some time ago, asking to negotiate about importing car parts and subsequently firearms with a little bit of cocaine to sweeten the deal.

Conversations over the telephone were held until the man invited Tommy and his brothers to seal the deal in person. None of the Shelbys had been back in France since the War. It caused a knee-jerk reaction of disgust but it was a big deal that they couldn’t pass up.

Paris was nothing like the countryside they fought on. The city was electric and it was hard to believe the city had faced the same war only a few years prior.

“There is a table upstairs for you, Monsieur Dugas is waiting.” The man ushered the Blinders into the crowded venue. Tables crowded around a massive dance floor where a group of girls was putting on a show. Beautiful women wearing elaborate costumes covered in frills, gemstones, and feathers. Their outfits shimmered in the spotlights, a far cry from what would’ve been deemed appropriate only a few years ago. Shorthaired and hiking up their skirts, these girls captivated the audience, hypnotizing the men who dared glance their way. How could they look away from women dancing in such outfits?

Arthur and John were positively chuffed at the display and jostled each other as they climbed the stairs to the second level. The promenade that overlooked the dance floor was a bit tamer. Tables were set up against the railing allowing people a good view of the stage below. A bit quieter than the main floor, it was the perfect place for their meeting.

A man stood up when he saw the entourage approach. “Monsieur Shelby, thank you for joining me.”

“Mr. Dugas.” Tommy nodded politely and shook hands with the businessman.

“I trust you had a pleasant trip over from England?” The well-dressed man sat, gesturing for the rest to sit as well.

John and Arthur took a seat, leaving Finn and Isaiah to stand as guard though the younger men were distracted by the women around them.

Martin Dugas was a businessman to the core. Every drop of blood in his body was dedicated to the trade. Whether or not the things he did were legal wasn’t the issue.

A waiter arrived with an ice-cold bottle of champagne, letting Dugas inspect the label. “Gentlemen, champagne? Then we can talk business.”

A deal was settled within the hour. Although his brothers were keen to drink through the entire negotiation process, Tommy kept his wits about him. He wasn’t going to let a wild environment and French champagne cloud his judgment. But once the deal was made, the two men shook hands to confirm. Contracts would be signed the next morning.

Once the ink on the contract began to dry, Finn and Isaiah to go mingle with the entertainment. Tommy waved them off with his hand, letting them have their fun. He wasn’t interested in the women at the cabaret, he was there purely on business and wasn't going to get caught up in the lights of the club. 

“Whiskey, Tom. You can relax.” Arthur handed his brother a glass. “Got everything you want, din’t ya?”

Tommy nodded but he couldn’t help but scan the scene around them. John already had a pretty brunette perched on his lap and was flagging a waiter down for another whiskey. A woman clad in a corset and fishnets was giggling at every word Finn and Isaiah had to say, causing the men to practically drool all over her.

“Need to take a walk,” Tommy muttered. Standing up, he stubbed out his cigarette and went for the stairs. Pushing his way past a few partiers on the stairs, he made his way down to the first floor.

There were about a dozen girls on the dance floor, dancing to the live music that was loud enough to make the venue tremble. Some of the women on the dance floor were beckoning to men, luring them out to dance with them. Tommy ignored a few propositions to dance and continued towards the exit.

Tommy passed by a group of young men, most likely a stag party. They were all sloshing drunk and hollering at one of their mates who was doing his best to keep up with one of the dancers. It briefly reminded him of how he and his brothers once were. When they were younger and hadn’t been broken by the war. They often spent long nights out, getting drunk and high. Trying their best to win over the prettiest women at the bar.

Despite only walking past them, he caught a glimpse of one of the men grabbing roughly at the woman. A flash of discomfort crossed her face and she made a move away from him.

The party booed and taunted their friend. The man on the dance floor egged on, kicked out one of her heels bringing the woman to her knees in front of him.

Tommy heard her yelp of pain, a sharp contrast to the large brass section blaring away. The arrogance made something snap inside of Tommy and he wasn’t about to pretend he hadn’t seen anything.

The Blinder pushed past the stag party and out onto the dance floor. “Oi!” He barked.

The man who had grabbed a fistful of the woman’s hair, startled at his shout. A clueless look passed over his drunk, glazed eyes. He said something in French but it was lost to the music.

Tommy grabbed him by the collar and spoke two words that he assumed the man would understand. If he didn’t know the words, he’d be able to translate the tone. “Fuck off.” He spat and shoved him back towards his friends.

The stag party began to act up again, shouting some angry words in French and making steps towards Tommy. But the Blinder quickly squashed their outrage by flicking open his coat and showing them the pistol in his holster. The flash of a gun was enough to make the drunk men hastily retreat.

The young woman was trying to get up off her knees. One of her hands went to her hair, the other resting on the filthy wood floor. She watched as a pair of shoes stopped in front of her. They were expensive, shined to perfection, and waited patiently. 

The dancer looked up with tears in her eyes to see the man who saved her. Her knight in shining armor. Although he wore an expensive suit instead of armor. He had dark hair and stunningly cold blue eyes. He silently reached out a hand to her.

Shaking, she took his hand and allowed him to help her stand. “Merci.” She whispered.

“You’re welcome,” Tommy answered in English so she was aware he didn’t speak fluent French.

“You’re British?”

His forehead wrinkled in mild shock when he heard her accent. “You’re American?”

She nodded and let her hand slip from his. “Thank you. You didn’t have to do that.”

“Are you hurt?” He asked.

The dancer looked down at her heels. “I may have twisted my ankle but it’s nothing to fuss about.” She shrugged.

“Can you walk?”

She forced a smile. “Don’t need to walk. Just need to be able to dance.”

“Can you dance?”

“I have to unless I want to be fired.”

He frowned and glanced around them. “Won’t be fired while I’m here. C’mon, there a room you can sit down? Somewhere quieter? Maybe get you some ice for your ankle.” There was no room for negotiation in his tone.

Since he was a patron, she was supposed to give him what he wanted. And if he wanted her to go sit in the back room while he fetched her ice, then who was she to deny him?

“We can use one of the dressing rooms.”

After Tommy retrieved some ice from the bar, the dancer led him to the back hallway. Although the music could still be heard and felt through the walls, it was much quieter behind the scenes. There were many dressing rooms, able to hold about ten girls at a time, but there was only one that was empty. Costumes and props were scattered around cluttering the space. Women rushed around the mess trying to get ready for an upcoming act.

Tommy helped the woman onto a chair and grabbed a towel left hanging by a mirror. He poured the ice into the towel and tied it up like a sack before pulling up a chair and setting it up in front of her. “Set it up here. Need to keep it elevated ‘fore it swells.”

She obeyed quietly and let him gently place the fashioned ice pack onto her ankle. “Thank you…”

“Shelby, Tommy Shelby.”

“Thank you, Mr. Shelby. You’re much kinder than other men I’ve met.” She leaned down to remove her heels.

“Are you going to tell me your name too or are you meant to keep that secret?” He pulled out his cigarette tin and offered one to her.

“Some girls take aliases.” She admitted. “My name’s Kate though.” She let him light the cigarette.

The two sat in silence for a moment, smoking and stuck in their own heads.

“So, what’s a girl like you doing here in Paris, aye?” Tommy wondered.

“I uh…” Kate made herself busy by fussing with the ice on her ankle and fixing her hair. “My father had debts and they were after my family. So I came here to get away from that life I was just a dancer at home. A ballet dancer.” Her green eyes lit up with joy when she mentioned her passion. The love she had to leave behind. Still, the joy was short-lived. “But I wasn’t making any money so I came here. They pay better and well…dreams aren’t meant to pay the bills, are they?”

“Are you not just a dancer here?”

She laughed bitterly, the joy instantly leaving her eyes and leaving behind a residue of bitter disappointment. “We aren’t dressed like this for fun, Mr. Shelby.”

He nodded in understanding. “They made you a whore.”

“I prefer the term courtesan but I suppose it’s no improvement.” Kate sighed and tilted forward. Twisting an arm back she tried to loosen the laces of her corset so she could breathe a little easier. “So, Mr. Shelby, if you’re British then what are you doing here?”

“Business.” He replied. “Ordinary business.”

Kate studied his appearance. The man clearly had wealth. He wore a three-piece suit that looked either nicely tailored or custom made. But there was something about the look in his eyes that gave off an air of danger. It was unlike Kate had ever seen in the eyes of a wealthy man. It was evident that he wasn’t someone who inherited his money or struck it rich by chance. He’d worked hard and it had paid off. It was still too early to tell how he’d acquired his wealth. “I meet a lot of businessmen in my line of work.”

“I can imagine.” Tommy was sure that hole-in-the-wall brothels were much cheaper than the cabaret. “How about politicians?”

She let out a nervous laugh and shrugged. “I’m not supposed to say. They expect confidentiality.”

A glint of mischief formed in his blue eyes. The spark of youth that diminished the dark circles under his eyes. “Royalty?”

“If you must know, there was a prince. But that’s all I’m able to say!”

He chuckled and took another drag of his cigarette. “How long d’you think it’ll be before things die down with your family in America?” He wondered.

Kate’s face fell. “I don’t know. My father didn’t tell me how much he owes. 'Sides I doubt he'll ever be able to pay it off.”

Tommy had often been on the debtor’s end of things. Bars and businesses that were well behind what they owed to the Shelby Company. When it warranted a visit, he sent his brothers or sometimes went himself. If violence was necessary, then they could be violent. It didn’t bother them much.

In a moment of weakness, Kate unleashed some pent up frustration. “I’m just sick of being here. I make more than I did at home but I’m still barely getting by. The city is so expensive. I feel like I ought to be living in a penthouse for the amount I’m paying for rent. And I can’t ask for help from anyone. I don’t have any family or friends here. They’re so awful to me here, call me stupid an-and worthless. I’m just so alone and I…” Her eyes met Tommy and she realized she was venting to a complete stranger. “I’m so sorry.” She snapped back into the calm demeanor she was meant to have in front of patrons. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

It occurred to Tommy that he most definitely caused people to flee their homes. Whether it be because of their own mistakes or those of their family member’s, it didn’t matter. The Peaky Blinders had a violent reputation and it was enough to send people running for safety. Safety, but perhaps a worse off situation than before. Hearing Kate air her grievances made him step back and think about the people he’d displaced. “Will you return to America?” His voice quieted as if muted by the thoughts overwhelming his brain.

“I’m not sure.” Kate tried not to think about the future. It did her no good to hope for something that might be so far away. “I’d like to return to a ballet company if I’m able to.”

Tommy’s fingers tapped nervously at his knee. He was getting the urge to do something that was a little unorthodox even by his own standards. Guilt stirred up in his stomach as he thought about the families he might’ve separated in the past. “I may have connections in America. If I were to pay off your father’s debt, I could find you a place there.”

Kate’s eyes widened. “Mr. Shelby that is…” What could the man possibly want in exchange? She couldn’t even imagine what he would proposition next. “I’m not sure what you’d like in return but I…I don’t know if…”

“Nothing in return.” He promised coolly. “Consider it a favor to pay forward in the future.” He gestured with his cigarette.

Every bit of her body wanted to launch forward and seize the opportunity. But it seemed too good to be true. And she knew she couldn’t return to America. “I appreciate that, Mr. Shelby. But I’m afraid I won’t be able to go back to my home for quite some time. I’ve burned too many bridges and have too many enemies.”

It was suspicious that a beautiful woman would possibly have one enemy let alone multiple ones. “What sort of enemies?”

She peered at him with reservation. “Enemies of my father. Why do you ask?” When he simply shrugged, she began to pick up on his game. “You’re not just a normal businessman are you?”

His facial expression didn’t flinch at all. “I assure you I meet the definition of a businessman.”

His blunt response made her laugh. “I’ve met my share of gangsters, Mr. Shelby, you can’t fool me.”

The corner of his lips turned up ever so slightly. “What sort of enemies, Kate?”

She adjusted the ice on her ankle and tugged her knees closer to her chest. “Hand me that coat?” She requested instead of answering.

Tommy glanced over his shoulder to where she was pointing. There was a rack of clothing that was waiting to be adorned for the enjoyment of men. Glitter outfits trimmed with fringe that went longer than the skirt hemlines. Elaborate garments with intricate beading and laced with feathers. A careful design that would be lost in the bright lights and under the stares of leering men. Tossed over the rack was a deep navy blue coat with gray fur lining the collar. He handed it over to her, watching as she draped it over her fishnet-covered legs.

Kate finished her cigarette and instantly reached for another one. She needed to relax and the conversation they were having didn’t help. She held out the fresh cigarette for Tommy to light.

He obliged, still awaiting her response.

But she kept him in suspense, taking a few drags. The proper façade of a showgirl. “I’m sure you’re familiar with the Italians in Chicago.” She leaned an elbow on the back of her chair, reclining slightly like a centerfold flapper dream. Smoke curling around her bobbed blonde hair. Her eyes framed with kohl and lips painted a dark red.

“I am.” He answered.

“And the Irish in Boston.”

Again, Tommy nodded.

“Let’s just say I’ve had my run ins with them both.”

“Enemies of your father.”

“Correct. They like to use family members against you.” She smiled bitterly and shrugged.

Tommy studied her face but she wasn’t letting much on. There was something unsettling about her backstory but who was he to question it? If anything, a possible informant could be useful if she knew more than she was letting on. “Anything damning you might know?” 

She laughed and wagged a finger at him. “Are you trying to loosen my lips, Mr. Shelby?”

He didn’t smile but instead nodded. “You don’t want to be here.” He waved a hand around the dressing room. “You know you deserve more respect than what you get here. If you’ve got information I can use, I’ll compensate you well.”

Kate tilted forward as if her interest was piqued and narrowed her eyes. “What sort of compensation?”

“You name the price.”

There was a slight break in her calm demeanor. A tell of vulnerability. The prospect of leaving Paris with a substantial sum of money in her pocket was alluring. She wouldn’t have to spend each and every night trying to attract attention. Try to pretend she was in love with strangers just so they would pay her more. She chewed on her lip for a moment. There was a chance the information she gave would be traced back to her. The information Tommy wanted could possibly uproot her secrets so she needed to be cautious. A misstep could cause her the life she built in France to come tumbling down in an instant. “I know some names.”

“Names aren’t good enough.”

Kate wrung her hands together. To the average onlooker, it might appear that she was nervous about giving information because it could threaten her safety. Instead, she was nervous because she was lying about who she even was. “I know bootleggers. People my father pissed off.”

If Tommy had been careful enough, he would question how the woman knew so much or who her father was. But he was drunk. Drunk on the possibility of information he could use to build his empire. Perhaps get more gin smuggled in. Buy more property. Expand the company worldwide. He pointed his cigarette at her, his lips turning up in a smile. “Now you’re talking.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I just wanted to clear a few things up that might be confusing. Initially this fic was meant to be set later in the series but I ended but changing my mind a few chapters in. Therefore, Finn is aged up because of the error.


	2. Chapter 2

Tommy helped Kate out of her fur coat upon entering the hotel suite. The luxury of the ornate room wasn’t new to her. She had spent plenty of time in lavish rooms being spoiled by expensive food, fine wines, and Egyptian cotton. The black, white, and gold embellishments of the Art Deco style was familiar to her. She was used to the light of glittering chandeliers and passing by her reflection in the many mirrored surfaces. 

Although the expensive decor wasn’t any comfort to Kate. Not when she had to fake affection and love. In fact, the atmosphere of hotels had begun to make her nauseous. She knew what was awaiting her. 

But it still wasn’t exactly clear if those were Tommy’s same intentions. He had expressed interest in what she knew but not her services. Still, he was a man. A man who had become accustomed to the finer things in life and that no doubt included expensive courtesans. 

Kate had changed out of her stage costume before departing with Tommy. She left under the guise that he was an expensive client who wanted to take her somewhere a little more intimate. To complete the appearance, she left in a seductive jade colored dress. The one made of silk that left little to the imagination and had a scandalous open back. 

Tommy noticed this very quickly as she walked over to the sofa. The silk shifted with every movement, clinging to her body and revealing the curve of her hips. He cleared his throat and hung her coat up on the rack by the door. He was careful to maintain his appearance of business by leaving everything on but his coat. This wasn’t a situation to be comfortable with. He still knew very little about this woman. 

“Drink?” Tommy asked while moving to the liquor cart by the large windows. He looked down on the lights of Paris still sparkling in the night. 

“Do you have wine?” Kate settled on the plush sofa, grateful to be off of her sore ankle. She reached down to take off her heels and inspect the area. Luckily there didn’t appear to be much swelling. 

“Merlot.” He answered after inspecting the lone wine bottle among the liquor. 

She made a face. “I prefer Chardonnay. Don’t particularly like red. I’ll just have gin.” 

Tommy poured her a glass of gin and whiskey for himself. He walked over with the glasses and set them down on the table by the sofa. He took a seat across from her so they could talk. 

“Do you have someone back in England, Mr. Shelby?” Kate wondered. It seemed unfathomable that a handsome and wealthy man like himself wasn’t married. But perhaps he’d simply taken off his wedding band while he was in the Moulin Rouge. Some men did that, some didn’t seem to care and left them on. Kate wasn’t sure which was a worse sin. 

Tommy’s mind went to the blonde barmaid he left behind in Birmingham. Grace had captured his attention but it had been a long while since he’d allowed himself to succumb to love. He hadn’t opened his heart up since he lost Greta. But he was getting dangerously close to that territory with Grace. “I’m not married.” 

“Hm.” Kate didn’t remark on his answer. But it led her to believe there _ was _ someone. It was anyone’s guess why he was keeping it a secret. 

“Tell me what you know about the Americans.” Tommy redirected the conversation. 

She took a drink of the gin and grimaced at the taste. “I don’t understand why Europeans like their gin so bitter.” 

He crossed his arms over his chest and stared at her. For a moment, he doubted his decision to bring her back to the hotel. She could’ve been reading his reactions and telling him what he wanted to know. Could this all be a ruse to get something out of him? Blackmail? Maybe she wanted a free ride to England or even back to America. What if she didn’t know anything? 

Kate raised an eyebrow at his expression of displeasure. “Are you always so serious, Mr. Shelby?” She asked. 

“I asked you a question.” 

“And I asked you a different one.” 

Tommy’s jaw tightened. “I’m not here to play games. Either you know something or you’re wasting my time.” 

Kate looked slightly amused despite his intense tone. “I grew up in South Boston. They call us Southies. There’s a group there that runs all of the bootlegging operations.” 

“The Gustin Gang.” Tommy nodded as this wasn’t news to him. “I’m aware. I’ve done my share of research.” It was necessary to do such investigations if he was really going to expand overseas. 

“Then you’ll know that they’re weak. Easy to take over if you’re strong enough.” Kate leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. “But if you’re so smart, Mr. Shelby, then you won’t need my assistance.” 

He balked a little. Yes, he knew about most of the active gangs that controlled the smuggling operations on the east coast as well as Chicago and Detroit. But he didn’t have enough intel to know how they operated or what their weaknesses and strengths were. “I brought you here to give me information.” He replied without explicitly saying that he needed her help. Admitting that would only give her power. 

“There are Italians in the North End, lots of them. It doesn’t matter what city you’re in, Boston, New York, Chicago, the Irish hate the Italians and vice versa. Neither of them like to share control. They’re looking for allies, strong allies.”

Tommy considered what she was saying. It was much like London, various gangs all pushing and shoving each other for a larger piece of the pie. Would the Americans find a relationship mutually beneficial? Could he even trust them? Could he trust that Kate wasn’t looking out for her own interests? 

“That’s very vague.” He responded. 

Her confident demeanor wavered a little. “Well, more in-depth information could get me in trouble. I don’t want to risk that for a man I don’t know very well.” 

So they were at a stalemate. Both of them standing with their backs against the wall so neither of them could stab the other when they weren’t paying attention. 

“You were in the war,” Kate concluded. 

He eyed her for a moment before nodded. “Yes.” 

“Where?” 

“Here. Northern France.” The break in the conversation gave Tommy a chance to find his cigarettes and light one. 

Kate watched him. Each movement deliberate and firm. He was a man who hid his weaknesses well. But that didn’t mean he didn’t have any. All men had a weakness. So did women. “You must hate America for coming so late.” 

His blue eyes didn’t meet hers as he lit the cigarette. “There were many people to blame. I’ve got more important things to deal with now.”

Little did he know, the woman in front of him had been through trauma. No, she hadn’t been in an active battlefield but she’d fought her own personal wars. Came across enemies who were ruthless. Suffered enough to warrant building up her defenses. 

Tommy decided to throw her an incentive. He wasn’t there to talk about the war. “You want to get out of here. If you can’t go back to America would you want to come to England.” 

Although she perked up, Kate was suspicious about his intentions. She hadn’t given him enough information to warrant a reward. He’d been vague about his relationship status. Maybe he wanted to bring her along as some sort of toy. “I don’t want to be a whore.” She replied. “Not here, not in America, and not in England. 

“What else are you good at?” Tommy replied callously even though he didn’t intend to come off so harsh.

She scoffed, her eyes widening in disbelief. “You mean what am I good at beside fucking men?” Her voice was incredulous. 

“I didn’t-”

“I’m not an object, Mr. Shelby, I have plenty of redeeming qualities. Or do you have your head so far up your own ass that you can’t see that?” She demanded. 

He subtly rolled his eyes. The woman was testing his patience. “Are you using me?” 

“Are you using _ me? _” She retorted.

Another stalemate. Neither of them looked away or softened their glare. It was as if the world had never seen such a dramatic clash of personalities. A mysterious woman who held valuable information, although it was questionable how she acquired it. And a man who wanted nothing more than to rule an empire but had severely lost his trust for others. 

Kate decided to break the tense silence. “Mr. Shelby, you must understand that I fled America for a reason. I’m not looking to stir up the pot again and have them out for blood. They have no issue sending men to come and find me. If I give you information that can be traced back to me, then I have a problem.”

Tommy prided himself on being a good judge of character. He rarely trusted anyone that was outside of his immediate family. It was easy for him to pick up on tells that someone was lying. And he saw the hint of fear hidden behind Kate’s slate-colored eyes. He cleared his throat and stood up to pour himself another whiskey. “Say I were to trust you. You gave me the information I want and in exchange, you come to Birmingham with me. I can give you work at my company. Legitimate work.” He clarified before she argued with him again. “If your information checks out and is valuable, you’ll be compensated. And if there’s a threat on your life, you’ll be under the Peaky Blinders’ protection.” 

Kate fidgeted and was a little uneasy with the proposition. But it was the only lifeline she had to get out of Paris. She had men promising her large sums of money before. Enough cash to leave the Moulin Rouge and find a life of her own. But they were hollow promises that were never kept. They promised to bring her home and provide her with everything. But what was expected from her in return made her sick. 

Tommy could be holding out. Maybe he would break his promise once he got what he wanted. Maybe he would bring her to Birmingham and still treat her like a whore. Still, the walls were closing in on Kate. She didn’t have another option. It was a calculated risk, but it was a risk for Tommy as well. Maybe that was why she stood up and reached out to shake his hand. Sealing the deal. 


	3. Chapter 3

Tommy was quite the picture sitting outside of a cafe. Sat at the small table, he was enjoying the Parisian sunlight while nursing an espresso and smoking. He stretched out his legs a bit to keep comfortable. Activity bustled around him, men in fine suits, women dressed in the highest fashion, and mothers lugging along crying children. The romantic allure of the French language enveloped him and strangely eased his tension.

Tommy assumed that coming to France would only trigger negative memories from the War. The rapid-fire foreign tongue that mixed with English in the trenches. The scent of their cigars. But the city was different enough to make him forget. Well, at least push the thought aside for a moment. He could never forget. 

A bright lilac covered cloche hat caught his attention. Tommy didn’t know whether the peacock feather stuck in the hat’s band was real or not but it certainly looked the part. Tightly wound blonde curls peeked out from underneath the short brim of the hat. 

Her blue eyes found his before he saw her hat. Kate walked towards him, maneuvering through the passing crowd. “Mr. Shelby,” She greeted and plopped herself down at the cafe table across from him. 

“You can call me Tommy.” He replied. 

I pegged you for more of a formal man.” Kate dug into her black purse for her compact mirror and lipstick.” 

Tommy watched her pull out the mirror, a small disk embellished with emerald stones. Most likely they were fake, and some were missing from the circular pattern. Her lipstick was a dark red. She flipped open the compact mirror and began to apply it. He saw her eyes poking up above the edge of the silver-plated mirror. That’s when he noticed the shadow under her right eye and the knot on her forehead. Injuries that certainly hadn’t been there when they’d spoken the night before. 

That morning, they had met in the lobby of the hotel the Peaky Blinders were staying in. Kate informed Tommy that she would be going to the Moulin Rouge to speak with her employer. He offered to go along with her but was turned down. Kate didn’t trust the British man yet. There was no need for him to be involved with her resignation. Mostly because she knew it would be ugly. Her boss, not the owner of the club but the manager, had a strong temper and often lashed out at the women. Especially women who were trying to escape their lives of night entertainers. 

“Who did that to you?” Tommy kept his tone even. He didn’t want to make it a spectacle of pointing out her injuries, lest she clammed up and denied anything happened.

Her eyes flicked over the rim of the mirror to look at him. “Do you care?” The hand applying her lipstick paused, her lips parted slightly. 

“Yes.” 

Kate sighed and finished touching up her makeup. With a snap, she closed the mirror and shoved it back into her purse along with the tube of lipstick. “Some people don’t like to take no for an answer.” 

The cryptic answer didn’t satisfy Tommy. “Who did it?” He repeated firmly. 

A bitter smile crossed her face. “What? Are you going to act the knight in shining armor for me?” She accused. “Rest assured, Mr.-Tommy, I’ve met my fair share of men who had no issue roughing up a woman. They call it equality.” 

Tommy frowned. “That’s not how I operate.” 

The dark conversation about abusers appeared to amuse Kate in a twisted way. Perhaps she had become so accustomed to the brutal nature of some that she expected it. It simply became a way of life. Either she fought back, which was appropriate in some cases, or she expertly covered up the marks with powder the next morning. She didn’t fight everyone who aggressed against her. She chose her battles wisely. 

“How do you Brummies operate then?” She inquired. 

“If someone lays a hand on you then they lose their hand,” Tommy replied bluntly. “That’s what being under the protection of the Peaky Blinders entails.” 

“Why’d you call yourselves that?” She dismissed his explanation of his policy regarding abusers. 

He raised an eyebrow but reached up to slip off his flat cap, passing it over to Kate. “Razor blades sewn into the brim.” 

Kate examined the gray cap and gently pushed back the seam to see the blades hidden. She lightly pressed her thumb against the sharp edge, making an indent across her fingerprint. “Huh, so you blind people.” 

“When it’s necessary.” Tommy took the cap back from her and placed it back on his head. 

“So, what work do you have for me?” She folded her hands on the table, leaning slightly forward to address him. 

“It’ll all be explained once we get to Birmingham.” He answered and reached into his pocket to pull out a few coins for the coffee. “Until then, you should start compiling all the information you’re going to give me. I’d rather not leave a paper trail but if you must write things down to remember, then you may.” 

“How gracious of you.” 

He continued talking, skipping over her snarky remark. “Until then, I’ll have you meet me brothers and a few of my men who are here. For now, you’re simply my new hire. They won’t need to know you’re an informant.” 

“You keep secrets from your family often, Tommy?” Kate tilted her head to the side with a simpering glance. “That doesn’t make for good business.” 

Again, Tommy chose to disregard what she said. “I’ve already bought you a ticket for the ship. We’re leaving tomorrow morning at eight.” 

Kate waved over the waiter and ordered a coffee in French. She crossed her legs and picked up Tommy’s silver tin of cigarettes without asking. He didn’t stop her, instead just pulling out his lighter and offering it to her. After a few drags, she smiled coyly. “You must be excited to return to your sweetheart back home.” 

Tommy knew that he’d left his relationship status vague. He’d done so intentionally. “I don’t have anyone back home.” 

“I think you do.” 

“Is that so?” 

Her smile grew a little as he teased her. It was as if he _wanted _her to show off her intelligence, to prove herself. “You have a past; anyone can see that in your eyes. I also know you’ve had your fair share of whores. So, when you’re alone in a hotel suite with one of Paris’s finest and you don’t try anything, it usually means you’re holding out for someone. It’s honorable.” She shrugged. “Not many men have your...restraint.” 

He frowned. This wasn’t the conversation he was looking to have. But he figured it wouldn’t bode well if he arrived from Paris with a woman in tow. Grace would surely have a few questions. “You’ll meet her once you’re in Birmingham. She works at the bar I own.” 

“What’s her name?” 

“Did your boss do that to you because you said you were going to leave?” 

Kate smiled. It was fairly entertaining to her, the mental games that Tommy seemed to play in conversations. The man clearly liked control even when simply talking to another person. “So, what if he did?” 

Tommy pondered the idea. Would he be willing to risk getting revenge for a woman he hardly knew? Would he let a man who worked with vulnerable women get away with hurting them? It seemed like a good job for Isaiah and Finn. Get their feet wet a little bit. “Then he’s a bad man.” 

“Were you like this before the war?” 

“Like what?” 

His composure fascinated Kate. At the Moulin Rouge, men didn’t like when the women asked questions. There were several reasons. He was a high profile man who was risking a lot to have a little fun at the club. He felt talking interrupted the show. Or he simply didn’t see women as humans. Sometimes it was all of the above. But Tommy didn’t seem to mind the questions, even if he never answered them. 

“Like you want to make sure every bad man pays for his sins.” 

He exhaled a stiff snort of laughter and let his eyes wander out to the street. “I think I know how you came by all this information you claim to have.” 

Her lips quirked up into a smile. “Oh?” 

“You don’t drop an issue.” 

Kate grinned. She thanked the waiter who came over with her order. “_Merci, I am on his tab, and make sure he leaves you a generous tip.” _

“Tom, of all the bad fucking ideas-” 

Tommy waved a hand at the liquor cart. “Take what you’d like and sit down, brother.” 

Arthur grimaced but did pour himself a drink before going to sit where Kate had been the night before. After a hearty swig, he held his hands up as if waiting for Tommy to hand over the explanation. The explanation of why suddenly a French whore was joining them on their return journey to Birmingham. 

“She’s got information about the Americans. Things we can use against them once we expand overseas.” 

“Expand overseas...hang on when did we discuss this?” The eldest Shelby demanded. 

“I’ve been playing with the idea. We’ve got the ability and we shouldn’t limit ourselves to Birmingham or London. Shouldn’t fucking limit ourselves to the continent.” 

Arthur frowned and finished his drink. “Think you’re biting off more than you can chew, mate. We’ve just done a deal here, why can’t we fucking focus on what we’ve got in Birmingham for the time being?” 

“You can focus on Birmingham, but she’s going to give us good information. I’m not saying we’re going to make a move on America tomorrow. It’ll take time.” 

There was obviously no point in trying to talk Tommy out of his decision. “Right, so what is she gonna do? Just sit ‘round your office talking? How’d you know we can trust her?” 

“We can’t.” Tommy admitted coolly. “But I’ve offered her a job in the company. One that’ll test her loyalty.” 

“So you’re risking our family and company because she might have some information on people we ain’t even fucking fighting with yet?” Arthur was appalled at the idea. 

Tommy leaned over the back of a chair with a glint in his eyes. “_Yet_. Arthur, yet.” He smiled slightly. “But when we do start fighting, we’ll be ten steps ahead of them. They won’t know what fucking hit them.” 

The desire for power in his brother’s eyes wasn’t unfamiliar, at least not in recent months. It seemed more than ever Tommy was itching for any opportunity to grasp more power. And it was far too late to try and cool him down. “You’re a fucking madman, Tom.” 

“And yet you keep following me into battle.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for sort of a dry chapter but I promise it'll pick up once they're back in Birmingham


	4. Chapter 4

“Have you heard of the Latin Quarter in Paris?” Her voice arrived before she did, her body trailing after her American accent. 

Tommy glanced over his shoulder to see her approaching. He was out on the deck of the ship that was taking them back to London. It was late, the trip was supposed to go overnight so most passengers were sleeping. But Tommy needed to clear his head and have a smoke out in the salty air. 

“I haven’t.” 

Kate came to stand at the railing beside him. She peered down at the dark churning water below as the ship steamed through the waves. “It’s the home of the Bohemians. Artists and rebels of the like.” 

The word was familiar to Tommy. Sometimes it was passed around to describe gypsies although it was more of a loose term. He never considered himself one. Bohemians were wild as far as he knew. He made a sound of interest but didn’t think the Parisians had any importance to him. 

“I lived in the Quarter when I first came from America. They believe in four things.” Kate turned and leaned her back against the metal railing. She wore her thick coat to ward off the harsh sea winds. “Freedom, beauty, truth, and love.” 

Tommy scoffed. The list sounded flowery and too optimistic. None of those had any bearing in the real world. 

She raised an eyebrow. “You don’t agree?” 

“I didn’t get to where I am today because of love or truth or...whatever else you said.” 

Kate stuck out her lower lip, appearing to ponder his response. “I never said I agreed with them.” 

“You’re looking to find out what I believe in. Try to see what sort of man I am.” Even as he addressed her, his blue eyes looked out over the moonlit-horizon. Watching the gray clouds drift over the English Channel. 

“You don’t let much on so a girl has to be more direct.” She shrugged and sighed. “I’ll take that as you’re going to keep those things to yourself. I just thought you might want some company out here in the cold.” 

“I like to be on my own.” 

Despite the moody response, Kate snorted a laugh. “Yeah, I think I’ve caught onto that by now. Then I’ll go back to my cabin.” She pushed away from the railing and began to walk across the deck. 

“Kate.” Tommy called after her and waved her back over. As she walked back, he reached into his coat and pulled out a flask to hand her. 

“What’s this?” She unscrewed the cap and took a tiny sip. 

“To help with the cold.” He replied. 

A smile tugged at her lips. “You want me to stay?” 

“What do you believe in?” Tommy didn’t completely confess that he wanted her to stay. 

She took a triumphant swig from the flask before handing it back to him. “I believe in the things I see in front of me. Whether they be beautiful or ugly. My mother was killed by an enemy of my father’s. But I didn’t believe the news until I saw her body being dragged out of the Charles River.”

Tommy would give his condolences but he was sure she had heard it all before. They all had. ‘I’m sorry for your loss’ didn’t mean anything to him anymore. They were just words. “What about what people say?” 

“Well, you can see it in someone’s eyes, can’t you? Whether they’re telling you the truth or not.” 

“Sometimes.” 

“Then it’s a visual thing.” 

Tommy took a drink and offered the flask to her again but she shook her head. “You trust people then?” 

“Not at first, if ever.” Kate drummed her fingers against the railing. The black paint chipping away. 

“That’s wise. You can only trust family, blood, your kin.” He tucked the flask into the inside of his overcoat. 

“I don’t have that luxury,” She let her eyes wander to the moonbeams reflecting off crests of the waves. The frigid wind stinging her cheeks and turning them red. “I lost that a long time ago.” 

Tommy realized that she was referring to her father. The man that had landed her an ocean away from her home. “What else did you learn from these Bohemians?” He diverted the conversation to something a little lighter. Perhaps that would help her open up, give her a reason to trust him in the future. 

She smiled. “There was a boy, a very strange enchanted boy. A little shy and sad of eye, but very wise was he. One magic day, he passed my way. While we spoke of many things, fools and kings, this he said to me-”

“The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.” Tommy completed the words. Words of a bewitching song the Lees and Youngs used to sing. He could hear the echo of their pure voices carrying over the meadows and weaving through the trees. They sung it in Shelta, Rocka, and English. Sometimes, Tommy heard the tune in his dreams accompanied by a hazy wood. Despite it being rooted in his childhood, the forlorn song always gave him a melancholy feeling. Hearing Kate speak the words brought back that feeling tenfold. 

“You know it?” 

“Gypsy clans we used to travel with sang it.” He replied quietly. “I never understood it.” 

Kate tilted her head to the side. “I think it’s a very clear message.” 

Tommy shook his head and flicked his cigarette into the ocean below. “Love doesn’t work like that.” He put his hands in his pockets and stalked off towards the stairs. The rest of the night, the song played over and over in his head.

“Polly’s gonna have a fit,” Arthur muttered to his brother. They were on their way to Watery Lane, their new addition to the company in tow. 

Kate observed the way the Brummies interacted with Tommy and his brothers. Men tipped their caps and bid the Shelbys a good morning. Women smiled at them, wishing them well and urging their children along. Some were too scared to even look the men in the eye, keeping their heads down and quickly walking past to avoid confrontation. Kate had seen the effect before. Tommy and his company had a reputation that maintained itself for the most part. She could imagine that in due time, the need for violence would decrease. Folks around Birmingham would have enough sense to stay out of the Shelbys way. Of course, there would always be outsiders or those who thought they were strong enough to dethrone Tommy. 

It was a fairly rigid cycle. One man grew so powerful that it appeared he could never be overthrown. But all it took was the right person and the right time to make him fall to his knees. Kate wondered how far Tommy would actually get. 

“Polly doesn’t need to know where we picked her up from,” Tommy replied quietly so Kate, who was a few paces behind them wouldn’t hear. “She’s an American who was seeking a job who happens to speak a few more languages than we do. But lucky for us, she doesn’t speak our language. Works for everyone, aye?” 

Arthur grimaced but knew that Tommy wasn’t going to be talked out of his choice. The minute they left France with the girl there was no turning back. 

“Kate, I want you to come meet me aunt. Polly is the treasurer of the Shelby Company." Tommy placed a hand on the woman’s shoulder and walked her into the betting shop. 

“Bookmaking?” Kate surveyed the scene. “Are you good at it?” 

“Good at bookmaking or good at making money?” Tommy brought her over to one of the office doors, letting his hand slip from her shoulder. "Because those are two very different things." 

“Hm, I guess I’ll find out.” 

Tommy chuckled and knocked on the door. “Pol, want you to come meet someone.” 

The older woman came out and frowned when she saw the young blonde standing beside her nephew. “Another one?” 

Kate looked a bit amused but Tommy simply rolled his eyes. “This is the newest member of our staff, Kate. Kate, this is Polly.” 

“Really?” Polly scoffed out a sarcastic laugh. “And when was this consulted with the board?” She questioned with a hand on her hip. 

Tommy cleared his throat. “Pol, could I speak with you for a moment?” He decided it would be better to be honest with his aunt. They could gloss over the details about finding Kate at the Moulin Rouge. Still, Polly deserved to hear about the potential information about the Americans. That way there would be no surprises. “Kate, if you would stay here.” 

The woman nodded and the two disappeared into Polly’s office for a chat. Kate took another look around, not focusing on anything too revealing. For now, the less she knew the better. Learning secrets was such a dangerous game. It was always possible to know too much. And knowing too much put a bright red target on your forehead.

“Oi, love!” 

As Kate walked past a barred window, she heard someone whistle to her. Pausing, she glanced over to see a skeevy looking man outside of the window, pushing something through the slot below the bars. “Excuse me?” She didn’t take the greeting very kindly. 

“I said, c’mere.” The older man waved her over, his fingers were dusted with coal clearly pointing towards line of work. Kate was sure that the Shelbys relied on men like him. Poor men barely scraping by and hoping to get rich off a beast with four legs. 

“What do you want?” Kate didn’t budge. 

“What’s it fucking look like? Here to make a bet.” 

Her jaw set. “I don’t work here. I think it should be obvious enough by my accent.” She replied and went to turn away. 

“Fucking cunt.” The two words were probably meant to be quieter than they came out. The man was a coward but he made the mistake of letting Kate hear those words. 

Frowning, she turned and stalked towards the door. “I don’t know who raised you, but that’s very disrespectful.”

“Women were meant to obey, love.” The man tried to save face amongst the other men queuing up behind him. “Maybe next time you do what you’re told and no one’ll call you that.” 

Furious, Kate reached into her purse and slammed a small handgun onto the counter between them. “I doubt you would say that to me again.” 

The man’s eyes widened and he took a step away from the window dividing them. “Fucking Shelbys…” He muttered and turned to make a hasty retreat. 

Only moments later, Tommy came out of Polly’s office and found Kate standing in front of the window, tucking a gun away. “You scaring away customers?” He rushed over and grabbed her by the upper arm. 

“Let go of me!” She snapped a reply and shoved the gun towards him. “It’s empty anyways, you can check. I was only making a point.” 

Tommy checked the barrel to confirm there were no bullets. He sighed and handed it back to her. “C’mon, Polly wants to talk to the both of us now.” 


	5. Chapter 5

Kate loved Polly’s black cigarettes. In fact, she loved a lot about the older woman from the moment she sat down across the desk from her. It was obvious from the onset that she was a woman who accepted no bullshit even from her own family. She was clever and Kate presumed that her intelligence was tested. After all, they were women. They weren’t meant to be smart. They were just supposed to look pretty. 

Polly eyed the young blonde that was apparently the newest member of the company. “So where are you from?” She asked. 

“Boston originally,” Kate answered frankly. “I met Tommy in France.” 

“Mhm. What were you doing in France?” 

“I was a courtesan.” She replied with all honesty. There was no reason to beat around the bush. A smart woman like Polly would find out eventually so what was the use in lying? 

Tommy, however, didn’t seem too pleased that she’d dropped the news that he was planning on keeping from his aunt. “Yep…” He muttered under his breath. 

“So you were a whore?” 

“Yes, ma’am.” 

Polly laughed and shook her head in disbelief. “Well she’s honest, Tom, I’ll give you that.” 

Kate smiled slightly and shrugged. “I’ve nothing to hide.” 

She did. 

“And I’m aware that Tommy says you’ve information about Americans. Information that he wants to use for the company.” Polly had been wise to warn her nephew that he was playing with fire. There were plenty of well-established gangs in America who were powerful enough to end his career in seconds. It was too early to test his luck with them. But Tommy was adamant that they needed to learn information while they could. That way, once he was powerful enough, he could make his move. 

“I think it could be information very useful to your company. I’m not looking for much compensation, only protection from those who would wish me harm.” Kate explained candidly. 

“You have a lot of enemies?” 

“Enemies of my father.” She clarified. 

Tommy cleared his throat and stepped back into the conversation. “Pol, she knows enough French and Italian to help us with day to day things.” He tried to make the woman a more appealing worker. 

“So what happens if she double-crosses us?” Polly asked bluntly. 

“Then I’m at the mercy of my father’s enemies. You can hand me over, no questions asked.” Kate vowed with steady eye contact. 

Polly looked mildly amused but didn’t seem to dislike the woman. “Alright, but you’ll be watched.” 

“As is expected.” 

Tommy was a bit surprised that the meeting went as well as it did. Perhaps it was a sign that things were meant to be. He’d have his American informant and things would go smoothly. 

“I’ve rented a flat for you down this way. Take the week to get settled. Try and write down any contacts you can in as much detail as you remember.” Tommy explained as they walked down the street together. He handed her a key to the apartment. 

“Okay, thank you.” Kate was surprised he’d already put things together. “I can imagine that you’ll have my calls listened to.” She pocketed the key. 

He chuckled. Her wit was starting to become endearing if anything. “Do you have private calls to make?” 

“Well I don’t have a family left and all my friends were whores of the Moulin Rouge so I’m guessing not.” She smirked. “I’ve no secrets, Mr. Shelby.” 

“That remains to be seen.” Everyone had secrets, it was doubtful Kate was an exception to the rule. 

“Anything?” Tommy returned to the betting shop after showing Kate to her apartment. 

John was sat at his brother’s desk, feet kicked up. “Well, just a few things.” He handed over a few pages of notes. 

Tommy took them and smacked his younger brother’s feet off his desk. “Go check Finn’s odds. He’s got his head in the clouds, fucked up at least twice today.” He pointed to the door. 

“Well, he’s thick, that makes sense.” John snorted and went to leave. 

“You’re both thick. Close the door behind you!” Tommy yelled after him before sifting through the notes scrawled out in John’s chicken scratch. 

_American birth certificate. _

_ Ballet companies in Boston, New York, and Chicago. Said she studied in Italy. _

_ Unsure of father or mother’s names. No known siblings. _

Tommy sighed. It wasn’t much to go on. If he could somehow find her birth certificate, that would give him her father’s name to go off of. Then, he could find connections in America. There was a lot of ground to search and he wanted to make sure all his bases were covered before he put trust in this woman. 

Kate usually knew where to find the hub of a city. Small Heath was, well, small enough that she found the Garrison fairly quickly. The night was in full swing and she dressed in one of her simpler dresses just so she didn’t stand out. But strangers always stood out in the tight-knit neighborhood. 

Upon walking in, Kate was being eyed by anyone she passed. She ignored them and headed for the bar. 

The man tending the bar gave her a funny look. “Erm, ma’am, have you got an escort?” 

“No, I’m on my own. I’ll have a gin and tonic.” 

“I’m afraid women aren’t allowed at the bar alone.” 

Kate raised an eyebrow and scoffed. “Honestly, I don’t care. Actually, forget the gin you British like it too bitter. I’d prefer rum.” 

“Miss I…” 

“S’alright. Rum’s on the house.” Tommy walked over and gave his bartender a reassuring nod. He sat down beside the blonde woman who gave him a polite smile. “You like kicking up a fuss wherever you go, that right?” 

“Well behaved women rarely make history, Mr. Shelby.” She smiled coyly. “I’m sure you didn’t get this bar by following the rules and being nice.” 

Tommy reached into his pocket and pulled out a silver shilling.“No, I won it in a coin toss.” He balanced the coin on top of his fist, resting on his flattened thumb. “Want to try it out?” 

Kate looked amused and clicked her tongue. “You like to rest a lot on bets.” 

“How I made my fortune.” 

She leaned forward, a mischievous glint in her blue eyes. “I once won a diamond necklace on a horse race and the title to a purebred Arabian stallion in a game of roulette.”

“Then this game is right up your alley.” Tommy didn’t show her any hint of being impressed. For all he knew she was just blowing smoke. “You win, you’ll get free drinks here for as long as you want. I win, you give me your birth certificate.” 

The bet didn’t appear to scare the woman. Instead, the corner of her lip upturned into a playful grin. “I’m surprised you don’t know everything about me already, Tommy, I’m sure you were searching all day.” When the bartender returned with her rum, she took a large drink. “Alright, I’ll play tails. If you’re lucky I’ll give it to you tonight.” 

“Fifty-fifty chance.” Tommy shrugged and flipped the coin into the air. He caught it and smacked it onto the top of his hand to show the results. 

Heads. 

Kate laughed and shook her head. “Good show, Mr. Shelby. Alright, you can have it. Or I can tell you my father’s name. That’s obviously what you’re looking for.” She surmised. 

Tommy finished his whiskey and shook his head. “I’d like to see it for myself. You only believe things that you see, I tend to operate the same way.” He responded and slid the shilling over to her on the bartop. 

“Has anyone ever bested you before, Tommy?” Kate tucked the coin into her purse without question. 

“No.” 

“So you’ll just keep going until you meet the man you can’t beat.” She shook her head and waved for a refill. 

“Suppose so.” 

After a few drinks, Tommy followed Kate back to her new flat. The three floors were cramped just like most Small Heath housing. But it was furnished and was more than enough room for one person. Tommy had to share the same sized space with four other siblings at one point in his life. 

Kate dug through her suitcase and retrieved the official piece of parchment with a seal. She pointed at the inked words with her dark red painted nails. “Kathleen Lynch.” She read off. “Father, Ryan Lynch. Mother, Francis Lynch.” 

Tommy scanned the document for any tells that it was forged or fake. 

“I changed my last name every time I had to leave a city for whatever reason.” She explained and crossed her arms over her chest. 

“My brother got information from your past time in ballet companies. They said you studied in Italy.” 

She laughed and went to the tiny kitchen. Tommy heard her searching through a few cabinets. “I only said that so they’d give me a shot. I learned ballet from an older woman. She was in the Russian Imperial Academy before she moved to the U.S. Better teacher than anyone in Italy.” 

Tommy committed her father’s name to memory before placing the birth certificate on the coffee table. “When did you learn French and Italian?” 

Kate returned with a bottle of wine. Chardonnay, like she said she liked back when they were in France. “I learned Italian from a few friends in Boston. The few that lived around South End. I learned French when I arrived in Paris. There were enough people in the Latin Quarter who knew a few different languages. I know enough to get by. If it’s a romance language I can find my way around it.” She removed the cork and took a drink right from the bottle. 

“You learned a lot from these Bohemians.” Tommy noted and held out a hand. 

She passed the bottle of wine over. “I like to learn a little from everyone I come into contact with. Everyone has something to teach.” 

Tommy watched as she tugged off her heels and stockings to get a little more comfortable. She was certainly different from the women he was raised by or worked with. At least she held a measure of class despite how brash she could be. “Who taught you about guns?” 

Kate reached into her purse and pulled out her small gun. “My mother.” She allowed him to inspect the pistol. Unlike that morning, it was loaded. “We lived in a rough part of Boston. My father was a drunk so he couldn’t protect us even if he tried. My mother always kept a loaded Winchester. Those who knew her were wise to leave her be after she shot a robber in the foot.” 

“Is that what you learned from her then?” 

Kate nodded. “I’ve had more than enough men test me.” Her playful nature faded a little as her blue eyes relived whatever past that still haunted her. 

“Ever kill a man?”

She snapped out of her daze and laughed bitterly. “Oh, Nature Boy, you’ll have to bet something good on a coin toss to get me to admit to anything like that.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the long wait!!

“So, what’s Boston like, then?” John slipped into a seat near Kate. A toothpick hanging from his teeth, a coy smile on his face. He liked the aura of the new girl. Fiery with a bit of mystique to her. It lit up the dull British morning. 

Kate was reading the newspaper in the betting shop, told by Tommy to wait for his meeting to be finished. “Not too different from here. Lot more Irish. Have to be careful where you drink, it’s never fun to have the police raid when the night’s still young. A shame, really. But if you know who pays the police off, then you’re safe.” Her eyes flicked up to the Shelby boy. “We prefer our tea in the harbor.” She winked.

He chuckled. “Can see why Tom took a liking to you.” He tipped back in his chair, precariously rocking back and forth on two legs.

“I actually don’t think he likes me all that much.” She replied, her eyes going back to the headlines. "His behavior towards me would point to someone who dislikes me very much." 

“Nah, he’s just a little wary of new people s’all.” He explained. "He always likes an intelligent bird, keeps 'im on his toes." 

“I'm flattered, but I genuinely think he's not very fond of me. But it must mean he really wants a slice of the American market.” Kate twisted around to look at the blackboard with all the odds written in chalk. “When’s the next derby? I’d like to go.”

“Sunday,” John answered and plucked the newspaper from her hands. “Want to place a bet?”

“I don’t bet on races I know will be fixed.” Kate smiled and patted her purse. “Unless I know which way they’ll be fixed.”

Tommy always entered a room with a good deal of force. Not physical force, he didn’t go around pushing people to make his presence known. No, it was more of an energy about him, the way he moved attracted attention. At first, Kate thought he walked like a soldier. But the more she saw him, the less she believed that. Instead, it was predatory. He walked with such a manner of authority and power that people instinctually moved out of his path.

“What’ve you got?” He arrived at the desk John and Kate were lounging around.

“And a beautifully good morning to you too, Mr. Shelby,” Kate replied sarcastically.

Tommy tugged off his gloves and held out an expectant hand. “Did you write anything down?”

She smiled, appreciating that he didn't bend over backward and held his ground. She liked a strong leader. To appease him, she opened her purse. “I’ve detailed out important family members in each city. Names of speakeasies. Alliances. Rivalries.” She listed off with each sealed envelope she handed to him. "I've even added where they like to go out to lunch. That's where they make business deals. Should one of them go up in flames." She shrugged and clicked the tongue. "C'est la vie." 

John watched with a hint of apprehension. “Is this something you really want to be getting into?” He asked his brother. They had enough enemies on the home front to even think about going on the offense in America.

Kate closed the latch on her purse. “These are experienced men.” She agreed with the younger Shelby. “They don’t run betting shops out of their apartments.”

Tommy let the jab roll off his shoulder as he began to tear open the envelopes of information. “Come into my office.” He ordered firmly.

John and Kate shared a humorous smile before she stood up to follow Tommy. “I’ve upheld my end of the bargain, so do I get protection from the Peaky Blinders?” She asked, sitting down and pulling out a cigarette.

“You do if this information is useful.” He reiterated and shut the door. “But you said you wanted work while you were here.”

“Sure, I’d like to keep busy and get a few extra coins in my purse.” She shrugged. “Have _you_ got something for me?”

“I do actually. The Derby’s coming up and I’d like for you to attend.” Tommy explained. “I’ll give you three quid for your trouble.”

“Not bad for a single event, what’s the catch?”

“Catch?”

Kate frowned. “I’m smart enough to know that you’re not willing to pay me three pound out of pocket just for looking pretty at an event. Maybe two pounds but that's pushing it, I think.”

“Actually, that’s exactly what I’m paying you for.” Tommy cleared his throat and reached for a cigarette. "I can afford to spend three pound on a pretty face." 

A familiar feeling of dread washed over her. “Ah.” She forced a knowing smile. “You mean to use my ‘expertise’ then.” The two stared at each other for a moment. Tommy coming to the realization that there was very little he could do to pull the wool over her eyes. She’d been around the block too many times. “I told you, Shelby, I’ve come to England for a different life. I won’t work as a whore for you, or anyone else. I’ll sooner sit out on the street begging before I go back to that life.” 

“Apologies.” He said. “I misjudged you.”

“Apparently.” Kate retorted coldly. “You can find someone else for this job. Once you realize that I’ve given you priceless information, I’m sure you’ll reconsider how you treat me.” She stood up and turned to leave.

“Wait.” Tommy stopped her before she could get out the door. “I apologize. Forget about this job. I’d still like you to attend the derby, not as a job. Just as a welcome to Birmingham. Once I confirm the information you’ve given me, I’ll give you something proper to do.” He promised.

Kate studied his face warily but nodded. “Alright.” She agreed. “I’ll attend the derby. But only for the fun of it.”

“Of course.” He agreed. “Oh, and Kate, wear red.”

She looked confused but nodded.

It was the first time Kate met Grace. She arrived at the derby before Tommy and the woman he was supposedly using in place of her. The bait, so to speak. She spent some time drinking and mingling with anyone who looked interesting or important to her.

It just so happened she had caught the attention of a man with a red pocket square. He had bought her a few drinks and she’d sent him flashing smiles.

Clearly, he was important. Sitting at a table with well-dressed men around him, some standing in a protective way behind him. No one ventured too close unless they were invited.

Before Kate had the chance to make her move, Tommy arrived with a pretty blonde on his arm. He caught sight of her and ushered Grace over. “Kate, enjoying yourself?” Tommy asked.

She glanced at the woman beside him. “This must be your barmaid.” She surmised by their body language. Close but cautious.

“I’m Grace.” She nodded and went to shake the woman’s hand.

Kate obliged. “Nice to meet you, I’ve heard a bit about you.”

Tommy cleared his throat, not really wanting to get into the discussion they’d had in France. His relationship with Grace was very new and fresh. In fact, it hadn’t made that leap yet into what Tommy desired. Of course, he was risking it by using her in place of Kate.

“Made any new friends?” Tommy wondered, steering the conversation.

“Yes, a gentleman over there.” She pointed out her admirer.

Tommy suddenly got a spark of victory and hesitation when she pointed out Billy Kimber. “Keen eye.” He said. “Grace, would you excuse us for a moment, maybe grab a table?”

The blonde looked unsure but nodded. “Okay.” She agreed and made her way through the crowd.

“Have you spoken to him?” Tommy asked in a low voice, standing close so she could hear him over the boisterous crowd and loud music. "Tell me you haven't approached him yet." He hadn't banked on Kate picking out the exact man he was targeting. 

“Not yet. I’m assuming he’s why you’re here.” Kate could already tell she had some leverage over him.

“I’m returning some of Mr. Kimber’s money that was stolen from him.” Tommy nodded, relieved that his plan could still run smoothly. “Should be here any moment.”

“And your barmaid?” She glanced over his shoulder to see Grace lingering innocently. 

He averted his eyes and cleared his throat.

Kate just scoffed and rolled her eyes. “So, I was right before. You were just looking for a whore.”

“She’s not a whore,” Tommy replied with a hint of defensiveness in his voice.

“You’re certainly treating her like one.” She retorted and stood her ground, keeping her chin lifted. “You beat up my manager at the Moulin Rouge, why'd you think?”

“Because he hit you.”

“Because you thought what he was doing was wrong. Most men look at the men in charge and think nothing of it. ‘Whores will do as whores do. What’s the problem that some are tryna make a buck off them?’ Now you’re acting just like them.” Kate’s eyes narrowed. “I thought you had feelings for her. Now you’re gonna throw her to the wolves?”

“This is business, she agreed to it.”

“I’m sure you know that it’s not what she agreed to.”

The two stood off for a few more moments before Tommy realized he was losing precious time. Arthur would be there any moment with the money.

“Your invitation came without an agreement.” He replied. “Enjoy yourself and don’t worry yourself with what I’m doing.” He passed by her to retrieve Grace.

Kate was smoking from the balcony, keeping her eyes sharp instead of enjoying herself as Tommy requested. Even though she couldn’t hear their conversation, she knew exactly what Tommy was playing as he closed in on the mustached man. Once he sat down at the table with money, the deal had begun. Then Billy Kimber stood up and approached Grace for a dance. It made Kate sick to her stomach. It was like when she was back in Paris. Watching young girls initiated into becoming a dancer. Their eyes were full of light caught up in the whirlwind excitement of the cabaret’s energy. Then a man took her behind closed doors. When she returned, the light in her eyes was snuffed out as if it had never been there in the first place. Kate wasn’t fortunate to see any of the girls gain that light back. She knew she wouldn’t ever find her light again.

She’d be damned if she let Tommy Shelby wreak havoc on the barmaid. Mindset, she descending the stairs back to the dancefloor and pushed her way through the crowd. That’s when she noticed Grace and Billy Kimber making their exit.

“Fuck,” Kate swore and found Tommy still at the table with a man in glasses. She grabbed him by the collar and forced him out of his chair. “You’ve got to be mad.” She hissed.

Tommy was a bit caught off guard but shook her off. “I told you…”

“Fuck off, you have no idea what you’re doing.” Kate snapped and went to chase after Grace. “Sar-Sarah!” She called.

Grace, fortunately, turned around as did Mr. Kimber.

“Oh, dearest me…” Kate feigned her best British accent and pressed a hand to her chest. “I thought you’d given me the slip, shame on you. You gave me such a fright.”

The blonde woman looked extremely confused but Billy Kimber was the first to speak. “Who are you?”

“I’m Lady Sarah’s sister, Lady Anna. I’m afraid I must accompany my sister, she’s younger, you see and I’m awfully protective over her.” Kate jutted out her lower lip as to not appear threatening but instead enticing.

Billy took the bait and smiled. “The more the merrier, my dear.” He touched her shoulder and guided her and Grace toward the exit.

Grace was looking to Kate for answers but the other woman simply forced a smile, trying to ignore the churning in her stomach.


	7. Chapter 7

“You’ve a lovely place, Mr. Kimber.” Kate batted her eyelashes as the man held a hand out for her, helping her step out of the car. It had been her plan ever since she haphazardly decided Grace would be spared. Instead of allowing the pretty blonde to meet with an unwelcomed situation, Kate would throw herself to the wolves. Or wolf.

“Ever seen a place this big?” He leered at her, looking for praise and affirmation.

It was all Kate could do not to roll her eyes. Men and their cocks. “Not in my life.” She put on a dainty smile and held out an arm to allow him to lead her inside.

Grace lagged behind, still unsure what the woman she barely knew was doing. Kate glanced over her shoulder and met her eyes. She simply gave a silent nod of reassurance.

Kimber led them upstairs to a billiards room where the gramophone was kept. Kate noticed that Grace was subtly glancing at something in her purse. It hinted at something protective.

A gun.

Maybe Tommy had armed the barmaid beforehand? It didn’t seem likely seeing as he was aloof with her well being.

“I’m afraid we didn’t get to dance, Lady Anna.” Billy turned to her once the music began to play.

A chill went down Kate’s spine and she tried to keep her breathing even-tempered. On the ship’s journey from Paris to England, she’d resolved herself that she would never allow another man to touch her without her consent. Moreover, she would never accept money in exchange for sex.

Perhaps she was going against her resolution. But to protect a fellow woman? So be it.

“Oh, I’m so awfully shy.” Kate bit her lip. “Maybe it could just be the two of us for a while? My sister can join us later.”

Billy looked a little disappointed. The dominant man was looking forward to having two seemingly fragile women under his thumb for two hours. “Well, I suppose that’ll be alright.” He jerked his head toward the door, wordlessly ordering Grace out.

She looked to Kate; a bit worried about her well-being.

The other woman nodded again, noticing that Grace left her purse on the billiards table. Not by accident.

Once the door closed, Kimber closed in on Kate. It was a hauntingly familiar feeling. Her personal space being invaded, the smell of a foreign man’s cologne permeating her senses and leaving her nauseous. He was not unlike other men. He was rough, not playing coy and easing into the affair.

Kate reluctantly took his hand and stiffly moved to the music with him. His grip was far too tight around her waist and she wanted so desperately to let her defensive mechanisms kick in. She cleared her throat. “Was there any word on when Mr. Shelby would be joining us?” She asked as casually as she could.

“Two hours, love, it can be just us for two hours,” Kimber growled into her ear. “Or if you’d like, call your sister up as well. Two pretty blondes would be such a treat. You want her to watch me fuck you, or-”

Kate couldn’t help the knee jerk reaction. Tommy wouldn’t be there for another two hours. Sick to her stomach, she tried to pull away from Billy. Feigning innocence when she realized what she’d done, she tucked a curl behind her ear. “Maybe a drink?” She requested.

Again, Kimber looked put off. It was clear the man liked being in control of everything. But he begrudgingly let go of her and retreated to the liquor cart by the gramophone.

While his back was turned, Kate reached for Grace’s purse. As she suspected, inside was a small handgun. It wasn’t too different from the one strapped to her leg.

“Now where did you say you and your sister were from?”

Kate froze. She hadn’t been privy to all of Grace’s fictional backstory. “Does that matter?” She tilted her head to the side.

Kimber turned around with a glass of whiskey. “It’s a simple question, dear.” He moved towards her like a dangerous predator. “Something I think you would know.”

It was difficult to maintain a ruse when you weren’t in on said ruse. “I-I’d like to get to know more about you, Mr. Kimber.” Deflection was the only weapon she had, that and a bit of touch. She toyed with the lapel of his jacket as he got close enough. “Tell me everything.”

He chuckled darkly and shook his head. “You are a clever one, aren’t you?” Without warning, he threw the crystal glass over her shoulder, making her flinch and yelp. The glass shattered on the opposite wall, shards clattering to the wood floor. Kimber grabbed Kate by the throat, backing her up against the billiards table. “Don’t you think I know who you are?” He hissed.

Shaken, Kate grabbed at his wrist in an attempt to get him off. His fingers weren’t tight around her neck so she could speak. “I’ve no idea what you mean.” Her voice quivered. Maybe there was still one more sliver of hope left for the act to be maintained.

Unfortunately, powerful men were always paranoid at those who would dethrone them. “You work for Shelby, yeah? Or are you just a whore he picked up off the street to try and distract me?” He shouted inches from her face. “What is he up to?!”

At that moment, the door burst open and Tommy stumbled in past a hand.

Kimber looked enraged. “What are you doing here, I still have another hour!” He snapped, his face nearly turning red.

“Wait, just wait.” Tommy cleared his throat and looked to Kate almost searching for the words. “Listen to me, I-I was going to let you go through with it, but my conscience got the better of me. She looks good on the outside.” He swallowed and pointed at her. “But sh-but she has the clap.”

Kate’s mouth popped open but she didn’t say anything else. Fine, if that’s how she was going to get out of the situation, she could let Tommy have it later.

“Yeah, syphilis.” He continued as Billy looked disgusted and took a few steps away from Kate. “When you took a shine to her I thought I’d use her. She’s a whore.”

The word stung more than Tommy probably realized. For a while, Kate had become so numb to it. But when she received what she felt was a new lease on life, she learned to abhor the term.

“Go wait in the car,” Tommy ordered.

Nauseated and irritated, Kate grabbed Grace’s purse and stormed out of the estate as fast as she could.

Grace was already in the car in the front seat. She looked relieved when Kate came out. She opened the door for her, allowing her in the backseat. “Did he hurt you?” She asked.

“No,” Kate replied in a huff and returned the purse to her. “Thank you for leaving that for me, but I carry my own.”

Grace took the purse and peeked inside to see the gun was still there, untouched. She wasn’t sure what to say in response.

A couple of minutes later, Tommy came out of the manor and got into the car. Neither one of them spoke until they were past the gates of Kimber’s property.

“You carry a gun, why did you let him do that?” Tommy asked. 

“Because he’s no use to you dead. At least not right now.” Kate replied.

She didn’t get a reply.

With her bruised ego, it took Kate a few days to tolerate Tommy’s presence for more than a few minutes. Besides, the ball was in his court. He had the leads for America, so it was his turn to act on the information. But from what Kate could gather, the war with the Lees was heating up. There was very little the Brummies would disclose to her. They were a suspicious bunch who were apparently all waiting for Tommy’s all clear. Either she could be trusted or she would become an enemy.

Still, Kate surmised that there was enough on Tommy’s plate. Too much to delve into more trouble. So perhaps the American leads were set aside for a rainy day. He was the type of man who could hardly go a day without getting into some sort of trouble, after all.

In the end, Tommy was the one to end the stalemate between them. He arrived at her flat early one morning.

“Yes?” Kate folded her arms across her chest.

“Would you come take a drive with me?” He requested with a half-smoked cigarette in hand.

“Where? Someone else wants to spend an evening with Lady Anna with the clap?” She accused sarcastically.

Tommy had to have been expecting backlash. He sighed and tilted his head to the gray, dreary sky for a moment. “In fact, we’re going to negotiate with the Lees.” He waved an arm toward the car, urging her along.

“Why would you want to bring me?” She narrowed her eyes with suspicion. After the stunt he pulled at the derby, she wasn’t keen on taking any open-ended offers from him. She wasn’t sure if he’d learned his lesson yet.

“It’s nice to have a woman’s touch along. Evens things out.” Tommy replied. “They know I wouldn’t start a brawl with a woman in my company.”

“You wouldn’t?” Kate raised an eyebrow with a simpering look. “Shocker.”

“Will you come along?” He requested again, a hint of annoyance in his voice.

“Go ask your barmaid.”

“She isn’t exactly happy with me right now either.” He admitted with a grimace. “So if you would-” He gestured to the car again. 

“Four pounds.”

Tommy pinched the bridge of his nose. “Three pounds.”

“Three and I get to drive.” Kate grabbed her coat and stepped out of the house before he agreed.

He sighed and followed her to the car, not protesting when she got in the driver’s seat.


	8. Chapter 8

Johnny Dogs met them half a mile from the Lee’s campsite. He carried a pole with a white scarf tied to the top. “I got you ten minutes with her.” He clarified.

Kate stepped out and gave Tommy a concerned look. “Are you walking me into a war zone, Mr. Shelby?”

“They respect the white flag.” He responded, neither confirming nor denying.

She sighed and shut the car door. “Well, at least I’m never bored when I’m with you, Tommy Shelby.”

He pulled out a cigarette, shrugged and began walking.

Once the camp came into view, Kate said a prayer under her breath. Rumors told her that the Lees were not to be messed with. But it seemed that’s exactly what Tommy was doing.

People eyed them as they wove their way through vardos and fires. Kate couldn’t help but notice some of the men holding guns or clubs. Their menacing stares followed them but they didn’t advance. Maybe Tommy was right about the white flag. It kept them at bay.

Eventually, they stopped at an intricately painted vardo. Johnny knocked on the door with the end of the pole while another man opened the door for them.

“Stay out here,” Tommy spoke quietly to Kate.

She raised an eyebrow. “You brought me all the way out here to stand around while you conduct business behind closed doors?” She hissed in disbelief. “Could’ve been doing a million other things right now.”

Instead of explaining his reasoning, Tommy stepped up into the wagon and shut the door behind him.

“Unbelievable,” Kate muttered under her breath and took a seat on the steps.

After negotiating with Zilpha regarding Billy Kimber and a betrothal, Tommy reached into his pocket for a cigarette.

“_What about the girl_?” Zilpha asked in their native tongue.

“Which girl?” Tommy asked as he struck a match.

The matriarch nodded toward the door. “The American.”

“She’s one of the clever minds I’ve collected.” He replied. “She’s my in with the American market. Should our alliance go well, I’ll share the wealth.”

Zilpha just laughed a bit sarcastically. “You’re biting off more than you can chew, _chavi._ What happens when this all catches up to you? _How long do you think you can run from the devil before he catches you?_”

“I’ll worry about that when he catches me.” Tommy stood and stepped back outside.

Kate lifted her head when the door opened. “Oh, thank God, these men will not stop staring at me.” She glanced over at some of the Lee men who had kept a steely eye on her and Johnny. They hardly flinched, staying almost as still as soldiers, their hands never leaving their rifles. “I was afraid they were going to start using me as target practice.”

Tommy offered a hand to help her stand up from the steps. “All’s well now.” He assured her and began walking back toward the car with Johnny.

“Well, I was never meant to be involved in this. I told you the information I would give you and you’ve been yanking me ‘round trying to do other little odd jobs.”

Tommy looked a tad amused. “Don’t think I would want to see you try to break in a horse.” He replied.

Baffled, Kate stopped in her tracks. “What on Earth is that supposed to mean?” She threw her hands up.

Johnny and Tommy just shared a chuckle.

Kate let Tommy drive on the way back. They were quiet for a bit until she grew restless and curious. “So, you were raised somewhere like there? In a camp like that?” She asked. 

“On and off.” He replied curtly. His childhood wasn’t the burning subject on his mind. He was trying to conjure up the perfect plan to kill Billy Kimber. It was not a time for reminiscing on his shitty childhood.

“You lived in Small Heath sometimes too?”

“Yes.”

Kate studied his face, the way his blue eyes stared straight ahead at the road. A hardened expression giving her indications that he wasn’t keen on talking about it. And yet, she continued on. “What was it like?”

“We were poor. I was born on a fucking boat. I learned to ride and shoot a gun before I even attended school.” He listed off with a tone of finality. “What matters is right now. Can’t keep looking back.”

“Sometimes if we forget where we came from, we lose the path ahead of us.”

“That another philosophy from your Bohemians?” Tommy looked for a way to steer the conversation away from himself.

“No, it’s something I’ve learned over the years.” She glanced out the window watching the outskirts of Birmingham pass by. The empty fields and stone walls lining the road. “Our past will always be a part of us whether we like it or not. It’s something we can’t escape.”

“What can’t you escape?”

Kate smiled and glanced over at him. “So many things, Nature Boy. Just like you.”

After saving her from certain assault, Kate got closer to Grace. It was nice having someone to talk to who wasn’t overly suspicious all the time. Grace was at the right enough distance from the Shelby family to make acquaintance with Kate. Not in too deep but not too far away either.

Tommy was still busy with his own work that he neglected the leads Kate had given him. So, she found herself bored more often than not. To pass the time, she went to the Garrison to chat with Grace and help her around the pub.

While they weren’t sharing their deepest secrets with one another, they did get along. Kate found the soft-spoken barmaid pleasant to spend time with. The blonde was certainly unlike the women she spent time with at the Moulin Rouge. She smiled more and sang often. Clear signs that the light in her eyes hadn’t been snuffed out.

One evening, Kate was nursing a gin at the bar. Grace was sweeping up as they talked idly. For some reason or another, Kate suddenly noticed the sun had begun to set. She wasn’t sure she’d ever seen the Garrison empty past noon.

“Where is everyone?” She asked.

“Tommy said there’s a family occasion,” Grace replied, walking back over to the bar.

“Family occasion?”

“He told me not to ask questions.” She shrugged and rearrange a few bottles on the shelves. “It’s in my contract.”

“That’s why I never sign anything. Don’t need some fucker holding my own signature over my head for leverage.” Kate grumbled. “What a lousy asshole for not inviting us. At least you, you know him better than I do. I see the way he looks at you.”

Grace’s cheeks flushed pink and she hid an embarrassed smile. “But I’m not family.”

“Fuck that.” Kate finished her gin and stood up. “Let’s go crash this occasion of theirs.”

The other woman chuckled but shook her head. “I have to mind the bar.” She reminded her. “And I don’t think Tommy would appreciate if we did that.”

“Well, I’m bored and fuck what Tommy says. Sure you don’t want to come?” Kate went to retrieve her coat.

Grace’s brow wrinkled with concern. She could only imagine the anger on Tommy’s face if Kate showed up unannounced. “Why don’t you just stay with me here? You can keep me company.”

“I’ll be back later once Tommy kicks me out,” Kate smirked and left before Grace could stop her.

It wasn’t hard finding the wedding reception. Mostly because there were fireworks being lit up. Kate found her way to the Lees camp again where the party was in full swing. She had enough alcohol in her system not to really care what people thought. If Tommy wanted to trust her then he would need to give her chances. Keeping her at bay at all times would prove nothing.

Besides, Kate had decided that it was her new course of action. Tommy wasn’t the only one planning to profit off of their relationship.

The wedding guests were all substantially drunk. Music was being played and people were dancing up a storm. Lanterns and torches lit up the affair and allowed enough light for Kate to find her way through the crowd.

Unfortunately, Tommy found her first. He grabbed her by the arm and pulled her toward a makeshift table. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Grace said there was a family occasion and I wanted to offer my well wishes.” She shrugged nonchalantly. “Who got married?”

“For fuck’s sake.” Tommy ran a hand over his face. Luckily for Kate, he wasn’t really in the mood to make a fuss about her intrusion. He sat down at the table and pointed to where people were dancing. “John did.”

Surprised, Kate glanced over her shoulder to see the younger Shelby brother with a pretty brunette by his side. “I didn’t know he was engaged.”

“Yeah, neither did he,” Tommy muttered and took a long drag of his cigarette.

Polly walked over with a worried expression. “You should tell Ada to slow down.” She looked at Kate in acknowledgment but apparently there were more pressing matters at hand.

Tommy just snorted a bitter laugh, looking out to where his heavily pregnant sister was spinning about like a madwoman. “Think she’ll listen to me?” 

“Your sister?” Kate had yet to meet Ada due to circumstances with Freddie Thorne. But she had heard the name swirling around. Mostly agitated whispers and grumbles of betrayal.

“She’s been drinking, oh Christ, Tommy please.” Polly urged him. Looking worn out, Tommy stood up and went to approach his sister.

Zilpha Lee smiled a bit curiously at Kate. “You’re the American girl Tommy brought along the other day.”

“Oh, yes.” Kate nodded.

The older woman stubbed out her cigarette and nodded. “He’s got plans for you, _chavi_.” Her tone was playful there was a hint of warning laced underneath.

Kate didn’t have the chance to reply. The dancing was suddenly interrupted by Ada Shelby shouting drunkenly at Tommy. “And he tries to kill his own brother-in-law!”

The rest of the Shelby family went to step in and even Kate walked over just in case things broke out in a fight. But the mood changed just as suddenly as the argument had broken out. Ada let out a pained groan and began breathing heavily.

Polly exclaimed in shock. “Holy shit, water.”

Tommy immediately stepped into action, placing his coat over his sister’s shoulders and starting to move her away from the party. But he paused for a second. “Kate, come along.”

Startled and not about to argue with the family in a crisis, she ran after them.

Kate wasn’t sure what she was getting herself into as she was hurried into a car with John, Arthur, and Esme. But she felt she wasn’t in any position to step away. She’d crashed the wedding and now she was really paying for it.

Once they arrived at the flat, Kate got out of the car looking at Tommy in disbelief. “What am I doing here?”

“Me sister’s giving birth, she’ll need all the help she can get.” He replied, not looking too concerned over the situation now that the women were apparently in charge.

Her eyes widened at him. “You think just because I’m a woman I’ve got experience with children? Oh yeah, sure I’ve delivered plenty of babies, hundreds even!” She smacked him with her purse. “I worked at a fucking brothel, pregnancies were cut short. I don’t know the first thing ‘bout childbirth.”

“I’m sure you give great moral support though.” Tommy placed his hands on her shoulders and steered her toward the door where Esme and Polly had gone through. “Breaking in a horse, Kate.”

“I still don’t know what that means!”

The room was chaotic with Ada’s screams and Polly and Esme trying to get the baby out safely. Kate was in a state of shock and could only hold Ada’s hand as she wailed in pain. The Shelby sister’s grip was like an iron and Kate was afraid she was going to break a few fingers in the process.

“We need to move her to all fours,” Esme said and Polly agreed. The two women helped Ada forward and Kate was pushed back a bit. Unfortunately, that gave Kate a good view of the birth in progress. The sight was too much for Kate. Her eyes rolled back and she fainting, dropping to the floor like a dead weight.


	9. Chapter 9

It was a night to remember that was for sure. John’s wedding had ended up in Ada giving birth which led to Freddie’s arrest. Tommy knew he had nothing to do with it, he honored a truce. Of course, his aunt didn’t buy it.

After she was done yelling at him and had simmered down a bit, Tommy sat down with her at the Garrison’s bar. Grace quietly cleaned up around them.

“Where’s Kate?” He asked.

“With Esme and Ada. She fainted while Ada was giving birth.”

Tommy had to hide his smirk. Apparently, the woman hadn’t been lying when she said she was inexperienced with pregnancies. Still, he was wise not to make a joke out of it in front of Polly. “Let her stay over just to make sure she’s okay. I’ll speak to her tomorrow morning.” He finished his last whiskey and got up to retrieve his coat.

“What about Freddie?” Polly turned around on her barstool.

But her nephew didn’t answer.

Kate was still sporting a nasty headache after fainting and hitting her head on the nearby dresser. Polly said it was lucky she’d only walked away from a headache.

Just to make sure nothing was wrong, Kate decided to stay in for the day to rest and take it easy. Unfortunately, she was in Birmingham and the city rarely let her rest.

Tommy was knocking at the door by ten in the morning. Kate begrudgingly answered. “You know I think I’d have less of a headache if you allowed me to go out drinking with you instead of being with your sister.”

“I suppose I should’ve listened to you beforehand.” He replied apologetically. “How are you feeling?”

“Like someone threw a brick at me and didn’t miss.” She retorted and crossed her arms over her chest. “What do you want?”

“Care to take a walk with me?”

“Why?”

“Why not?”

She snorted. “Because Tommy Shelby doesn’t do anything without a reason. You live like a soldier. Every move is planned if it isn’t then you risk injury or death.”

“I can tell you on the way.”

Kate appreciated that he at least dropped the act when she called him out on it. So, she grabbed her coat and stepped outside.

Beyond Birmingham, up a fairly steep path, sat a graveyard. The grass was overgrown and the monuments were old. Some had succumbed to the elements and fell to the side. Crosses and rounded tombstones littered about in no particular pattern or organization. Some of the names and dates were still legible but others had been weathered away. So much so that only some lines or curves were left up to interpretation.

Tommy picked his way through the graveyard. It was clear he knew the area well as he didn’t disturb any of the plots. Maybe out of respect or superstition.

Kate did her best to keep up with him, picking up her skirt and trying to ignore the long grasses scratching against her ankles. She lagged behind but managed to keep his heavy dark coat in view. 

Finally, Tommy stopped and threw his hands in his pockets. Kate caught up to him went to stand beside him. His blue eyes were locked on a small wooden cross that had been hammered into the ground.

**Daniel Owens. **

“Someone you knew?” She asked.

“Yes.” He nodded. “He’s working for me in London.”

“You mean he did?”

“No, he still is.” Tommy cleared his throat and struck up a light for his cigarette.

“I don’t understand-”

“Don’t you want to know why I brought you along?” He wondered.

“Sure but…”

“My brothers are about to get some payments from a fighting ring. They’ve yet to obtain a license.” Tommy responded and began walking away from Daniel’s grave.

Kate gave the site one more perplexed look before going to follow him. She trotted a few steps to match his long stride. “So why aren’t you there with them?”

“Because I’ve got people watching me. Waiting for a reason to lock me up. They won’t have much to go on if they know I’ve gone on a walk with another party.”

“You needed an alibi.” Kate nodded in understanding. “Well, I suppose as long as you’re not getting me into trouble, that’s fine by me.” She missed the hint of a smile on his face.

Tommy checked his pocket watch. “Hungry?”

“I could eat.” She nodded.

“Good.” He returned his watch to the inside of his coat. “They should be back by now.”

“I should go and see Grace later. She was telling me not to find you guys last night.” Kate said as she and Tommy entered the flat on Watery Lane. “I’m afraid she thinks you might’ve done away with me.”

He chuckled. “I’m sure she knows you’re fine.”

The two stepped into the kitchen and Tommy froze. A hardened look of anger and hatred plastered over his face.

Kate wasn’t sure who the man was sitting at the table but she didn’t doubt that Tommy didn’t expect to see him there. Polly, John, Arthur, and Finn were also in the kitchen. They all looked uncomfortable as well by the strange man’s presence.

“Speak of the Devil, how are you, son?”

Kate’s eyes widened a little. She hadn’t asked about Tommy’s parents mostly out of courtesy. The last time she’d pried about his past, she hadn’t gotten a warm response. None of the Shelby siblings mentioned either of their parents. For good reason, she assumed. Either they were dead or there was bad blood. At least with their father, it was bad blood.

“Get out.” Tommy snapped instantly.

“Come on, son.” Arthur Sr. appealed. “I’m a changed man.” 

His son was not in the mood. “This family needed you ten years ago. You walked out on us. We don’t need you anymore.” His frigid voice sliced through the room. “Get out of this house.”

Arthur’s brow knit together. “Tommy, he’s different.”

“You, shut up,” Tommy responded harshly.

Their father stood up. “It’s alright, son.” He wiped his hands and went to get his things. He gave Tommy a lingering look of surprise and almost seemed mildly humored. “Quite something you’ve become.” He quipped before heading out the door. He tousled Finn’s hair before he left.

“Kate, go,” Tommy ordered without looking at her.

“Okay did you…”

“Just go.”

She looked to Polly who seemed tired. She sighed and waved her hand to the door, trying to save the young woman from getting embroiled in the family mess.

“Alright, I’ll go,” Kate said quietly and took her leave. She headed down the road and considered a stop by the Garrison to see Grace and maybe get something to eat. But something was gnawing at her stomach and it wasn’t hunger. So, instead, she decided to return to her own flat.

The people of Birmingham began to ignore her. Before, they eyed her as a foreign intruder. They didn’t know where her loyalty lay or what she was looking for. But it seemed the longer you were seen with Tommy Shelby, the more people chose to ignore you. For their own good, most likely. Still, it didn’t settle Kate. She still felt like she didn’t have a place to call home. True, she’d gotten used to her flat and the layout of Small Heath, but that wasn’t enough to call it home. Did she have a steady job or a steady income? Did she have friends and cohorts? Everything was so ambiguous and hushed in Birmingham. Kate was afraid she’d go to bed and wake up married without her even knowing what happened. Still, she held out hope that an alliance with the Peaky Blinders would do her some good in the long run. Every good deal took some time. She just had to wait it out, as usual.

Unlocking the front door, she stepped inside. Her flat was chilly and she wondered if she’d left a window open. But the thought faded away when she noticed a piece of mail on the ground. She picked it up and tore open the envelope. “Hang on…” She whispered to herself and turned the envelope back over.

In black ink, someone had written her name. A fact that wasn’t supposed to be alarming, except when she saw that it was her given name.

_Kathleen Lynch_

It was the name she left behind in Boston many years ago. No one in France knew it was her real name and the only person in Birmingham who knew was Tommy. Besides, no one in Boston was supposed to know where she was. She left behind a confusing path of towns and cities that she stayed in under different aliases. There was no way anyone would have been able to track her.

Beginning to panic, Kate pulled out the letter and began to scan through it. She didn’t recognize the handwriting but that didn’t mean much.

_Dear Kate, _

_It’s been quite a while but you slipped away before I could give you my well wishes. We should meet up again soon to discuss the past. You have a lot of things you need to answer for. You once said you were a woman who paid her debts. And yet, you still have some to pay. _

_ I plan on paying you a visit very soon. It would be wise of you not to run again. _

_ SL _

The initials printed on the bottom of the parchment was enough to make Kate’s world turn upside down. She dropped the letter and rushed to the washroom, becoming physically sick. Her brain was swirling and her body was tense with learned defenses. She thought she’d been careful enough. She thought she hadn’t left a trail of evidence. She was so vigilante. How? How could this have happened?

Terrified there were people watching her flat, she grabbed the letter and stuffed it into her coat. She locked the door behind her and ran the whole way to the Garrison.


	10. Chapter 10

Grace was hunched over a ledger when Kate burst in through the doors. “You look as if you’ve seen a ghost.” She remarked.

“I don’t have much time.” Kate glanced over her shoulder; afraid someone had followed her to the pub. “But I wanted to say my goodbyes to you in person and hoped that you would pass them along to the rest of the family.”

“Goodbyes? What on Earth are you talking about?” Grace looked alarmed.

“Really, I did quite enjoy our talks together. You helped the time pass by faster in this…_wonderful_ city. And I wanted to warn you. Warn you that, Tommy.” Kate shook her head. “That isn’t a path you want to go down. Trust me I know what getting into this life entails. Once you’re in, you never get out of it. So, I’d run while you still have both legs.”

“Kate, sit down and talk to me, you’re about to faint!” Grace stood and pulled up a chair for her.

“I can’t stay, really I-”

The doors opened and Kate reacted instinctually. She pulled out her gun and pointed it at the doors.

Tommy put his hands up defensively. “I can’t walk into me own pub without getting shot?” He joked half-heartedly.

“Tommy, talk to her, she’s run in here talking nonsense.” Grace waved him over, her brow furrowed.

“What’s going on?” Tommy went to walk over but paused. He locked the doors behind him just in case there really was danger lurking around the corner.

“I need to leave,” Kate explained cryptically.

“Why?”

“Because I just do!” She huffed anxiously. “You take the information I gave you, free of charge. Forget about me and let me go on my way.” Her mind was racing. Where on Earth would she go? There were very few hiding spots she had left unless she ventured even further East. She wondered if Australia was far enough.

“Kate. What happened? Are you in danger?”

“Sit down.” Grace urged and placed a hand on Kate’s shoulder.

She hoped she wasn’t wasting precious time by sitting down. “I received a letter from an old-I don’t know how you would describe our relationship. Maybe an enemy, who cares. I received a letter from him and I know what he’s after.”

“What is he after?” Grace sat back down beside Kate.

“Me.” She swallowed and looked at her hands. “My father was in so deep in Boston. He had nothing left and the people he had taken money from were closing in on our family. So, he made a deal with them. Six months to get the money back in full, plus interest. If that failed, then I would be betrothed to the head of the family, Santo Leoni.”

“I’m guessing you skipped town before those six months were up,” Tommy said.

Kate nodded with a grim expression. “There was no point waiting around for my father to fail. Figures he wouldn’t put his own life on the line, rather he’d use his daughter as a bargaining chip. That’s the kind of man he was. I knew he’d never get the money so I left for France. Now Santo’s found out where I am.”

“How?” Grace looked to Tommy as if he’d have any answers.

She shook her head. “I haven’t the faintest. I thought I was in the clear a long time ago but I guess I’ve let my guard down too soon. I should’ve known he would catch up to my one of these days.”

“Well even if he knows where you are, it doesn’t matter.” Grace insisted. “He can’t force you to marry him.”

“Santo always gets his way,” Kate replied with a bitter smile. “So, I should be on my way before he catches up.”

“You can’t just run the rest of your life,” Grace argued. “Tommy, you have to do something.”

The Blinder paused, considering the consequences of pissing off an American mafia leader. He was chomping at the bit to claim his kingdom. Map out the territory that he could rule with an iron fist. But was he willing to go to bat for a young woman who had been promised to someone with more power than him? “No, Grace is right.” He spoke without really thinking. The war had subdued his good nature, the romantic in him that still believed in knights in shining armor. Men who saved the day, helping damsels in distress. But that part of him hadn’t been snuffed out completely. “You’re under the protection of the Peaky Blinders.” He said steadily.

Kate got a very bad feeling that started in the pit of her stomach and bubbled up to her throat. A sour taste spread across her tongue. She didn’t want to run across the globe for the rest of her life. Constantly looking over her shoulder in case there were enemies near. But would she risk the lives of people she knew very little of? People who had, in their own way, taken care of her? Putting them up as collateral when she was the one to blame for her circumstances. “If anyone was to get hurt because of me-”

“I think you’ll find that we’re very resilient.” Tommy interrupted. “As long as you live in Birmingham, no one will harm you.”

“Your confidence could be the end of you, Tommy Shelby,” Kate warned.

The man just shrugged.

Two men stood outside of Kate’s apartment that night and the night after. Still, it didn’t feel like enough protection. She was grateful, but she knew that Santo didn’t like when people stood in his way. He had a tendency of thinking very little about human life. Those who didn’t matter to him were like gnats. Easily swatted down without a second glance.

The night after receiving the letter, Kate suffered a horrible nightmare. One she thought she’d escaped a long time ago. 

Back in the alleyways of Boston. She carried only the bare essentials in a small bag. Nothing to weigh her down. She was only half a block from her flat when she heard a loud explosion. Fear told her to keep moving but she couldn’t help but look back. Her building was engulfed in flames. Other tenants started to scream as they became trapped in the inferno.

Over the chaos of shrieks and glass shattering, Kate heard his voice.

“_Micina_. Don’t make me come and hunt you down.” He called out into the night. “You can run to the ends of the Earth and I’ll still find you.”

Kate tasted ash on her tongue as she jerked awake. The echoing sounds of crying and his taunts flooded her. She hunched over her knees and rocked herself to try and comfort her anxious mind. Maybe Birmingham was the end of the Earth. And Santo had kept his promise.

“You don’t look well,” Grace commented gently.

Kate spent her time either in the betting shop or in the Garrison after getting the letter. That way, she always had a watchful eye over her. Tommy had his hands full with Kimber but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t keep his promise. Especially since Grace insisted that he step up and make sure the woman was kept safe.

“I didn’t sleep much last night,” Kate admitted.

“It’s alright to feel scared.”

She simply nodded and tried to put on a smile.

Grace yawned and went back to her ledger.

Kate propped up her feet on a nearby chair and leaned back a bit. “You don’t seem too well rested either.” She noted. "You've been yawning all day." 

A hint of a smile crossed Grace’s face. “I suppose I didn't get much sleep either.”

Kate caught onto her coy nature. “Well, out with it. What were you up doing last night?” She coaxed.

The blonde woman laughed and shook her head, keeping her eyes down sheepishly. “I spent the night with Tommy.” She confessed.

Kate’s eyebrows raised in surprise. “Yeah?” She nudged her friend’s shoulder playfully. “He wasn’t cold to the touch, was he? Still has a beating heart?” She teased.

“No, no, he was very…warm.” Grace’s fair cheeks began to blush at the memory of the night before. The way Tommy held her so tenderly. It was a far cry from the man he was on the streets. 

“I’ve seen the way he looks at you.” She noted. “It’s about time, don’t you think? What’s next, then?”

“Oh, I dunno.” Grace tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and tried to keep her eyes on her handwriting but couldn’t concentrate.

“Well, you’ll end up together don’t you think?”

The smile was torn from Grace’s lips. Her eyes stared blankly at the ledger beneath her hand. “No, no, I don’t think so.” She whispered somberly.

“Why?”

Grace stood up suddenly. “They’ll be here soon.”

Kate turned around in her chair. “For what?”

“They’re taking out Billy Kimber today.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italian:   
Micina: Little Kitty


	11. Chapter 11

Grace and Tommy were serving beers while the Peaky Blinders chatted. A nervous energy filled the air. Everyone knew that they were walking into another battle. Striding into uncertainty. There was no guaranteed any of them would make it out of the standoff alive.

Kate went to sit at the bar beside Arthur. “Where do you boys want me to stand?”

“Best stay here with Grace. Polly’ll be at the betting shop holding down the fort.” The eldest Shelby responded.

“And I’ll be safe here?”

“Kimber’s men ain’t taking a step past us.” Arthur proclaimed confidently and nudged John who nodded in agreement.

But the mood in the pub changed in an instant when Jerimiah strode in and whispered something in Arthur’s ear.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” Arthur groaned and stood up. He walked behind the bar with Jerimiah and walked to the backroom where Tommy and Grace had disappeared to moments earlier.

Kate couldn’t hear what they were speaking about but the look on Tommy’s face when he emerged was clear enough. Something was wrong.

“Kate, get up, follow me.” He ordered.

“What’s going on?” She stood up but hesitated.

“Right, let’s get a move on!” Arthur’s voice boomed over the mirth in the bar.

Tommy grabbed Kate by the arm and pulled her towards the door.

He didn’t answer any questions Kate asked on the way to Ada’s flat. He simply moved quickly, urging her along. Polly was already upstairs with Ada and the baby when Tommy stormed inside.

“Ada, c’mon. Go with Kate, get to the Bull Ring where there’s lots of people.” He spoke firmly almost to try and eliminate any need for questions.

Polly, however, wouldn’t do anything without an explanation. “What’s going on?” 

“We’ve been fucking betrayed.” Tommy paced about the room like a trapped hornet. “Someone let it slip to Kimber. They’re on their way here and we’re outnumbered.”

Ada scooped up Karl, her eyes met Kate who was finding it hard to move a muscle. Kate expected to see fear on her face, but instead, she seemed to be thinking something over.

“Who else knew today was the day you were moving in on Kimber?” Polly questioned.

There was a pause in the room. Tommy stared into the hearth where a small fire was blazing. Realization settled over his face. The horror of his discovery was enough to make Polly’s lips part in disappointment.

It hit Kate when she least expected it. “Grace told me.” She said before she could stop herself. Polly turned to look at her. “She said you were going after Billy Kimber, just moments before you all came into the Garrison today.” Kate’s stomach wrung into knots. How could Grace betray Tommy and the rest of the family? She assumed the barmaid was close to the family, close enough to care about their wellbeing. She liked to think she had a read on people who were deceptive. But she never expected such a move from Grace. Maybe she’d underestimated Birmingham.

Polly’s jaw set with resolution. “I’ll deal with her.” She said to her nephew.

Tommy regained some composure and nodded curtly. He looked to Kate, wondering what the consequences were if he trusted another outsider. But there was no time. “Take Ada to the Bull Ring, stay where it’s crowded the most. Make sure people see you.”

“Could you help me with his pram?” Ada asked quietly, ushering Kate to the door.

Kate nodded; a bit dazed. “Yeah, yeah, of course.”

Tommy and Polly left the flat as Kate and Ada were getting Karl settled in the carriage. Neither of them spoke a word to the women, both of them heading right into a confrontation. Both of which had the possibility of being fatal.

Once they disappeared around the corner, Kate glanced both ways down the street. “Which way to the Bull Ring? I think I’ve gotten a bit turned around.”

“We’re not going to the Bull Ring,” Ada replied, tucking the blankets snug around her baby boy.

“But Tommy said-”

“Fuck what Tommy said. I’m not going to stand around waiting to hear if my husband’s dead or not.” Ada made up her mind and began pushing the pram towards Garrison Lane.

“Ada…” Kate felt like her feet were cemented to the ground with her options. She could let Tommy’s sister do as she pleased while she headed for safety. It risked the backlash from Tommy who Kate knew didn’t like when people didn’t listen. Or she could follow Ada into an uncertain fate. There didn’t seem to be an option of talking Ada out of her decision. If she was anything like her brothers, she stuck to her guns.

Kate sighed under her breath, made sure her pistol was loaded in her purse and jogged to catch up to Ada. She could only hope these men weren’t crazy enough to shoot around a mother and child.

Men in heavy coats stood shoulder to shoulder. Facing off like soldiers in the war.

“Oh, dear God,” Kate whispered under her breath.

“Move!” Ada snapped, fearlessly shoving men aside, making her way into the center of the standoff.

Kate was sure she looked just as horrified as the Peaky Blinders. She stood near Ada and slipped her hand into her purse. She scanned over the group of men and locked eyes with Tommy.

“Ada!” Freddie looked incredulous. Certainly, this was the last thing he expected, showing up to a standoff only to have his wife and son interrupt.

“Shut up!” Ada replied.

“Have you lost your mind?”

“I said shut up!” She shouted. “I’m wearing black in preparation.” The young woman removed her hat and stood down her husband. “I want you to look at me.”

Kate held a finger over the trigger of her gun hidden in her purse. Ada’s words slipped away; the situation was too tense to listen to her. Kate’s eyes moved from Tommy to the other side where Billy Kimber stood looking a bit dumbfounded. She waited, watched for any sudden movement. She didn’t plan on killing anyone when she woke up that morning but plans changed.

“She’s right you know.” Billy Kimber’s voice, horrifyingly familiar to Kate, piped up. “Why should all you men die?” There was no time to question why Kimber was been so blasé. “It should just be them who’ve caused it.” Before he finished, his gun was raised and a shot rang out through the street.

Kate nearly dropped to her knees simply by instinct. But a protective sense kicked in. She grabbed Ada and shielded her so she could push the pram out of the line of fire. Another shot fired and Kate looked back. She saw one of the Blinders fall. Tommy had stumbled back, his hand pressed to his chest. When he lifted his hand, Kate saw blood.

“Tommy!” She ran towards him. He raised his head, then his gun. He pushed Kate aside and fired the last shot into Billy Kimber’s head.

As Danny’s body was being dragged away, Kate and Arthur each grabbed a hold of Tommy’s arms.

“To the Garrison. Bring ‘im to the Garrison.” Arthur told her.

They got Tommy into the pub and into a chair. He was swaying slightly.

“Get his shirt off,” Arthur ordered Kate as he went behind the bar to get a bottle of whiskey.

“Just hang on,” Kate said quietly to Tommy and crouched down in front of him. She wrestled off his coat and began to unbutton his shirt, ignoring the blood seeping through the material.

Jeremiah hurried into the Garrison and examined the bullet lodged in Tommy’s chest. He doused a knife in the whiskey that Arthur brought over. “Alright, hold him down.”

Kate looked to the eldest Shelby who nodded. They both grabbed one of Tommy’s arm. She knelt down beside the chair and braced herself.

As Jeremiah began to try and dislodge the bullet, Tommy jerked back. Kate did her best to hold her own against him, not realizing how strong he actually was. Without Arthur there, there would’ve been no chance she’d have been able to keep him still.

A few agonizing shouts of pain later, Jeremiah removed the bullet and held it up triumphantly. “I’ve still got the knack.”

Kate released her hold on Tommy and stood up. She took a few deep breaths and ran a hand through her hair. The day’s events hadn’t been easy on her. For one thing, she didn't expect to be drawn into the Shelbys’ chaos. But she also didn’t expect the strong feelings she had for people around her. The disbelief when she realized Grace, who she considered a friend, had betrayed Tommy. How Kate was willing to kill to protect Ada and Karl. The fear she felt when she saw the blood on Tommy’s hands.

It was difficult to swallow. Emotional connections brought her nothing but trouble. She didn’t anticipate it and now that she realized it, it almost felt too late to undo.

Kate was all too happy to get drunk and the boys at the Garrison gave her the perfect opportunity. After Danny’s body was loaded out in the truck, the rest of the gang took advantage of the pub’s well-stocked liquor shelves.

“Then what’s next for you then, America? Aye?” John asked, jostling Kate by the shoulders.

She giggled and shook him off. “I dunno, why don’t you ask your brother.”

“Which one?” He slurred and tipped forward in his bar stool.

“Tommy.” Kate sighed and finished her vodka. “If he wants my advice on the American gangs, I’ll be here. But I’m afraid I’ve got more than a few people who’d like to interrupt that.” Once the frenzy and violence of the day had worn off, she couldn’t help but let Santo’s letter resurface in her brain.

“Pft, who’s gonna hurt you, huh, who’s gonna hurt you when you’re protected by the Peaky Fucking Blinders?” John crowed.

The rest of the pub cheered along with him.

Kate laughed and accepted another drink but her smile faded quickly.

As the night wore on and men staggered out of the pub and left just Kate, Arthur, John and Polly.

Kate was laid back in one of the booths across from John and Arthur. She drunkenly regaled them with a tale of seducing an Austrian duke and swindling him out of a good sum of his inheritance.

“That’s what you’re tryna do to Tommy then?” Arthur joked.

She snorted. “Tommy’s not stupid. I like stupid men, they’re easy to take from.”

John and Arthur laughed. “Cheers, love, cheers.” The oldest raised his glass to her.

The door to the bar opened and Tommy walked in. Kate propped herself up on her elbows to watch him go in and talk to Polly. She was a bit too drunk to follow their conversation.

But his voice got easier to hear as he walked over with a bottle of champagne. “Shelby Brothers Limited are now the third-largest, legal race track operation in the country.” He clinked the bottle to each of his brother’s glasses. “Only the Sabinis and the Solomons are bigger than us, boys.”

“Who are they? The Sabinis and the Solomons?” Kate wondered and pushed her empty glass toward Tommy.

He popped the cork of the champagne and poured some for her.

“The Solomons, Alfie Solomons.” Arthur drawled on. “The Jews in Camden Town. ‘N Sabini. They’re Italians.”

Even in her alcohol-fueled haze, Kate bristled. “Fuck.” She muttered under her breath and glanced up at Tommy.

“Third largest operation, Kate.” He said to her. “No one’s going to fucking mess with us now.” He offered a hand to her. “C’mon, I’ll walk you home.”

Tommy escorted Kate down the darkened streets of Small Heath, her arm over his. Only to keep her steady on her feet.

“You weren’t there celebrating with us. Are we not fun to you?” She stuck out her lower lip. “I beat John in a drinking contest, you weren’t even there to cheer me on.”

Tommy chuckled. “I’m sure you’re plenty of fun. Americans know how to party don’t they?”

“When you know the right speakeasy.” She agreed. “Where were you?”

“Settling business.”

“You went to see Grace, didn’t you?”

Tommy raised an eyebrow. Even drunk, she was perceptive. “Perhaps.”

“Hm…you love her still. Ooh, oh fuck.” She stumbled a bit on the curb but he held her upright. “Thank you. So, where’s she going to go now? I imagine she can't stay anywhere near here after what she's done." 

“It’s not important.”

“Ha, bullshit.” She replied with an eye-roll. “S’important to you.”

Tommy walked her up to her front stoop, making sure she didn’t faceplant up the steps. “You don’t have to worry about her anymore.”

“I wasn’t ever worried about her. I was worried about you.” Kate opened up her purse and fumbled around for her key.

“Me?” Tommy took another drink of the champagne bottle still in his hand.

“Men like you don’t fall in love easily. But when you-oh Christ, where is that fucking thing-when you do fall in love you tend to be blinded by it.” Kate finally retrieved her key.

“So, what do you reckon I ought to do?” He asked. "Seems you've got the answers." 

She tried the lock a few times but couldn’t seem to get the key in the keyhole. “I like Grace. She’s smart. Reminds me a bit of myself, but she loves the same way you do. Blindly.”

Tommy took the key from her and opened the door of her flat. “So, what, you manipulate men? Learn their secrets? Betray them?”

Kate shrugged. “I don’t fall in love with the men I do it to, though. That’s the difference between Grace and I. Goodnight, Tommy.” She stepped inside and shut the door behind her.


	12. Chapter 12

Kate whistled to herself as she walked a pile of papers into Tommy’s office. The new building was quite the step up for the Shelbys and even Kate had to admire their tenacity. Some gangs were satisfied with maintaining their areas. Maybe a couple of streets or a borough. Not Tommy Shelby. He wanted the world.

The two years since Kate had arrived in Birmingham with the Shelby boys had been strange. The woman was so used to upheavals and always glancing over her shoulder. After receiving the letter from Santo, she assumed that would be the course for the rest of her life. She didn’t expect to be in Birmingham for long. Not after Black Star Day, not after Grace’s betrayal.

But she just never left. For the first year, Kate asked Tommy for protection. She didn’t know who in Britain was under Santo’s control. Hell, she didn’t even know where the man was. He could’ve been down the street. What she did know, was that he had her location. That was what was perplexing that first year. Every time she opened the door, Kate expected Santo to be standing there waiting for her. Yet, he never showed.

By the second year, it became a bit more transparent why he wasn’t making a move yet. After the death of Billy Kimber word about the Peaky Blinders got louder. How could a small Brummie game overthrow such a powerful man?

There was no clear answer. The news simply was, Tommy Shelby was not a man to take lightly. The word reached London quick, and no doubt spread through the various gangs, including the Italians. Ones who most likely had some connection to Santo and his men in America.

Tommy Shelby was dangerous and quick to defend his territory as well as go on the offense. And he was standing right in front of Kate.

By year two with the Shelbys, Kate found her stride in Birmingham. She helped Tommy arrange deals with Americans who would buy smuggled goods. It gave Kate significant creditability when that extra cash began to roll in. After Grace, no in the Shelby family was quick to trust outsiders. Kate was no exception, but over time she made strides in proving herself.

Still, she wasn’t a part of the Peaky Blinders or the family. Her role in the business was limited and highly scrutinized by Tommy and Polly. It didn’t bother Kate, in fact, she expected it. If anything, she was just grateful for the protection. Not only did it keep her safe, but it allowed her to stay in Birmingham for much longer than expected. She found a home there, settling into the soot-covered city. She didn’t look over her shoulder anymore.

Heavy footsteps entered the office. Kate turned to see Tommy coming in. “I have contracts.” She informed him. He didn’t answer, instead, he passed by her and slumped down into his chair. She lingered by the desk, taking in his harried appearance. His hair was tousled and his clothes looked a little disheveled. “Are you alright?”

“The Garrison blew up this morning.” He responded.

“Blew up?” She looked bewildered. “Like…exploded? How?”

“I’m handling it.” He picked up the contracts but didn’t seem to really be reading the words.

Kate sucked at her teeth and nodded. “Alright.” She knew it made no difference whether she said anything on the matter or not. Tommy wouldn’t disclose anything to her. He’d learned his lesson when it came to telling pretty women secrets. “Do you need me for anything?”

He set the contracts down. “What do Jews speak?”

“Jews? Well…depends on where they’re from I suppose. Yiddish, maybe.” She shrugged.

“Do you speak it?”

“No. Although I think it’s close to German.” She mused. “Why?”

Tommy cleared his throat and stood back up from his desk. “I’ll be out of the office tonight and tomorrow.” He skirted her question.

“Where are you going? If I’m allowed to ask.”

“London. Keep me calls when I’m gone. Just send them Polly’s way.” He retrieved his hat.

“I’m not your secretary,” Kate replied sharply.

“That’s right, you’re not. I’m looking for one but, in the meantime, you can answer some calls.”

She rolled her eyes. “Fine. Go off and have fun in London. Don’t get yourself in trouble.”

“You know, every so often Tommy disappears from the office.” Kate was at the betting shop helping out Esme and Polly while the boys were on ‘holiday’. It was a busy day and Polly enlisted her help. After a tasking day, evening was finally upon them so the women were left to count coins. “And he comes back smelling of women’s perfume. Which is funny because I thought he’d sworn off women after…well.” There was a silent understanding that Grace’s name wouldn’t be brought up ever again. Not after what she’d done to the family, especially Tommy.

“Bet it’s that Lizzie Stark,” Polly said.

“So now he’s ready to get his heart broke again?”

Esme just snickered and shook her head as Polly looked bemused. “She’s a whore, Kate, Tommy’s not in love with her.”

“I’ve known plenty of men who have fallen in love with whores.” She replied. “They’re so blinded by lust that they don’t notice when their wallet’s gone missing.”

The women shared a chuckle. “I honestly don’t know how you put up with him sometimes.” Kate sighed. Her mind was starting to feel numb after counting all day. “He’s trying to do a million things at once all on his own. Never wants help. Just wants to conquer the world. I’d say he was foolish but he’s too smart for his own good.”

“He’s a gypsy boy at heart.” Polly kicked up her feet and paused for a smoke. “Untamed, fearless, and never stays down when he’s beat.”

Kate let a few coins fall to the table with a clink. “Then maybe he is ready to conquer the world.” 

But perhaps the world wasn’t ready to be conquered. Esme called Kate saying Tommy had been jumped and Ada had been attacked as well. It was bad and doctors said he’d have to stay in the hospital for at least a month. According to Esme, Tommy had told the family to just stay put. 

So, Kate remained home for the time being. She waited by the phone but didn’t get any more calls. It was maddening trying to go about her day without worrying over the state of Tommy. And what did it mean for the rest of the family? The rest of the company? The attack was enough for her to keep her doors and windows locked. All she had to do was wait for word. 

That night, Kate was woken up by banging on her door. Bewildered and half-asleep, she turned on the lamp to see what the clock on the wall read.

“Midnight?” She gasped in frustration. “Better be a god damn good reason.” She snatched her gun from the nightstand drawer and wrapped herself up in a robe before going downstairs.

She paused and cocked her gun. “Who is it?” She called. 

“It’s Tommy.”

Afraid she was stuck in some sort of hyper-realistic dream, she hesitated. “Where did we meet?”

“For fuck’s sake…the Moulin Rouge!” He answered with an exasperated grunt.

Satisfied, Kate tucked away her gun and opened the door. “What on Earth are you doing here? I thought you were in the hospital!”

Tommy was slumped against the door jamb. His coat and hat covered him well enough that she couldn’t see what condition he was in. But his slurred words and posture was enough of a tell. “Need you to come with me.”

“Where?”

“Down to the Yard. I’ll explain once we’re on our way.”

“Tommy, you need to be in a hospital.” She insisted.

“Just do as I say. Go get dressed.”

Kate debated calling Polly and getting him back into the hospital. But she could hear fear behind his weak voice. So, she helped him sit down inside while she went to get changed.


	13. Chapter 13

Kate did her best to support Tommy on their walk to the Yard. The sky was clouded so there wasn’t much light to go on. They were slow-moving with Kate trying to keep him upright and to make sure he didn’t fall or misstep on the uneven streets.

When they made it, Tommy opened the gate and staggered through the entrance. “Curly!” He called hoarsely. “Get that stuff for when their legs go lame.”

“Tommy?” Charlie looked aghast at the sight of his nephew. “They said you’d be in for another three weeks.” He pulled up a chair.

“I need to get on a boat to London, now.”

Kate frowned. “Tommy, you didn’t say anything about London. You need medical attention!”

“The lass is right, Tom, you’re burning up.” Charlie agreed.

Tommy just shook his head, the motion throwing him a bit off balance. “I need to sleep in the open air. Do you have a boat here?”

Kate ran a hand through her uncombed hair. She glanced behind her to where the gate was ajar. She could just go back home, get under the covers, leave Tommy to his own work. If he wanted to be a lunatic, he could do it on his own. But abandoning him didn’t feel right.

Coughing from Tommy brought her back to the conversation. “If I sleep all the way, it’s Camden Town we’re headed for.”

Kate helped him stand up. “Why are we going there?”

But he wasn’t ready to explain anything quite yet. “Tell Polly she’s in charge while I’m away. If I don’t come back, tell her she’s in charge for good.”

It stunk of canvas and cigars under the covered boat. But Kate knew she had to watch Tommy. He slept for a good deal of the trip, only stirring every so often when the boat rocked violently.

In the faint candlelight, she could finally take in his injuries. Nearly his entire face was swollen from the beating he’d taken. The way he slept too made it evident that he was sporting at least a few broken ribs.

Kate didn’t have much of a nurturing background but she felt she could at least get Tommy to last the few days it would take to get to London. She kept a cold cloth on his face to try and help his fever. Every few hours she tried to get him to wake for a drink of water. He was mostly incoherent until they were two days in.

He began to sit up for longer periods of time and could hold a better conversation with Kate. More than just mumbles and groans of pain.

“Here.” Kate handed him his cigarettes. “Halfway there, ‘least that’s what Curly says.”

“Thank you.” He replied quietly.

“So, can I finally know why I’m on a boat headed for London?” She sat down near him.

Tommy struck up a match and took a few puffs of his cigarette before answering. “Alfie Solomons.”

Kate recalled the Shelby boys telling her that name a long time ago. “He’s a bookie.” She remembered.

He nodded. “Ready to do business with him.”

“And why do you need me to come along?” None of it made much sense to her.

“He’s not just a bookie. He makes rum as well, so I’ve heard. And you know a bit more about the American market. Things he might be interested in knowing.”

“So, you want me to help you help him smuggle rum into the states?” She connected the dots. “And this couldn’t wait until you were healed?”

Tommy shook his head. “I’ve got men after me. After our trip to London, we’ve stirred the pot.”

Kate just sighed and shook her head with a smile. “I had a feeling you would. But I’m not one to tell you, ‘I told you so’.”

“That’s why I like you.” He paused to take a couple more drags of his cigarette. “So, you’ll help me?”

“Yeah, that’s why I’m here, isn’t it?” She stood up, or at least as most as she could inside the boat, and grabbed a cloth. “Will you let me clean your cuts?”

“Best they don’t get infected.” Tommy lowered his cigarette and let her start to dab at the cuts on his face. “Fever’s going down so is the swelling in your eye.” She observed. “It’s full of blood though.” It was unsettling to see blood pooling around the striking color of his blue iris. “You just need to be careful.” She checked the cut on his cheek. “This is the deepest one.” She remarked.

“Will it scar?”

“Most likely. It might fade over time if you leave it alone.” Kate had her experience with scars over the years. Most of them she hid cleverly with clothes or makeup. But bare in front of the mirror, she looked like she’d been to war. She went back over to wash the blood from the cloth. “Are you hungry?”

“No,” Tommy grunted as he laid back down. “Not yet.”

“Get some sleep then.”

“Tommy!” Curly called from the helm of the ship. “We’re in Camden Town now!”

Kate emerged from beneath the canvas with Tommy behind her. She smelled the smoke and soot that was common to London. Birmingham was bleak but London was teeming with ill will. She could feel it in the air.

The second they docked; men were there to question them. Tommy explained they were there to see Alfie Solomons. The men, all wearing hats or yarmulke ushered them to a large warehouse building. People were going in and out, busy with shipments. 

At the front doors, Kate and Tommy were greeted by a young man with curly hair. He instantly went about patting Tommy down to check him for weapons. 

He glanced at Kate but she simply crossed her arms over her chest. “I wouldn’t even ask if I were you.” She warned.

“Put ‘em down, Ollie.” A rough voice came booming down the hall.

Kate glanced around Ollie to see a broad-shouldered man heading towards him. He certainly didn’t look the part of a large gang boss. Wearing a simple, disheveled linen shirt, vest, and an apron around his waist, Alfie Solomons looked like a common worker at first glance. But Kate had learned from her time as a courtesan to look beyond clothing. She’d been taught by some wise women that anyone could dress the part of a gentleman. The real money and the real identity were down to the details.

Alfie wore rings on nearly every single finger. He had a gold bracelet on his wrist. A gold pocket watch was attached to his waist. Glasses hung from his neck on a chain that looked like pure silver.

Wealth aside, he had the tells of a very dangerous man. Tattoos inked both of his hands. A large scar ran down his right cheek. He carried himself like a soldier. Just as Tommy did. 

“You always bring women along to meetings with you?” Alfie raised an eyebrow. 

“Miss Rosseau’s a part of me company and I think her knowledge could be very useful to you, Mr. Solomons,” Tommy replied. “I think you’ll see that she’s not any ordinary woman.”

Mildly interested Alfie nodded and beckoned them over. “Want to take a look at my bakery? We bake all sorts. We bake the brown bread, the white bread.”

Kate took stock of what they were dealing with. Beyond Alfie’s strength on the tracks, the distillery wasn’t anything to snub. The warehouse was stocked full of barrels but she had a feeling production could increase if the market allowed them to. Tommy was right, Alfie’s rum could be ready to ship out to America any moment.

“Try some bread, love?” Alfie redirected Kate’s attention to a table with bottles.

“I’ll have the white.” She agreed.

“Ah, see there. There’s a woman who knows her booze, aye?” He chuckled and handed her the glass. “C’mon then.” He continued them on to his office.

Kate didn’t want to make it too obvious that she was worried about Tommy’s health as they sat down in front of Alfie’s desk. He was in a much better condition but he was still limping and she could tell his ribs were bothering him. Still, she knew he needed to maintain a strong image in front of the Camden Town boss. So, she tried to ignore it.

“Well.” Alfie sat down. “I’ve heard very bad, bad, _bad_, things ‘bout you Birmingham people. Aye?” He tutted. “And you, love, don’t know where you fucking came from with that accent, right, but you’re hanging ‘round with them, ain’t ya? You a gypsy like him then? They have gypsies in America?”

Tommy spoke before Kate had the chance. “Kate and I came to discuss business with you, Mr. Solomons.”

Something changed in Alfie’s expression. His brow furrowed and his sea-colored eyes flicked to her. “Kate, is it?”

She nodded. “Yes.”

“Funny, that is. Yeah…I’ve got ears everywhere in London, right? I hear things. Things I need, things I don’t. Don’t fucking matter, I remember every bit of it. Just in case, think that’s savvy, innit?” Alfie ran a hand over his beard as if he were pondering something deeply. “And there’ve been rumors, whispers ‘bout a man from America. An Italian who’s looking for someone.”

Kate’s blood ran cold and she fought the instinct to run. Unsure if it was a trap, she subtly glanced to Tommy. He seemed a little uneasy by where the conversation was going too. But he touched her chair as a gesture of assurance.

“Pretty blonde woman named Kate Lynch. Should be living in Birmingham. Says she’s American by birth.” Alfie continued.

She smiled at him. “My last name isn’t Lynch, Mr. Solomons.”

“Oh, but we can all change our names. Can’t we? To, er I dunno, avoid coppers, debts, jilted lovers, aye?” Alfie’s eyes narrowed. “So, what was it then? You leave ‘im at the altar? Ran away with his kid? Ran away with another man?”

“I think she’s unsure of what you’re talking about, Mr. Solomons.” Tommy stepped in.

“Well, see the thing is, you walk into me office, right, with a woman who’s wanted by Italians.” Alfie retorted firmly.

“She’s got ties to the American markets. Men who would be interested in your rum.”

Alfie fiddled with the handle of one of his drawers. “So that’s what you’re tryna sell me then?”

“My services could be offered to help smuggle your rum anywhere you’d like. I propose we join forces.”

“Fuck off.” Alfie rolled his eyes and leaned back in his desk chair. “No! Fucking ridiculous.” 

“Mr. Solomons.” Tommy leaned forward. Kate noticed him wince. “Your distillery provides one-tenth of your income. Protection is another ten percent, the rest is from the tracks. I’m offering you two solutions. You expand your market to America with your rum with the help of Miss Rosseau. I’d help with that as well. Me other solution deals with your biggest problem.”

Alfie glared back at Tommy. The man continued to glance at the drawer to his right. The movements were making Kate uneasy and she subtly moved her hand into her purse, wrapping her fingers around her pistol.

Tommy continued. “I know you offer a deal or death. But Mr. Sabini is running all your bookies off your courses and closing down premises that take your rum. No one trusts your protection anymore.”

Alfie pointed at him. “You’re the bloke who shot Billy Kimber, right?” He diverted the conversation. “You did, you fucking betrayed him, mate. So it would be entirely appropriate to do what I’m thinking in me head right now.”

That was an open threat to Kate and she tensed up.

Tommy wasn’t swayed. “I can offer you a hundred armed men and a new relationship with the police.”

“Intelligence,” Alfie ignored him. “Is a very valuable thing, innit? Usually, it comes far too fucking late.” He shifted his left hand down and whipped out a gun.

Kate reacted before Tommy could even breathe. She took out her gun and pointed it back at Alfie. Her heart was beating in her chest but her hand was steady.

It wasn’t clear on Alfie’s face whether he was expecting her to be armed or not. But he didn’t back down either. “So, she’s just your purse for weapons, is she, mate? Men don’t want to frisk a woman so you give her a gun.”

“I’m not an object,” Kate replied through her teeth. “I’m just smart enough to know when I need a gun.”

Alfie’s mustache twitched and he cocked the gun. “See, I could’ve already shot him. Right in the fucking head. Then what? You’d shoot me, aye? You’re really that loyal to ‘im already? What happens after that? Me men come in, maybe they shoot you. Maybe they take you and hand you over to the Italians. I know who you are. You’ve got an American mobster after you and who knows how much he’ll pay to have you returned.”

“I won’t be sold to anyone.” She hissed and cocked her gun in response.

Alfie just let out a chuckle and set his gun down. “You’d give me men hell, wouldn’t you? You wouldn’t make it out alive, granted, but you’d try to kill anyone in your path.”

Kate slowly lowered her gun but kept it near. She looked at Tommy and saw that his nose had started to bleed. She reached into her purse for a handkerchief and gave it to him. She cleared her throat and looked back at Alfie. “If Italians are looking for me, so be it. They’ve been hunting me down for years, they won’t succeed. But for you, Mr. Solomons. What’s a bigger way to say fuck you than to work with someone they’ve been unable to get for so long? I have contacts in America, bootleggers, police, bosses. No one in the operation will be caught. No one will interfere with it. I don’t need a big cut of the money. The majority of it can go to you and Tommy. The only thing I ask for is protection. Contrary to what Tommy says, I trust your protection.”

Alfie studied her, stroking his beard. “So, you’d trust that I wouldn’t sell you out.”

Kate didn’t flinch, keeping her eyes right on him. “Every man who has tried is dead now.” She replied coolly. “So, I suppose that’s your decision.” 

The Jewish man chuckled. “Draw up a contract then, Mr. Shelby. Include Miss Rosseau in it and we’ll discuss matters further.” He reached over to shake Tommy’s hand.


	14. Chapter 14

“Hello, Lizzie.” Kate tugged off her gloves and hat as she walked into the office.

The pretty brunette looked up from the typewriter. “You’ve been gone for a few days.” She noted.

“Yes, well, Tommy showed up to my flat in the middle of the night to take me on a four-day cruise.” She snorted. “Unfortunately, it was in a canal and the destination was London.”

Lizzie smiled and handed her a few envelopes. “Well, these came for you while you were gone.”

While working at the office together, the two women had struck up a bit of a friendship. Both being working women, former and present, they had a deeper understanding of each other. But Kate didn’t trust her. She’d learned from her time with Grace. A nice woman who was willing to listen to her talk wasn’t someone to automatically be trusted. It was something Kate realized she might’ve learned a bit too late. After all, she’d learned not to trust men a long time ago. She should’ve realized women could be just as dangerous. She wasn’t the only one with secrets.

“Thank you.” Kate took the small pile of mail and began opening and sorting through them by Lizzie’s desk. “How’s your class going?”

“Good.” The other woman perked up. She loved talking about the typing class she was taking and Kate loved seeing the pride in her eyes. Someone who had, for so long, known nothing but working the streets of Birmingham. Now she was educating herself, looking toward a brighter future. “I’m learning shorthand.” 

“Is that difficult? I don’t know much about it but I…” Kate’s voice trailed off as she skimmed through one of the letters.

Lizzie’s brow creased. “Everything alright?” She asked when the conversation abruptly stopped.

“Yes, I’m sorry, I just need to-well I-” She looked around the room as if it were spinning. “I’m going to read this in Tommy’s office.” She excused herself quickly and shut the door behind her for some privacy. Setting the other letters aside, she read through what had stopped her in her tracks. It was written in French and the handwriting was hurried but not careless.

_Dear Kate, _

_ I hope this finds you. I am in fear of your life. A man came to the cabaret last night with your picture. He wanted to know who smuggled you out of France and into Britain. _

_ No one said much to him but he threatened our lives. All of his men had guns. Gabrielle felt she had no choice. She told him about the Peaky Blinders. _

_ I think he is coming after you and I do not think he has good intentions. _

It was dated and signed by a woman who danced with Kate at the Moulin Rouge.

She felt beyond sick to her stomach trying to process what was happening. It was one thing to get a vague letter from Santo. But this letter changed everything.

Kate jumped when the doors to the office opened suddenly.

Tommy stood in the entryway with a frown. “What are you doing in here?”

“I-I was reading a letter.” She held it out to him. “Tommy, Santo is in France, he was asking about me and about you.”

He took the letter but realized quickly it was no use to him. “I don’t speak French.” He replied.

“Well, I’m telling you.” She followed him to his desk. “I’m telling you that he’s tracking me down.”

“He already knew where you lived.” He pointed out. “Why is this different?”

His lack of concern was aggravating to Kate. “Because he’s tracing my trail. He threatened people, he’s trying to make anyone who helped me pay!” She snapped. “And eventually he’s going to find his way here and do the same to you.”

Despite having the shit kicked out him only days before, Tommy didn’t appear too perturbed. “Let him come.”

“Let him come.” She threw her hands up in disbelief. “Are you fucking serious? Tommy, you don’t understand-”

“I need to write a letter.” Tommy gestured to the door with a dismissive hand.

Kate wrinkled her nose in distaste. “Fine, don’t say I didn’t warn you though.” She snarled and left with a huff.

Lizzie didn’t want to go to the reopening of the Garrison alone and she made it very clear to Kate. She was so relentless, in fact that she showed up to Kate’s flat to convince her to go.

“It’ll be fun, we’ll have fun!” Lizzie promised as she pushed her way into the flat, shooing Kate upstairs to get ready.

“I’m sorry, but that pub is an open target and I…” Kate didn’t want to get too far into the details, the trust still wasn’t there with her newfound work friend.

“Tommy’s dealt with it all,” Lizzie assured her. “Come on, go and change, I don’t want to miss anything!” She exclaimed. “And I’m not leaving without you.”

Kate sighed and chuckled. “Alright, just for a couple of drinks.” She prefaced before heading into her room to don a more appropriate dress.

She stuck to her guns and nursed the same gin for quite some time before accepting a second one. By then the celebration was in full swing and had become quite rowdy. Even though the Garrison had been renovated into a gilded palace, it still held the same wild Brummies. A new coat of paint, few embellishments, and sparkling lights couldn’t change the true nature of something. Kate knew that all too well.

Kate hadn’t noticed Tommy come in until she saw him speaking with Arthur behind the bar. Their eyes met and he finished speaking into Arthur’s ear. He nodded to her and pointed to one of the back rooms.

“I’ll be back,” Kate told Lizzie, picking up her drink to bring with her. She shimmied through the thick crowd to where Tommy was headed.

He let her inside and closed the door behind her.

“I didn’t think you had anything else to say to me after this morning,” Kate mumbled but let him pull out a chair for her.

Tommy didn’t respond, he just pulled out a box of matches and an envelope. “Give it here, then.”

“Give what?”

“The letter.”

“Tommy, this is serious and you should-”

He pinched the envelope between his thumb and forefinger. “This is from Grace. From America. New York.

“I didn’t know you two were still talking.” Kate looked a bit perplexed. She assumed men like Tommy, when scorned or betrayed, cut ties with the party involved. But love was love.

“This is all I have.” He responded and struck up a match.

Catching his drift, she grabbed his arm. “You’re not even going to open it?”

“No.” He allowed the small flame to touch the corner of the cream-colored envelope. The fire licking up the length, encasing the dainty handwriting addressed to Tommy and burning the unread letter.

“And you’ll never wonder?” She asked in disbelief.

“There are things you need to close the door on, Kate.” He replied. “Before you don’t have control over it.”

“That’s the key with you, Thomas. Control.”

“The letter?”

Pursing her lips, Kate produced the letter from her purse. She’d been holding onto it all day, carrying it around like a ten-pound burden. “I know what it says though.” She pointed out. “You can’t burn that out.”

Tommy still set fire to the letter, letting it smolder to ash in the candle holder beside the ashes of Grace’s letter. “That’s what alcohol is for.”

She snorted and shook her head. “Is that all you brought me in here for?” She asked.

“What do you know ‘bout horses?” He wondered and discarded the spent match, digging the charred head into the smoking remnants of paper.

“I know they have four legs and can make a lot of money. Aside from that, I think I know very little compared to you, gypsy boy.” She replied.

“Then you’ll stay in London for the time being.” He concluded.

“Pardon? Who said I was going to London?”

“We’re confirming the contract with Alfie Solomons. I’ll be sending me men there very soon.”

She shook her head, not pleased with the idea of trudging all the way back to London. “And? That has nothing to do with me.”

“I disagree. Mr. Solomons will need your expertise when it comes to the American market.” He withdrew a cigarette and lit another match.

“That’s what telephones are for,” Kate replied through clenched teeth.

“Santo knows you’re in Birmingham. Doesn’t know anything about London, does he?”

She scoffed. “So now you’re worried about that?” She demanded. “Ridiculous, Tommy, absolutely ridiculous. I don’t know what will put the fear of God in you, I really don’t.” Kate slammed back her gin and stood up. But she decided she wasn’t done. She jabbed a finger at him. “You need to realize that there are men out there who are stronger and hold more pull than you.”

Tommy just shrugged with a nonchalant expression on his face. “Haven’t met one yet.”

Kate just made a noise of disbelief and left the room muttering something about men’s egos.

“Ya know, when Thomas came in with you, I assumed you were just a whore that he’d brought for the fun of it. Thought he might get off on something like that.”

Kate raised an eyebrow in amusement at the Jewish man across the desk from her. She had arrived in London that morning with Tommy and the drove of men who were forming the brigade. Unlike last time, Alfie was there to meet them, kindly escorting Kate arm in arm to the office. Almost like they were a gentleman and lady, not a known gangster and former prostitute. 

She’d given Tommy a smug look over her shoulder because of Alfie’s treatment. He simply looked amused with a head shake.

While Tommy was wrangling his men together, Kate sat down with Alfie in his office.

“He doesn’t have much of a heart left.” She replied with a tight smile. “But I appreciate it.”

“Nah, weren’t sayin’ you look like a whore. Not meant to be an insult.” Alfie waved the excuse with a hand.

“Well,” Kate tilted her head to the side. “I’ve worn many hats, Mr. Solomons. But I never preferred the term, whore. I always liked something a bit more refined.”

He laughed good-naturedly. “You’ll make good company in business, Miss Rosseau. Tommy is a pain in the arse, ain’t he? So, fucking serious, yeah, never takes a joke.”

“He has his moments. I think he cares about his people though.” She admitted.

“Feh.” Alfie rolled his eyes and handed her the contract drawn up after he’d signed it. In addition, he gave her a list of names and addresses. “Well, I’ve got to go meet the rabble. Like you to look over me current list of docks and people willing to smuggle stuff in. Add anything you’d like, ifya know any that are utter shit, just cross ‘em out. Don’t want to be wasting me time and money.”

“I can do that.” Kate nodded.

“Cyril’ll keep ya company. Be back in a mo’.”

After reviewing Alfie’s list of contacts and giving Cyril a good belly rub, Kate waited. And waited. And waited.

Bored and restless, she stepped out of the office and poked around a bit, looking for Alfie or Tommy. Some of Alfie’s men gave her curious looks but didn’t say anything. Probably on orders rather than their own will.

Kate made her way downstairs to the cellar where she heard some talking. She recognized Tommy’s voice and followed it to a larger room where men were lined up like a battalion.

“Haven’t seen any bread.” She heard the quip as she stepped into the room quietly.

None of the men seemed to notice her, they were all focused on Alfie as he stalked up to the older man who had made the joke. There was a heavy pause before the broad-shouldered gangster raised his cane with a strikingly fast motion and brought it down with untamable fury. Hitting the man right beside the jokester. 

The crack was unmistakable and the victim was knocked out cold by the sheer force Alfie inflicted on him.

“He’ll wake up, granted he won’t have any teeth left but he will be a wiser for it,” Alfie spoke with a frightening amount of restraint.

Kate knew that the scariest men were those who could control their anger. Those who lost control were weaker. They were violent and strong, yes, but a man without control was nothing. That’s why Tommy and Alfie were terrifying.

They’d controlled and fostered their anger. They had made acquaintances with their rage. Death was their friend.

“And the last thing he will remember is your funny little joke, won’t he?” Another long pause drew out. “Right!” Alfie shouted.

Kate did her best not to flinch, even though the sudden loud yell came seemingly out of nowhere. She wanted to show the men there that while they were probably terrified of Alfie, she sure as hell wasn’t. Mostly because she’d gotten on his good side early on. That was the trick, after all. Granted, she knew it was easier for women to do so, but it was still crucial.

“There are fucking rules here for a fucking reason. ‘N quite simply they have to be obeyed. Rule number one, the distinction between bread and rum is not discussed.” Alfie paced before the front line of men, disregarding the unconscious one still on the floor. “Number two, anything, right, that your superior officers says to you or any of your other fucking superior officers say to you, is not discussed!” His voice became a bit hoarse from shouting so loudly but it was effective. He turned and finally noticed Kate in the doorway. “Ah, yes, good reminder.” The volume of his voice lowered a bit as he pointed at her. “This young woman will be in and out of the bakery as she pleases. As far as I see it, she’s about ten ranks above you fucking pathetic numbskulls, yeah? So that means, yeah, she comes before you and you will treat her with respect. And I don’t care if she’s got nothing on, you will not talk to her, about her, you will not fucking look at her. If I hear you lot speaking a fucking word ‘bout her, I’ll rip your tongue out and feed it to me dog!”

The threat was enough to last because suddenly none of the men were looking anywhere near where Kate was standing.

“That goes for Jewish women as well. For the rest of your fucking miserable lives, you don’t go anywhere near Jewish women. They are off the menu for you fuckers.” He nodded and cleared his throat. “I think that’s fair.”

Kate held her chin a little higher. After being under the heel of men during her stint in France, it felt good to be back in control. Back to the woman that wasn’t called derogatory names or groped or grabbed. The woman who’s worth wasn’t measured was by her beauty. Back to the woman she was in the States. Back to being a dangerous woman. Roguish, even. 


	15. Chapter 15

“I tell you, Esme, he’s really something else. I mean fuck’s sake I’ve seen Jewish gangsters before but Alfie Solomons.” Kate let out a low whistle. “I’d have to have an army behind me if I ever wanted to cross him. Knocked a man out cold with one blow. I mean Jesus Christ, that has to be some sort of talent of his.”

Back in Birmingham, Kate was at the betting shop, alone with John’s wife who she got along well with. She was in the kitchen with the curtain open so she could talk to Esme while making something quick to eat for lunch.

That’s when she heard the door open and suddenly, she realized Esme was focused on something else.

“Es?” Kate walked out to see a well-dressed woman walking inside. The room suddenly became tense as the woman appeared out of her element and Esme was on guard. “Don’t think we’ve met.” She tried to break the discomfort in the air.

“May Carleton.” The woman greeted in a posh accent. “I have an appointment with Mr. Shelby.”

Kate subtly glanced at Esme who shook her head. “Here? He’s got an office, I mean. And it’s a lot nicer than this place.”

“Oh, yes, I asked for this address. He said he ran a gambling den and I-” May looked a little pink in the face. “I wanted to see one but I see now I’m early and I don’t know how to behave.”

“Well, it helps if you can hold your ground. Men ‘round here are a bit aggressive when it comes to placing bets.” Kate smiled and sat down.

Esme still seemed suspicious of the wealthy looking woman but curious all the same. “What do you do, then?” She went back to her daily tasks about the shop.

“Oh, I’m going to train Tommy’s horse for Epsom,” May answered as she took a look around the place.

Kate sat down with her snack. “So that’s why he was asking if I knew anything about horses.” She realized. “He got himself a horse and someone to train it.”

“You know horses?” May wondered.

“No, Esme does.”

John’s wife smiled and nodded. “Most gypsy girls do. We’re born riding horses.”

“There’s a fucking great Riley parked out there and nobody’s watching it!” John entered the shop loudly, as he usually did.

“That’s a nice car.” Kate gave May an impressed look. Apparently, her wealth wasn’t limited to just clothing. 

“John,” Esme stepped in before he made any plans on nicking the car while its owner was in the room.

“Hey!” Kate smacked his hand away as he tried to snatch her lunch instead. “Fuck off and go find Tommy, Miss Carleton here is looking for him.”

Speak of the devil and he shall appear. Tommy entered the shop through the kitchen. “Sorry I’m late. Take a look around?” He wondered.

“Because there’s just so much to see,” Kate mumbled. She couldn’t blame anyone for the monotonous surroundings. Small Heath wasn’t much to look at. Neither was London but at least Alfie Solomons kept Kate on her toes. Returning to Birmingham was like settling into a tepid bath. It was familiar but the same old thing. It didn’t help that she was back to the place where Santo knew she was.

Tommy ignored the comment. “So, you’ve come to get my girl, aye?”

“Yes.” May seemed a bit glad to get out of the betting shop.

“Kate, I’ll be needing a word with you once I return from speak with Miss Carleton.”

She brushed her hands off and stood up. “I can walk with you now. Unless Esme needs me here.”

“No, she’ll keep it locked up for now.” Tommy lit up a cigarette. “Walk with us.”

May seemed to take the hint and lagged behind so Tommy and Kate could converse in private on the way to the Yard.

“You got along easily with Alfie.”

Kate crossed her arms over her chest and shrugged. “I get along easily with a lot of people. It’s called being outgoing.” She replied deadpan.

“What I mean, is he seems to trust you.” Tommy reiterated to get his point across. He didn’t want to talk in circles with her, not when he was so busy.

“I don’t like where this is going, Tommy. You asked me to conduct business with the man, that’s what I’m doing. You asked me for contacts in America, that’s what I gave you. I wouldn’t double-cross that man for any sum. So, don’t even try bargaining with me.”

“Those words never came out me mouth, now did they?”

Kate rolled her eyes. “Oh, don’t play games with me. I know what you were hinting at.” She stopped walking to face him, making sure May wasn’t in earshot. “I know you like to play your pieces and strategize or whatever.” She jabbed a finger into his chest. “But you’re not putting me in those cross-fires. I spelled out what I’d do for protection. Getting myself killed seems to be counterintuitive.” 

Tommy cleared his throat and reached into the inside of his pocket. Inside an envelope was a train ticket and a roll of cash. “Go to London and pay him a visit. Don’t need to say anything, just discuss business as usual. If you notice something’s wrong, you bring that information back to me.”

Kate’s heart beat rapidly in her chest. It was obvious Tommy knew something she didn’t. “No, no fuck off. I’m not doing that.” She stepped away from him and pushed the envelope back into his hand.

“He requested a meeting, I said you’d go and see him.” He insisted.

“And why don’t you go?” She demanded. “You go and find out what you want to know.”

“I’m busy.”

“Busy.” She scoffed. “With what?”

Tommy sighed and glanced over his shoulder to May who was waiting patiently a few yards away.

Kate let out a sarcastic snort. “Oh, I see you’re too busy with the pretty horse trainer. And here I was thinking you had sworn off women for good.”

“For the Derby.” He clarified firmly. He didn’t want her going around toting off rumors that he was involved with May. Even if it was the intention, sort of.

Kate wrinkled her nose in disgust and snatched the envelope from his hand. “Don’t fucking understand what all this fuss is about this Derby. One horse race and Tommy Shelby is going to end up with a key to the world? Isn’t that easy.” She snapped before walking off with the ticket and money in hand.

“Y’know, I’ve always had an issues with Italians.”

Kate clicked her tongue as she tried to keep track of the numbers on the ledger in front of her instead of Alfie’s out of the blue comment. If Tommy hadn’t said anything about Alfie’s loyalty, then she would’ve gladly accepted the trip to London without a second thought. She enjoyed the man’s presence. He was interesting, to say the least.

“Is that right? Is it a preference? I knew many Jews in America who didn’t feel the same.”

“Call it experience.” Alfie idly cracked his knuckles over his cane. “You must have the same preference, then, that right?”

“I tend not to focus on ethnicities, Mr. Solomons.” Kate didn’t spare a moment to look up from the report he’d given her upon the start of the meeting.

“’Less they’re hunting you down.”

That made her set the ledger aside. She laced her fingers together and rested them on her knee. “I thought we had an understanding, Alfie. I like you and you like me. I don’t ask for a list of your enemies and you don’t ask about mine.”

Alfie ran a hand over his beard a few times as he studied her face. “See, thing is, Kate, if I do business with someone, I do like to know whether there’s any sort of, well, liabilities.”

It was like Tommy was there in spirit, pointing out all the little tells that something was wrong. Even in the roundabout way Alfie spoke, Kate could see he wasn’t being entirely honest. “Have you been speaking with Italians?” She asked in as casual of a manner she could muster.

“We don’t ask about each other’s enemies, yeah?” His right hand twitched.

“Would you like to talk about my enemies, Alfie?”

He held his arms out as if embracing her from across the desk. “I’ve got all the time in the world, love.”

That was enough of an answer for Kate. The answer that Tommy was right. There was something Alfie was planning behind the scenes. “His name is Santo Leoni, but I’m sure you already knew that. He’s from Boston. Runs everything on the Italian side, but you knew that as well. Something you might not know, Alfie,” She leaned forward. “but something I know and know very well. He leaves a trail of ash behind him. Everyone he wants dead, dies. He’s after me but he’s also after anyone I’ve been in contact with, anyone he thinks has been hiding me, helping me.”

Alfie wasn’t scared, obviously, in fact, he looked completely unbothered. “So that’s what you give the Shelbys then, yeah, in return for giving you a bit of work?” He asked. “You set them up to be burned, that right?”

“No.” Kate stood up and gathered her things. “Because I think they’re the only ones capable of taking him down.” Their eyes met for a moment, almost in an understanding. Alfie knew that she knew. And Kate knew that he had figured her out. “Good afternoon, Mr. Solomons.”

At the train station, Kate phoned the office. Lizzie answered immediately.

“Liz, I’ve got to speak to Tommy, it’s urgent.”

The secretary paused. “He’s left for Surrey. I could try to find the number for the address but I don’t know how long it’ll take.”

“Fuck, what on Earth is he doing in Surrey?” Kate threw her hand up in disbelief. The man was always on the move it was hard enough to pin him down when he was just in the office.

“Visiting the race horse for the derby,” Lizzie answered.

“Visiting the-for the love of-too busy for-” She held back a frustrated scream. “Too busy to attend meetings but he can fuck off to Surrey with that woman. Jesus Christ, I need to speak with him now.” She insisted.

“Arthur or John might be around, want me to get them?”

“No, no, I-I don’t know what Tommy’s told them.” Kate ran a hand over her face in frustration. She wasn’t enjoying all the secrecy and hushed plans. It made it difficult to know where she stood. “I’m coming back to Birmingham now. If he calls, you tell him that he was right about Alfie.”

“Right about…”

“Just say those words exactly, he’ll know what it means.” Kate hung up the phone to hurry off to board the train. “At least I hope he knows.” 


	16. Chapter 16

Kate was already furious. Even before she heard that Billy Kitchen had been murdered and Arthur had been locked up. She was angry with Alfie, angry with Tommy, with May, everyone who didn’t seem to be taking things seriously. Once she did get back to Birmingham and heard the news, she got even more worked up.

When Tommy entered the office, she flew into a rage. “You fucking-I should’ve known, I should’ve listened to my gut and told you to fuck off!” She stormed towards him while pointing a threatening finger at him. “You sent me to London to do something you already knew would happen. I can’t believe your nerve!”

“Kate…”

“Don’t even try to defend yourself. You can’t, your plan failed and you should be ashamed of yourself. I tried to warn you, to get to Arthur in time. But you were off fucking that horse trainer!”

“Oi!” Tommy cut her off from shouting at him. “Listen, because there are very specific things in place.”

“That’s what you said before. This big scheme of yours-”

He interrupted again. “Listen!” He snapped and glared at her. “Listen to me. It’s crucial everything goes to plan. You listen to me and everything will be fine.”

“I’m so sick of listening to you, I’m so sick of it!” She pushed his chest so he could be forced to move away from her. “Your brother is in jail because of you and you act like it’s some master plan.”

“Because it is!” He rose his voice again to speak over her. “We’re going back to London to speak with Alfie.”

“Oh, fuck off!” She spat and tried to side-step him so she could leave the office. She was through listening to his insane demands. All this time she’d thought he was so clever but maybe she’d been fooled the entire time. Maybe he really was just crazy.

He grabbed her upper arm to stop her. “Alfie made a deal with the Italians. That was in the plan. To have Arthur arrested and Alfie will get him released. Sabini will be none the wiser. Come Derby day, everything will be in place.”

Kate gritted her teeth. She wasn’t sure if he was just trying to cover his ass or he was really in control of everything. “I swear, Tommy, one of these days you’ll find someone who won’t bow to you and ruin everything in for you.”

“But not today.” He nodded slightly. “Not yet.”

She pulled her arm from his grip and went to sit down by his desk. “So, what have you got in store for me? I would like to know before you spring it on me.”

“Drink?” Tommy offered before he even tried to answer her question.

“It’s six in the morning.”

He blinked at her and shrugged.

“Fine. Just gin.” She relented. It would be easier to listen to him if she had a drink in her. Besides she was already sick to her stomach.

Tommy poured their drinks and got settled behind his desk. “I’m going to kill a man, at the derby today.”

Kate took a sip. “If you’re waiting for me to be surprised, I’m not. Keep going.”

“I’ve given a letter to Ada to send should I be killed. It exonerates you and anyone else involved.”

“Why are you risking your life?”

For a moment the question lingered in the open air before Tommy cleared his throat. “My hands are tied.”

“By who?”

“By the Crown.” He answered honestly. “And that’s all you need to know.”

Kate wrinkled her nose in distaste. “That’s all? Are you sure?”

He nodded and stood up after finishing his drink. “C’mon, we need to get a move on.”

Kate’s anger only flared up again when they arrived at the bakery. Alfie didn’t greet them this time. In fact, when they were let into his office, he hardly even looked up at them from his newspaper.

“Bet you both think you’re so fucking clever.” She muttered as she sat down with a disgruntled glare at both of the men. Crossing her arms over her chest, she frowned.

“What’s that, love?” Alfie still didn’t even throw a glance her way.

“I said you’re both fucking idiots!” She snapped.

“Kate…” Tommy sighed and kept his eyes on the telephone.

“No, I ought to-” The ringing of the phone interrupted her.

Alfie pointed at it with his pen. “That’ll be for you.”

Kate rolled her eyes at the blasé nature of both of the men in the room. She was angry that they were treating it like a game and they were the smartest players.

After Tommy had confirmed Arthur was out of prison over the phone, Alfie folded up his paper and dropped his feet from off the desk. “Right, clearing up your end of the bargain now.”

Tommy took the cue and pulled out papers to hand to him. “Signed by the minister of the Empire himself. You can put your rum in our shipments. Makes the job easier for you and Miss Rosseau.”

“Right, good, yeah.” Alfie set the permit aside and tipped his hat at it.” Ain’t gonna even look at that, I trust ya. Whiskey, then.” He opened the same drawer he’d been fiddling with the time before and pulled out the bottle again. “Whiskey, Kate?”

“I’ve been drinking since six o'clock, so why not?” She sighed and took the liquor as a peace offering from the man.

“However, it does say that twenty percent of your export business goes to me.” Alfie pressed his glasses to his nose to reread the papers.

Tommy paused. “That’s what we agreed on over the telephone.”

Kate sighed and realized they wouldn’t be drinking whiskey quite yet. So, she leaned back and crossed her ankles.

“Right, here though.” Alfie produced another paper. “I’ve had me lawyer draw this up, just in case.” He tapped the desk a few times. “It says a hundred percent goes to me, not that fucking twenty percent nonsense.”

Kate closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Alfie…”

Tommy just played it cool, exhaling cigarette smoke.” I see, that’s funny, that is.” He took another drag of smoke. “That I’d ever give you my entire business.”

Alfie was straight-faced. “What’s funny ‘bout that?”

“Why would I give you everything?”

“Just tear this up and go with the first contract, Alfie, it’s what you agreed with.” Kate spoke up.

“Now see,” Alfie waved a hand and Ollie pulled out a gun and cocked it. “you can agree to something on the telephone, right but it don’t mean that’s what I gotta agree to in person. Business face-to-face means more and it’s just more personal, innit?”

“For fuck’s sake.” Kate whispered.

“Yeah see, Ollie, they understand.” Alfie gently took the gun from his assistant as if he hadn’t been planning on having the man pull the weapon at all. “Now look, it’s just non-fucking-negotiable, right?” He began to get a bit more agitated. “So just sign the contract, with your pen.” He tapped the paper again.

“Right.” Tommy glanced over at Kate who looked alarmed. She had enough sense to know that he would rather get shot than sign over his entire export profits. And she figured Alfie would seriously shoot him. They were at an impasse. “I have an associate at the door, that right, Kate?”

Her eyes widened a bit. She hadn’t asked about James, not thinking much about him other than some extra protection.

“He’s an anarchist from Kentish Town.”

Alfie’s teal-colored eyes flicked to Kate but she didn’t say anything. “Tommy, I’m going to fucking shoot you.” He warned.

“On our way in, I stopped to tie me shoelace. Kate knows, Ollie knows. They were both there, they saw me.” Tommy continued, unperturbed by his threats. “While I was doing it, I laid a hand grenade. Mark fifteen with a wire trip.”

Kate’s heart faltered. “Are you fucking insane?” She hissed.

“My associate upstairs, he’s a professional. Good at what he does.” He went on in a cool tone. “Like those anarchists that blew up Wall Street, you read about that, Alfie?”

The only two people that really seemed uneasy were Kate and Ollie. Both of them were not in control of the situation, though both their lives were very clearly on the line.

“If I don’t walk out of here by the stroke of seven, he trips the grenade. Then, your very combustible rum blows us all to hell.”

“Tommy, you lunatic I-” Kate was about ready to strangle him.

Ollie began to twitch nervously. “Alfie, they’re not lying.”

The Jewish gangster sniffed and picked up the gun. “Right, Ollie, I want you to go out there and shoot their associate in the face.”

“I wouldn’t do that,” Tommy warned before the young man could go anywhere. “If I don’t walk out first, he trips the wire.”

“You’re lying.” Alfie snatched the gun from his assistant. “Both of you are lying.” 

“I had nothing to do with this.” If Kate was going to die, she was going to do it clearing her conscious at least on some matters. Others would just remain unresolved.

“Sixty-five.”

“No deal.”

Kate gritted her teeth. “Oh, just stop this pissing contest and figure it out before we’re all killed!” She snapped.

“Jesus Christ, Alfie, he tied his lace, it’s Tommy Shelby-”

Alfie stood up forcefully and whacked his assistant across the face. “You’re acting like a little boy. This is a man’s world. Take your fucking apron off and go sit in the corner like a child.” He hissed.

Tommy idly checked his watch, eliciting a glare from Alfie. “Four minutes.”

“Right, four minutes.” Alfie sat back down. “Talk to me ‘bout hand grenades.”

Kate was trying to keep her cool after Ollie erupted. But she knew if she herself through it, she would beat the living daylights out of Tommy. Should he give her the chance.

“The chalk mark on the barrel at knee height said Hamilton Christmas,” Tommy reported. He removed the pin from his pocket and tossed it into the unused crystal glasses on the desk.

Alfie fished the pin out of the glass and examined it. “Right, based on this. I’ll do…forty-five.”

“Thirty.”

Kate shut her eyes and was so close to counting down the seconds until she felt the barrels of rum explode around her.

“Oh, fuck off, Tommy, that’s far too little.” Alfie flicked the grenade pin to the side.

“If we could all resolve this before we get to hell, that would be fantastic.” Kate grumbled. “Your bickering will be enough to torture me.”

The corner of Tommy’s lips turned up in amusement and Alfie shook his head in disbelief. “Fuck me.” He sighed and leaned back in his chair. “I’ll give ya thirty-five percent.”

Tommy nodded. “Thirty-five.” He agreed and the two did a spit and shake to seal the deal.

Kate stood up and shook her head. “Men.” She rolled her eyes and exited the office, not willing to give either of them another second of her time.

“I oughta wring your neck. What made you think that was okay to do?” Kate demanded as they walked out of Alfie’s office. 

“You weren’t in any danger. Alfie was going to give in, he’s far too fond of you.” Tommy replied.

She scoffed. “You just love using me, don’t you?” She had to trot a few steps to keep up with his long stride.

He didn’t reply. Instead, he stopped walking and turned to face her. “You’re useful to me.”

“That’s all I am to you then, a pawn.” Although she didn’t mean to sound so hurt, she didn’t make an effort to take it back. 

“Is there something else you wanted to be?” There was a shift in his blue eyes. A sort of softening that was hard to ignore.

And for a moment, Kate didn’t want to ignore it. Then she realized where they were and who they were. “Fuck off.” She spat and walked away from him.

“I was just asking-”

“First with Grace then with that horse trainer. You need to stop assuming that every woman wants to jump in bed with you, Tommy Shelby!”

Tommy just smiled and shook his head, trotting a few steps to catch up with her before she got out the door.

Upon arriving at Epsom, Kate felt a little wary. Well, not just a little. Very wary. Tommy instructed her to stay in areas where there were a lot of people. To mingle and chat, act like she wasn’t involved in anything. Even if she was keeping a lookout. She had a knack for reading the room even when it appeared as though she was in deep conversation with someone. And she also had a charm for rubbing elbows with the rich and elite. She figured that's why Tommy was using her instead of making her stay in Small Heath. 

That’s how she noticed Grace before anyone else did. Of course, she was appalled. Tommy hadn’t told her that the two had seen each other. As far as Kate knew, she was still in America.

Horrified, Kate pushed through the throngs of wealthy derby-goers to get to the woman dressed in blush pink. “You have some nerve.”

Grace didn’t seem as surprised to see Kate there, but she was surprised by her approach. “Pardon?”

“After everything you’ve done, you think you can waltz in here?” She scoffed. “Outrageous.”

“I’m not here to fight with you,” Grace replied quietly. She didn’t want to call attention to either of them.

“I trusted you, Tommy trusted you. The whole time.” Kate shook her head. “I can’t believe you were working for the crown the whole time and never once thought you might need to mention that.”

Grace pursed her lips and looked over her shoulder. “I’m sorry I didn’t get to apologize.” She spoke in a hushed voice. “But Tommy and I have made amends. That’s why I’m here.” 

“Forgive me if I don’t believe a word that comes out of your mouth.” Kate’s mind was racing though. Tommy had been in contact with Grace and hadn’t told her? She knew that he kept things from her, but she always assumed it was purely about business. For a moment, she had believed they were closer. Perhaps it was delusional to think she could ever get close to a man like that.

“Have you seen him?” Grace asked. She didn’t need to be believed by Kate. She needed to be believed by Tommy.

“Even if I had, why would I tell you? So, you can break his heart again?”

Grace was anxious enough that she didn’t care for the way Kate was talking to her. “Because I’m pregnant!” She hissed in a hushed voice.

Kate stared at her, almost waiting for her to just smile and say she was kidding. Joking like they were friends again. But Grace was solemn-faced the entire pause between them. She swallowed and felt like she was shrinking a couple of inches. “Then you should tell him that yourself.” What else could she say? That was between Grace and Tommy. She wasn’t a part of any of it. She never had been. She was just a pawn. “I don’t know where he is right now.”

“I’m sorry.” Grace looked down, her hat obscuring her eyes for a moment. “I’m sorry for what I did. But I need to move on and I need to move on with him.”

Kate felt like she’d completely lost her voice. She just nodded, then shook her head, then made a hasty retreat. Why did she feel so lost? So stupid?

Once she found a quiet corner to herself, she sat down and concealed her tears from anyone passing by. After all this time, someone who had betrayed Tommy could come back into his life. After all this time, Kate was still the one in danger. Perhaps it was fitting. After all, Grace had fessed up to her offenses. Kate was still lying to everyone.

The entire day was a disaster. And as far as Kate could tell, she wasn’t sure who was more fucked. But after running into Grace, she took a step back from everything. Drank her mint juleps and chatted casually with those around her. How funny it was that she felt more at ease with the oblivious, wealthy strangers than the people she’d known for months. Miserable, but not exactly sure why Kate made her way outside to find out what the state of Tommy’s master plan was. She had heard fighting and someone had shouted that there was an assassin after the king, but not many people took it seriously. Far too many of them were too drunk to care. Kate, on the other hand, was told to trust Tommy’s plan. If she trusted nothing else, she had to trust his plan. What utter nonsense.

“Move, get out of the way!” A harsh voice called out and Kate was shoved to the side.

“Hey!” She snapped irritably before looking up to see who had pushed her. “Tommy?” Two men dressed in uniform were escorting Tommy across the grounds.

Tommy met eyes with her but didn’t say anything. He simply gave her a resigned nod.

“Excuse me, hey!” Kate ran after them but another uniformed man who had been following grabbed her by the arm.

“Move along, miss, this doesn’t concern you.” He ordered.

“Where are you taking him?” She demanded, trying to shake him off her.

“He’s under arrest.”

Now was this part of Tommy’s plan? He failed to mention anything about being arrested. When had he ever trusted the police to take care of something for him? “For what?” She pressed.

“Doesn’t concern you.” The man barked again. “Move along.” He let go of her arm but that only gave her the opportunity to follow Tommy to the truck.

“Get back!” One of the officers shouted.

“If you’re here to arrest them then you’ll have to arrest me too. I have a far longer track record than he has.” Kate lifted her chin and turned to the man that had grabbed her. “I’m wanted in America in two states.”

The three men eyed each other before the one in charge nodded. “Put them both in.” He ordered.

Kate stepped willingly into the trailer of the truck, sitting down across from Tommy. When he looked at her, she could tell the arrest was not in the plan. His right temple was streaked with blood and his jaw was tight.

The door of the trailer was shut and they began to drive away.


	17. Chapter 17

“Which states have warrants out for you?” The drive had been silent until Tommy asked the question that didn’t seem all too relevant given the circumstances.

Kate couldn’t see him very well. There was only some light coming in from dirty windows on the doors of the trailer. “Massachusetts and Illinois.” She answered.

“Boston and Chicago.” He surmised.

She only mumbled a yes in response. Tucking her hands in her lap, she tried to sit up straight enough to see anything out the filmy windows. But there wasn’t much to see except sunlight.

When the truck stopped, dread settled in Kate’s stomach. The whole thing seemed wrong. This hunch was confirmed when the doors opened and she saw they were parked in a field.

“You British sure have funny looking jailhouses.” She quipped if only to ease her own worries.

“C’mon.” One of the officers gestured with a gun.

Tommy stepped out first before offering a hand to help Kate down. She took it but felt his fingers tighten around hers. That’s because he noticed the grave dug before she did.

She saw it when she walked a couple of steps out into the barren field. Her chest tightened when she put two and two together. But she wasn’t going to drop to her knees and beg to be spared. No, Kathleen Lynch didn’t beg. Not when she was still armed.

Once her pistol was pulled from the holster on her thigh, all three men pointed their guns at her.

“I have men looking for me. Men who are more powerful than you.” She did her best to keep her voice even to portray fearlessness. But her hand was trembling slightly. “If you kill me or you send me back to America, they won’t be very happy. They like doing things themselves, don’t like it when others do it for them. If they find out, they’ll be coming for you next.”

“Put the gun down, grave’s not for you. S’for him.” The curly-haired man standing by the pre-dug grave said.

“You think I’m going to let you kill him?” She scoffed. “After everything, he’s done to protect me?” There was no telling whether it was the dust from the empty field making her eyes water, or she really was going to cry.

“Put the gun down and no harm will come to you.”

Kate didn’t listen. Instead, she looked to Tommy who appeared to be miles away. The faraway look in his blue eyes was startling. It was just another indication that he wasn’t in control anymore and this was not in his plan. He was seeing death again. An old acquaintance who he’d avoided for so long.

“Put it down, Kate.” He finally spoke. “S’alright.”

“No.” She tightened her grip on the pistol. “No, you said that if I listened to you everything would be okay. You said that it would work out. I’m not listening…I’m not.”

“Kate.” He asserted in a firmer voice.

She swallowed and felt a tear slip down her cheek. “What am I meant to do then?”

Tommy approached her and pulled the gun from her tight grip, emptying the bullets to the dirt below. There were only two loaded.

Her lower lip quivered. “So, I’m supposed to just let you die? Even though you kept me alive? Kept me safe? I’m supposed to live with that guilt for the rest of my life? Live with the debts I owe you?”

“You don’t owe me anything.” He replied. “I owe you so much more. But I can’t give it to you.”

“For fuck’s sake, Tommy.” She blinked rapidly to keep from crying. “You don’t know what they’ll do to me. They’ll turn me over to the Americans. I won’t have a fucking chance if they charge me and-”

“Polly’ll take care of it.” He soothed. “She takes care of everything.”

With a shuddering exhale, Kate pulled out her handkerchief and gently used it to clean the blood from his temple. “No one has ever offered me the sanctuary that you did. You mean so much more to me than you realize.”

Wordlessly, Tommy kissed her forehead and stepped away from her. “Don’t want her to watch.” He mumbled.

“Tom…” She reached for him, to grab onto anything. His shirt, the lapel of his coat, anything. But he slipped away from her like smoke.

“Turn.” The darker haired man ordered, pointing his gun at her.

Kate pinched her eyes shut and turned away. Her heart was beating in her ears as she whispered to herself. “There was a boy. A very strange enchanted boy.” Her voice hitched as she couldn’t help the tears from flowing freely down her cheeks. “They say he wandered very far, very far. Over land and sea. A little shy and sad of eye, but very wise w-was he.” But that was all she could get through. The rest of the song was interrupted by a gunshot, quickly followed by another.

It was as if her heart stopped completely. She wanted to fall forward because it felt too laborious to stand. And although she was crying, she could hear the dark-haired man speak.

“At some point in the near future, Mr. Churchill will want to speak to you in person, Mr. Shelby.”

When he spoke Tommy’s name, Kate turned around in bewilderment. Only one man was standing, pointing a gun into the grave. Then she saw a dirt-covered hand raise from the pit in the ground. Kate didn’t remember telling her legs to move, but she soon found herself running over.

“Tom.” She could hardly comprehend the scene in front of her. The other two men were lying dead, one slumped into the grave where Tommy had been pushed. He looked just as stunned as Kate was, his eyes flicked up to her.

“Get outta the grave.” The shooter ordered. “Be on your fucking way, the both of ya.”

Kate held out a hand to help Tommy up. He stumbled a few times but got back to his feet. “Are you okay?”

He didn’t answer, instead, he just grabbed her arm to keep her walking. He wanted to get out of that field as soon as he could.

After finding the road, they walked along it until they found a telephone booth. There, Tommy rang for a driver to pick them up.

Kate sat outside of the booth on the side of the road. Her mind was still trying to catch up on what happened. Mr. Churchill? As in Winston Churchill? What did a politician want with Tommy? What sort of job could he be needed for? Still, the fright was enough to put her whole body in an odd state of feeling frozen.

Tommy exited the booth, wiping his face. Kate thought it was to get rid of the dirt and leftover blood. She didn’t think he was crying. He dropped to the ground beside her, locking his fingers together between his knees. His eyes watched the road. “Won’t be long.” He mumbled.

Kate fidgeted with the hem of her dress and the sequins sewn into the embroidery. “What does it mean?” She asked.

“I know just about as much as you do right now.” He answered, reaching into his coat and pulling out his cigarettes. He offered her one which she took.

“Did Grace find you at the Derby?”

Tommy cleared his throat before lighting her cigarette then his own. “She did.”

“And she told you?”

“Yes.”

Kate took a deep breath then placed the lit cigarette between her lips. She didn’t know what to think. Not after Tommy showed her even a little bit of affection. Not after what she’d admitted to him.

“I’m going to ask her to marry me.” Tommy continued. “That’s proper.”

Staring ahead at the fields that rolled over the countryside, she just nodded. “I’m happy for you. It’s what you wanted.” Kate stood up and distanced herself from him. She had to. Before she said something she regretted.

Kate handed in her resignation letter. Tommy tore it up and threw it in the bin. So, she wrote another one. Tommy took it from her then stubbed his cigarette out on it and threw it in the bin.

“I’m doing it the polite way, Tommy, you want me to disappear one day?” She demanded after he balled up her third letter and threw it in the bin.

“You’re not quitting.” He replied and carried on with what he was doing before she stormed into his office.

“Oh yeah? What you’re going to chain me to my desk then?” She retorted. “I told you I’m leaving. I’m going back to America.”

“They’ll arrest you once you arrive in Boston.” He didn’t even look up from his paperwork.

“Then I won’t stop in Boston.”

“Where will you go then? Who’s going to hire someone with no background to show?” 

“Oh, fuck off, Tommy, I know what you’re trying to do. You’re trying to scare me into staying here.”

“Yep.” He shrugged with his blunt response.

“Why? I don’t get it, just let me leave.” Never before did she give anyone a resignation letter. She simply left. No warning, no call, no note, nothing. But it didn’t feel right when she planned on making her escape into the night.

“Give me three reasons why you want to leave.” He finally set down his pen to look up at her.

She furrowed her brow. “Wha-I don’t need to give you a reason!” She snapped. When his facial expressions didn’t change, she scoffed. “You’re a prick, you drive me insane, you’ve nearly gotten me killed more than once.” She ticked off each reason on her fingers.

He looked fairly amused. “That’s not why you’re leaving.”

“Fine.” She decided he wouldn’t give it up unless she was being honest. And she also knew she wouldn’t leave with unfinished business. “Because I can’t even stand to look at you anymore knowing that you’ll be marrying her.”

The bemused smirk on his face vanished in an instant. “Why does that bother you so much?”

“God, you really are oblivious sometimes.” To emphasize her point, she turned her head to stare at the framed photographs on the wall.

“Tell me then.” He leaned forward a bit in his chair, almost as if he were challenging her.

“I’m leaving, Tommy, that’s final.” Kate made a hasty exit for the door, not ready to discuss anything with him.

“I promised you protection, how am I meant to protect you if you’re in America?” He questioned.

“I don’t need protection.”

“Yes, you do.”

Halfway out the door, Kate stopped abruptly. What he said wasn’t just an attempt to keep her from leaving. There was urgency in his voice. Calm and collected, he rarely showed emotion through his voice. But Kate could see through that. She turned. “What do you know?”

Tommy sighed and gestured to the chair she had been sitting in before. “Shut the door.” He requested.

The whole purpose of going into his office was to tell him to go to hell. Now that the scenario had changed, Kate felt even more vulnerable. So, she shut the door and returned to her seat. “What do you know?” She asked again.

“Alfie was approached by Sabini about what happened at Epsom. The two are fighting, obviously, but that’s not important. What is important is that Sabini mentioned you. Said he knew who you really were. He threatened Alfie, said he’d hand you over to Leoni.”

Kate couldn’t help that she went a bit pale. But she tried to hold her composure, letting out a sigh and putting her head in her hands. “And?”

“I don’t know what he’s planning. Alfie kicked off, I guess. Very fond of you.”

“Well, that’s another reason why I should leave.” 

“I would argue it’s a reason to stay,” Tommy replied. “I can’t protect you if you’re not in Small Heath or London.” 

Kate lifted her head and reconsidered her initial plan. She had been kept safe the two years she’d been working for Tommy. If Santo wanted to try to make a move, she would have more protection behind her if she had the Peaky Blinders there. But that meant having to watch Tommy and Grace get married, have their child, build their perfect family together. And she would just be left out, holding her tongue, and never getting to say the things she meant to say to him out in that barren field. 

“Fine.” She mumbled. “I’ll stay.” 

“Good.” That seemed to set Tommy more at ease. “I’ll let you know if I hear anything else from Alfie. In the meantime, I’m keeping my ears open to hear what the Italians are doing.” 

Part of her wanted to thank him, but that would go against what she felt inside. “So…” She clicked her tongue absent-mindedly. “When’s the wedding?” 

“She wants to have the baby first.” He replied. “Wants to get settled before we plan anything.” 

“That’s smart.” Kate wasn’t sure she was actually absorbing what he was saying to her. None of it felt real. Tommy Shelby having a child? Getting married? And at the same time, she was forcing down feelings that she had never felt for someone. Feelings she considered dangerous. Reckless, even. Never fall in love so you don’t have to deal with the fall out when it goes south. She thought that was the easiest way to live. But watching Tommy go about his life, in love, it bruised her. Hurt her in ways she never thought was possible because she assumed her armor was strong enough. Yet this blue-eyed man had caused so much confusion and damage. And she couldn’t say anything to him. 

“You look tired.” He noted, not really comfortable talking about Grace with Kate. Not when he still didn’t know her true feelings on the matter. 

“I am.” She blinked a few times to keep from staring blankly at the wall behind Tommy. She wanted so desperately to just sink into the floor and disappear. “I am tired.” 


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I stole a line from Moulin Rouge because I just love it oh so much...ok more than just a line. A lot of lines.

Kate would continue to work for Tommy but she took any opportunity to work in London. That way, she could have some distance without him getting all up and arms. Eventually, Tommy offered to let her stay in London to do some work for the company. Whether or not he had larger plans, he didn’t really let her know. But she was there in that field with him. She couldn’t ignore the talk about Winston Churchill. She just hoped he knew what he was doing.

“Have you ever been in love, Alfie?”

“That is quite the question, my dear.” The man looked up over his half-moon glasses at the young woman who was sat on the floor of his office.

Kate was kneeling by Cyril’s bed giving him a nice belly rub. She’d grown fond of the dog even though she’d never had one herself. He was a gentle giant and very sweet to her. It was the little thing like Alfie’s dog that kept her in a somewhat good mood. Despite the fact that she felt empty.

“I know it’s personal but I felt like we’ve talked about everything else.”

“Why d’you wanna talk ‘bout love, aye?” Alfie shuffled a few papers around his desk, still planning on working even if he was lead into some conversation about something silly like love.

“Because I didn’t know if you’d ever been in love or not.” Kate stood up, giving Cyril one final pat and going to sit back down across from Alfie.

“Pretty sure you didn’t come in here thinking ‘bout me love life. Think you’re probably thinking ‘bout something else. _Your_ love life, perhaps?”

“Intuitive.” She mumbled and rested her elbows on his desk. “What I say cannot leave this office.”

“Love, if you think I’m gonna go rat on you to Tommy, then you wound me.” He replied. “Thought I made it clear enough that he don’t need to know anything that we talk ‘bout in private.”

She frowned and glared at him. “Who said this has anything to do with Tommy?” She demanded.

Still busy with papers, Alfie rolled his eyes. “When you told me he was expecting a baby and planning a wedding, it sounded like you were telling me someone fucking died. If you didn’t have feelings for him, then you wouldn’t’ve acted so gloomy.”

Sinking lower in her chair, Kate buried her head in her arms. “I’m miserable, Alfie. Absolutely, miserable. Why on Earth did I have to-to fall in love with someone like that?” She protested. 

“You’re asking the wrong person. I figured a long time ago that I ain’t gonna be the dutiful Jewish husband that a dutiful Jewish wife welcomes home every night.” Alfie reached for a paper that had been pinned under Kate’s arm. He tapped her elbow, making her move with a frustrated groan. “Now, I can’t see what you see in Tommy Shelby. But I also can’t tell you to just move along. If ya wanted to move along, you would’ve done it by now.”

Kate lifted her head, propping her chin on her arm. “So, what do you suppose I do?”

Alfie paused and finally looked up from his work. He removed his glasses. “Do you want me to fucking lie to you and tell you that Tommy’ll ditch her and come running to you? Or do you want me honesty?”

“Honesty.” She replied meekly.

“We’re creatures of the underworld, yeah, we can’t afford to love.”

It pained Kate to know exactly what Alfie meant. All those years she spent either thriving or surviving. She did it alone because she had to. She couldn’t chance it on a love that could ruin her. Her trust was limited. She ruminated on his words for a moment. “Then why does it hurt so much when I see him with her?”

“Because life is a fucking bitch, Kate. And you need to be tougher than it is. Life ain’t ever done me any fucking favors.”

Kate nodded. “Yeah, it hasn’t done me any favors either.”

While Kate was bouncing back and forth between Small Heath and London, Tommy was bouncing back and forth between Birmingham and Warwickshire. The site of his newly bought estate. There he planned on raising a family with Grace.

But plans were changing and that’s why he called Kate one evening when he was in Warwickshire and she was in Small Heath.

“Rosseau residence.”

“Kate, it’s Tommy.”

It had been a few weeks since either of them had a long conversation that wasn’t about work. So, Kate half expected him to be calling about something along those lines.

“I’ve sent the invitation in the mail but I wanted to call you before you got it.” He continued.

“Invitation to what?” Maybe a certain social event that they needed to attend to either meet with someone or make a deal. That wasn’t too strange.

“Grace and I are getting married next month.”

Even though he had told her that before, it still hurt to hear the words out loud. A confirmation of her worst fears. And it rattled her so much that she needed to take a deep breath, holding the receiver away from her so he wouldn’t hear. “Well, I’ll look out for the invitation.” She replied. “Thank you for letting me know.”

“I hope you can make it.”

“I doubt I’ll be doing any business that day if the whole company is attending a wedding.” She tried to joke but it fell flat.

They were both silent over the phone for a good while. Both of them lost in their own thoughts about their own things.

Then Kate asked something without really thinking. “I thought she was going to have the baby before the wedding. That’s what you said the plan was, right?”

If she could see him, she would’ve instantly noticed him tense up defensively. “Plans change.” He replied in a clipped tone. Frankly, Tommy was sick of everyone questioning him. He thought what he was doing was right. An old flame of his came back to say she was pregnant, the timing worked out so why should he wait around twiddling his thumbs for a baby to appear? He didn’t care what Polly had to say, that Grace wasn’t showing as much as she ought to be. He didn’t care if Arthur and John questioned the timeline of it all. Tommy was in love and he was going to have something he never thought he’d have. A family and a wife. No one was going to take that away from him.

“Alright.” Kate was taken aback by his tone. “I was just asking.”

“Send in the RSVP whenever you get it.” Tommy hopped off the topic before they both got heated and ended up arguing. “I’ll see you soon.”

She couldn’t get another word in before he hung up the phone. Truth be told, Kate wasn’t questioning Grace and whether or not something was off. She was angry with Tommy. How cavalier he was about breaking her heart. Even if he didn’t know how she truly felt, she felt that she was justified enough to be upset. Pushing up the date of the wedding was like another jab to her heart.

But maybe Alfie was right, she just wasn’t meant to have anything of the sort. Never before had she seen herself betrothed to a man, marrying him, settling down, and having children. Before, she blamed it on her line of work and the things she got herself into. But perhaps it was because she never found someone who she could picture herself with. Then Tommy came along. And when he offered her protection, the first time any man had done so, she felt at ease. She liked how he treated her. Not as a dainty little maiden but almost as someone who could stand right beside him should she prove herself. Someone he trusted with things like being his alibi or dealing with Alfie. Oddly enough, she felt at home with Tommy. Relaxed enough to let down some of her barriers and show her true self to him. But he didn’t care to see her.

When the invitation arrived to Kate’s flat a couple of days later, she got a sickening feeling in her stomach.

_You are cordially invited to the wedding of Mr. Thomas Michael Shelby to Miss Grace Burgess. _

None of the words sounded right, as if they were written in an unfamiliar language. The fancy lettering swirled around the cream-colored making her dizzy.

It was a vice, but Kate knew that the only cure to her sudden case of emotional vertigo was a couple of drinks. Or a few. Or more. So, she got dressed and headed to the Garrison.

Though it was early in the evening, John and Arthur were already there with a couple of regulars at the bar. 

“Katie-Girl, there ya are!” John crowed happily. “Haven’t seen you.”

“Yeah, she’s been spending all her time with Solomons in London.” Arthur rolled his eyes.

Kate smiled. “Now, now, Arthur, you know I love you both equally. I’m not one to play favorites.” She scolded and found a seat at the bar.

“What’ll it be?” Arthur smiled and grabbed an empty glass for her.

“Whatever is strongest.” She placed her purse on the bar. “I’ve had a shit week and I’d like to forget it.”

“I’ll get ya a whiskey.”

John got a wild grin on his face as an idea crossed his mind. “Nah, mate, get her the absinthe. She wants to forget a week not a day.”

Arthur shot his younger brother a dirty look. “You know we ain’t supposed to advertise that shit.” He retorted. “Coppers will come in and take it from us if people go ‘round saying that we’ve got it.”

John just scoffed. “They can’t take anything from us, we’re the Peaky fucking Blinders.” He stood up suddenly and hopped over the bar, much to Arthur’s dismay.

“Gonna scuff up the woodwork you fucking little shit!” Arthur smacked him in the back of the head.

Still, John tucked under the bar and produced a bottle of a green-colored spirit.

“John, I’ve become well acquainted with the green fairy,” Kate informed him. “I lived with Bohemians in France and they drank that shit like it was stout.”

“Then have at it.” John uncorked the bottle and placed it next to the empty glass in front of her.

Kate thought about the thin black lines spelling out Tommy and Grace’s names. The date and time of the wedding. Cordially invited. “Fuck it.” She whispered and poured herself a shot of the bitter-tasting drink.

As the anise-flavored spirit traveled down her throat, she remembered the words of a man she lived with for a part of her time in Paris. An artist who was as eccentric as he was kind-hearted. And although Kate was never the artistic type, she often drank with him just to keep company.

One night she asked why he always drank absinthe. There wasn’t anything appealing to Kate, it didn’t smell very nice and the green hue was off-putting.

“The green fairy makes everyone a visionary.” He replied.

“I don’t want to be a visionary.” She responded. “I’ve nothing to offer the world. I just want to survive.”

He peered at her from behind his small spectacles that always rested precariously on the bridge of his nose. “Then drink, and rage, and forget.” 

Kate didn’t have much of a memory of the night after that. But she swore she danced over the rooftops of Paris until the stars took a hold of her and cradled her. Instead of waking up in the sky, however, she woke up on the floor of her bedroom, not able to make it to her bed before she passed out. But her roommates said she had sung well into the night. She had danced. And at one point she had thrown open the windows and shouted into the night. Something about life or something about death, no one remembered precisely.

In Birmingham, she raged. Though, she was good-natured at the Garrison. For the length of time that John and Arthur allowed her to stay. Eventually, Arthur demanded John bring her to Tommy’s or Polly’s. That way someone could look after her so she didn’t accidentally fall or hurt herself.

Since the betting shop was closer, that’s where John took Kate. Not that he was being lazy, it was just Kate was so drunk she could barely walk without stumbling every step.

She rambled on and on to him the walk over there. Not making much sense, either because her words were so slurred or she was speaking in a multitude of different languages. Stitching them together to try and make sense of her own drunken state.

Practically dragging her along, John managed to get her to Tommy’s doorstep and he knocked.

Since Kate started drinking early and it didn’t take long before she got drunk on absinthe, it was still a reasonable hour to be knocking.

Still, Tommy was annoyed when he saw his younger brother was toting along a very inebriated Kate. “What the hell happened?”

“Absinthe,” John explained. “I’m sorry, Tom, I didn’t think she’d take more than a shot but she was hell-bent on tryna drink the whole bottle ‘fore we got it away from her.”

“For fuck’s sake, John.” Tommy ran a hand over his face. “Fine, I’ll look after her.”

“Where are we?” Kate slurred.

“Tommy’s, you’re gonna stay here for the night so he can look after ya,” John explained and helped her inside.

Kate’s reached out to grab something to support herself. But her vision was so muddled that she got a handful of Tommy’s shoulder instead of the banister or the door.

“Go on home, John.” Tommy sighed and shut the door. 

“Tom, Tommy.” Her knees buckled for a moment and she decided to slump onto the stairs.

“Yes, Kate?” He watched as she reclined back on the stairs, staring up at the ceiling with a bemused look.

“I could swing from the chandelier.” She murmured like an awe-struck child.

Tommy glanced up and saw nothing but a water-damaged ceiling. “We don’t have a chandelier here.”

“Pft, I know. I could go to your big, fancy-schmancy house.” She giggled and rolled her head to the side to look at him.

“I don’t think Grace would appreciate you hanging off the chandelier.”

A sour look damaged her blissful expression. “Yeah, well I don’t give a flying fuck what Grace thinks.” She muttered and attempted to sit herself up. Instead, she slipped down to the bottom step, her legs sprawled out, outfit disheveled. If she wasn’t drunk, she would’ve been aghast at her appearance in front of Tommy.

He raised an eyebrow at her. “Where’s this talk coming from?” He inquired.

“Fuck off.” She grumbled and sloppily adjusted the hem of her skirt.

“You’ve been acting strange ever since the Derby. If you’ve got something to say, you ought to say it.” Tommy insisted firmly. He wasn’t fond of the distancing that Kate had enacted between him and her. Especially not after what they had gone through together in that field.

“M’not saying anything.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “Not saying a fucking word. Nothing!”

“Fine.” Tommy knew there was no reasoning with someone so intoxicated. “Then let’s get you to bed.” He went to pick her up.

“Hey!” She smacked his hands away or at least tried because she missed. “Don’t touch me.”

“You can’t possibly think you’re going to make it up those stairs on your own. You’ll fall and crack your head open and I don’t want that in me house.” He retorted.

“I’ll crack my head open if I damn well want to.” She replied like an insolent child. “I don’t care.”

Tommy took a deep breath and let it out before he got really upset. To remedy the situation and get her in bed, he picked her up and threw her over his shoulder.

Kate protested as much as she could without becoming motion sick. “Let me go!” She whined.

“I will once you’re upstairs.”

“I’m gonna fucking bite you if you don’t let me go.” It was the only thing she could think of as the rest of her body felt like lead.

He shook his head. “I have three younger siblings; you don’t think I’ve been bitten in a fight before?” He challenged and continued on his way upstairs with her.

“Fuck you.”

Tommy went into his bedroom and plopped her down on the bed. “There, lie on your side.” He directed.

“Can’t fucking stand you.” She snipped but obliged and curled up on her side, facing away from him.

“We can talk once you’ve sobered up tomorrow.” He turned off the lamp in the corner and pulled the quilt up over her. “Maybe you’ll make more sense in the morning.”

“There’s nothing to make sense of.” Kate felt like the bed was swaying beneath her. Almost like a cradle rocking back and forth. She grabbed at Tommy’s pillow, clutching it close to her like a teddy bear. “I’m in love with you and you’re marrying her.”

Tommy froze in place. He waited for her to say something else. To say she was kidding, or say something else funny to confirm that she was just out of her mind drunk. But she didn’t do either. “You love me? Kate?”

The only reply he got was her soft snores as she settled into a dreamless, painless sleep.


	19. Chapter 19

Kate didn’t remember what she said to Tommy. In fact, she didn’t remember leaving the Garrison. Perhaps it was a good thing to know that she didn’t have many reservations about getting blackout drunk with the Shelbys at their establishment. It just reinforced the idea that she trusted them. And trust was not easy to come by.

Still, she didn’t remember what she’d said. And Tommy didn’t tell her.

He was sitting downstairs in the kitchen when Kate came downstairs wearing the same dress she had on the night before. She didn’t look pleased with the hangover she was sporting.

“Tea?” Tommy offered.

“No, thanks.” She sat down at the table and took out a cigarette instead.

He simply turned the page of his newspaper, partially hiding his face behind it. He couldn’t be certain how much she remembered. Although she was certainly out of it, at the time that didn’t mean she forgot. Besides, Tommy didn’t want to mention it if she had forgotten and it was simply a mistake. Maybe he’d misheard her or she was just spouting nonsense. That was a convenient answer, one he held onto because he wasn’t willing to explore what he felt deeper. If he did, he was afraid of what he might find. Nevertheless, it would complicate things. So he chose not to bring it up.

“Did you come to the Garrison last night?” Kate asked.

“No, John brought you here. You weren’t making much sense.” He replied trying to sound nonchalant as if to portray the idea that she hadn’t said anything that bothered him or meant anything, to begin with.

It reassured Kate and she didn’t suspect he was hiding anything from her based on his demeanor. Of course, when she woke up at Six Watery Lane, she was horrified that she’d done something foolish. Perhaps she showed up at Tommy’s doorstep declaring her true feelings for him. How embarrassing that would be.

It had been quite some time since Kate had been in a legitimate ballet company. Not since she’d been in the States. And it had been a while since she’d been in a studio or any sort of suitable practice space. The thing about Birmingham and London was it all felt so cramped. There wasn’t enough room to do much of anything. Still, Kate did her best to stretch and keep herself somewhat in a condition to dance again. Maybe it was blind hope that she would one day find herself back on stage.

Back to that feeling that had escaped her for so long. Something that couldn’t be replicated. It was the closest thing she’d known to flying. She felt weightless on her feet. Able to leap like a gazelle, making it look effortless, and as if she could walk on air. Of course, they were fleeting moments. If she were to be lifted by someone, the feeling lasted much longer. But it came with a price. The price of trust and having to rely on someone to keep her aloft. There was still a man there, holding her up. Kate always wanted the man to disappear. That way it would be her alone. That’s all she needed. She didn’t need someone else’s support.

When Ada arrived, Kate was stretching in the hallway, using the staircase railing as a makeshift barre.

“Come in!” Kate welcomed her in.

Ada startled a bit, unsure at what the woman was doing with her leg so high in the air. “Is this a bad time?”

“No, no, just stretching.” Kate folded over her lifted leg, reaching for her toes. “Make yourself at home.”

“Alright then.” Ada did so by hanging her coat up along with her purse and hat. 

Kate could still hear her old instructor counting as she stretched.

_Five, six, seven, eight. _

She lifted her heel to remove it from the banister and returned to a normal standing position. “I’m guessing Tommy sent you with something.”

“Well, yes, and a question.” Ada removed a few things from her purse.

“Okay, good.” Kate went into the kitchen to get some water. Ada followed her in, spreading out the papers on the table. “If I had a penny for every contract I signed.” She sighed and turned to address the paperwork. “What about the question?”

“He said you didn’t RSVP to the wedding, I guess he just wanted to know why.”

Kate frowned. “Oh, I was certain I did.” Certain was a loose term. She recalled getting the invitation a few weeks ago. “Well, I think he knows I’m coming.”

“He didn’t sound so sure,” Ada told her.

The last thing she wanted to do was talk about the man she loved to his sister. Especially when that man didn’t love her back and intended on marrying someone else. “Tea? Or something to eat?” She offered to avoid the comment.

Ada sat down. “Tea is fine.” She figured she would be staying for a bit. Tommy had briefed her on the situation. He said Kate was acting strangely and he wanted Ada to gather more information. But of course, he left out the part about the drunken admission of love a few weeks earlier. Around the time the invitation had been received. Had Ada known, then the conversation would’ve gone differently.

“I was in a ballet company in America,” Kate said out of the blue as she filled the kettle. A distraction, to keep Ada off the topic of Tommy’s wedding. “Not for very long. I had trained for years, ever since I was little. But only a couple of seasons after I was accepted to join the company, I had to leave for Europe. It was one of the best times of my life.” She remembered fondly. Kate never fawned over the elegant, eye-catching costumes or attention from an entire audience. She had all of that at the Moulin Rouge and was miserable. No, she adored having an entire stage to use as her own. To stand tall with her chin lifted. Everything else was meaningless because the only thing that existed was that stage. It was better than any high.

“Why did you have to leave so soon after?” Ada wondered. The talk of ballet wasn’t anything interesting to her. What _was_ interesting was the woman behind the story. Years passed and although Ada knew Kate well and got along with her, she still couldn’t understand who she was. A dancer that Tommy plucked out of Paris and brought home. There was so much Ada didn’t know, as well as the rest of the Shelby family. And yet, they felt comfortable enough with her that they could accept the inconsistencies. Only because Kate never drew their attention to them. She simply cued them in on vague parts of her life. Like saying she had been a ballerina. But they could be explained. And they could continue to keep her close.

“My father got into trouble. He promised things he couldn’t promise. And one night, a man came to my performance and had left me a note in my dressing room. He told me what my father promised and what was to come.” Kate explained. The memory of walking into the dressing room with all the other girls was still fresh in her mind even after years passed. She was smiling and laughing with them as they usually did after a successful performance. Riding the high of being on stage, Kate remembered seeing the note addressed to her laying by a dozen red roses. She had been intrigued and a bit giddy at the thought of an admirer.

“What was it?”

_My dear Kathleen, _

_ You looked stunning on stage, but I would prefer you all to myself. Fortunately, that has been granted to me. You know what you promised and you know that it’s far too late to make any more excuses. I’ll be at your apartment tonight at ten o’clock. I wouldn’t run, _micina_, you know that only angers me._

_ Yours, _

_ Santo. _

“He believed I was his to marry when I wasn’t.” Kate poured tea for both of them and sat down. She shifted her attention down to the paperwork that Ada had laid out on the table.

Ada watched her eyes shift from side to side even though it didn’t appear she was reading anything on the paper. “That’s what Tommy’s been protecting you from, then.” Her brother hadn’t much of an explanation for why they kept Kate around. Other than she had connections in America, Alfie Solomons liked her, and she needed their protection. Not necessarily in that order.

Kate nodded. “And now I’m afraid I’ve been entangled in his web. A bit more than I would’ve liked.” She mumbled more to herself than to Ada.

“Look,” It happened to remind the Shelby sister why she’d gone there in the first place. “None of us are thrilled that he’s marrying her. After what she did, I know it doesn’t seem like she deserves another chance to be trusted. But I think Tommy wants you there. He made it seem important.”

That only made Kate feel worse. She chewed on the inside of her cheek to keep the emotions from bubbling up in her. Although Ada seemed like a nice enough confidante, Kate couldn’t risk the chance that the news got back to Tommy. Not so close to his wedding date. “Well, you can tell him I’ll be there.” She replied. “I said I would, so I will.”

Kate assumed most people had been invited to Warwickshire a couple of days before the wedding. Only because she had been and if she had been invited, then surely others were too. After all, she figured she would be the last person Tommy would want around his home only days before his wedding to Grace.

But he’d only invited a couple of other family members. And that was only to make it seem normal that he was inviting Kate.

Tommy sent a car for her one morning. Apprehensive, Kate had packed her things and got in the car. The entire drive, she worried about what might happen. Of course, her greatest fear was Tommy was going to actually get married, even though it was guaranteed to happen. She knew it was too late for him to back out. Aside from the wedding, Kate was afraid she might say something. Anything damning, really. Maybe she said something that showed how she felt for Tommy. Or maybe inexplicably brought something up about her past.

Frankly, they were foolish fears. She hadn’t mentioned anything about her past that wasn’t carefully explained. She let nothing slip. Well, of course when she wasn’t as drunk as she’d been on absinthe. But even then, she thought she didn’t let anything slip. Kate thought that she had trained herself well enough that even in her most inebriated state, her brain wouldn’t let anything loose. But she didn’t know that she told Tommy she loved him.

“Christ,” Kate whispered to herself when the car pulled up the gravel drive. She’d been expecting a large property, especially after Arthur and John had been complaining about getting lost. But it was hard to imagine how imposing Arrow House would be until she was on the doorstep.

It didn’t feel inviting, but maybe that was because Kate didn’t particularly feel a warm invite to the wedding. Still, the estate looked like it was out of a book, not an actual place to live in. It was truly a modern-day castle where Tommy hid. And now he’d invited her inside.

One of the front doors opened and a maid came out to greet her and take her bag. “You must be Miss Rosseau.” She greeted politely.

“Yeah, thank you.” Kate couldn’t help but look around when she walked into the place. The large, drafty rooms only made her feel emptier.

“Mr. Shelby’s gone out on a ride with his brothers but he should be back for lunch. Miss Burgess is in the drawing-room. If you’d like to greet her, I could bring your things upstairs.” The woman suggested.

Kate bristled at the thought of facing Grace alone. “Um, I’d actually like to freshen up a bit.” She made up the excuse, hoping Grace wouldn’t come out to greet her.

“Of course, I’ll show you to your room. If you’d follow me.”

She followed her up the large staircase. There was a portrait on the wall of Tommy and one of his horses. Had it been a different day, maybe she would’ve thought it was funny. Tommy Shelby was slowly changing from a gypsy boy to one of Britain’s elite. Large countryside estate, portraits on the wall, immense power.

The maid brought Kate down the long hallway and showed her into a room that fit the rest of the house. Grandiose without much emotion tied to it. It wasn’t yet a family home. Just a large place filled with meaningless showy things. It didn’t impress Kate. She found most wealth was hollow. It was clear Tommy saw things differently.

“Would you like me to come and fetch you when lunch is ready?” The woman offered.

“That would be great, thank you.” Kate set her bag down on the bed and debated leaving. She felt so on edge and out of place that it made her skin crawl. “What the fuck am I doing here?” She whispered and shook her head.

After making use of the built-in bathtub, Kate got dressed and idled in the room. She didn’t want to go downstairs before she was absolutely certain Tommy or any other family member was home. That way she wouldn’t be trapped alone with Grace. It wasn’t that she feared Grace. No, she just didn’t know what to say anymore. What else was there to say? Congrats? You win?

There was a knock at the door and Kate assumed it was the maid back to tell her lunch was ready.

“Come in!” She called from her spot by the window.

However, it wasn’t the maid that entered. It was Tommy. He walked in and shut the door behind him. “We need to talk.”


	20. Chapter 20

“About?” Kate kept the distance between them. There was no reason for her to get closer to Tommy, not in any sense of the word.

“In the field, after Derby day.” His hand left the door handle, indicating that he wouldn’t be leaving any time soon. “You said I meant more to you than I knew.” He reminded her.

She chewed on her lower lip. She _had _said that, although it was in the context that she thought he was going to be killed. Therefore, it would be something they wouldn’t discuss further. “Yeah, and?”

“What did you mean by that?”

“It was-it was just something I said, Tommy, it didn’t-” She sighed heavily and looked for an escape route. Something to say to make him drop the matter and never bring it up again. Unfortunately, she couldn’t come up with one in the heat of the moment. There didn’t seem to be anything that would distract him. “Why are you bringing this up now?”

“Because-”

“You could’ve asked me the day after or-or whatever but now? You’re bringing it up days before your wedding? Are you looking for trouble?” She exclaimed.

“Because you said you loved me,” Tommy spoke over her so she wouldn’t interrupt again.

Her cheeks went red and she glared at him. “No, I didn’t. I never said that to you.”

His defenses went down a bit as he leaned against the wall nearest to him. He ran a hand over his face, preparing himself for the Pandora’s box he was about to open. It had taken him such a long time to work up the courage to talk to Kate about it. He got even less sleep than usual because he was so at odds with himself. “You said it to me that night John brought you to my flat.”

Horror crept up on Kate. She thought she was in the clear but her own drunken self had admitted everything, apparently. “You must have misheard me.” Her voice was significantly quieter and she was finding it difficult to look at him.

“I didn’t. You said you loved me but I was marrying Grace.” He recounted for her. “I heard you clear as day, Kate.”

A mixture of embarrassment and heartache settled in her throat like a rock. She wasn’t waiting for Tommy to reciprocate her feelings. He wouldn’t be marrying another woman if he loved her. If anything, she was waiting for him to laugh at her or remove her from the company. 

Frustratingly, she felt tears forming in her eyes. God, she didn’t want to cry in front of him. “Okay, so what?” She asked. “That doesn’t change anything.”

Tommy took a few steps toward her but stopped halfway across the room. “So, what you said is how you feel?”

“If you want me to look you in the eyes and say it, I won’t.” She swallowed and averted her eyes to the lavishly designed carpet. “Because I know it doesn’t change anything.”

“How do you know that?” It was a standoffish question. Tommy never liked to have his actions assumed.

“Because you’ve known for weeks and you didn’t call off the wedding. Because she’s pregnant and you won’t leave her.” Kate told him the two reasons she had to remind herself every night. The two reasons that they would never end up together.

“Kate…”

“It doesn’t change anything.” She reiterated. “I think you know that as well as I do. And if this is why you asked me to come earlier, then I’m sorry. I don’t know what you were expecting.”

Tommy shook his head. “I don’t know.” He admitted. She was right, he had no idea what he was expecting when he confronted her. Certainly, he didn’t expect her to get down on her knees and beg him to cancel the wedding. That wasn’t like Kate in the slightest. Maybe he hoped she would clarify things. Tell him that she wasn’t in love with him, it was simply a joke. But she was far too honest.

“Then, I would urge you to put it behind you.” She took in a shaky breath and straightened up. “You want things to run smoothly for the wedding.”

He watched her pick up a sweater to throw on over her dress. It felt like a punch in the gut when he caught the scent of her jasmine perfume. Mostly because he realized for the first time that he recognized it as hers. “Yeah.” He muttered.

“This place is beautiful, Tommy, maybe you should consider this a step in the right direction. You’re finally getting what you wanted.” Kate forced a smile and stepped around him to leave the room. It felt as if she had been stabbed. But instead of crying out in pain, she simply removed the knife, tossed it aside, and placed a hand over the wound to hide it. She’d done this a million times, walk away with tears in her eyes and a smile on her face. It just had never hurt as much as it did with Tommy.

Grace greeted Kate like an old friend. It appeared she wanted things to go as smoothly as could be, just as Kate had implied upstairs. So, the tense stand off in Epsom was placed behind them.

Kate followed suit. She wasn’t going to make a scene; it wouldn’t be fair to anyone. She needed to keep a good reputation with everyone in the Shelby family, not just Tommy. And if she kicked up a fuss, then she risked the protection she needed.

So, things looked perfect on the outside. Kate was just a friend at the wedding, a work acquaintance even. And when the wedding came, Kate had been faking it long enough that she felt numb. Numb when they exchanged vows. Numb when they looked into each other’s eyes and kissed. Numb when everyone cheered for their union. She simply smiled and clapped along.

Utterly numb.

It was a good thing drinks were flowing at the reception because Kate was starting to get worn out. She desperately wanted to leave, go back to Birmingham to lick her wounds, but she promised Tommy she’d be there. So, she sucked it up and grabbed a flute of champagne whenever a waiter passed her by.

Polly found her after dinner and Arthur’s disaster of a speech. They stood together watching people dance and generally have a good time.

“She’s not pregnant, you know,” Polly said before taking a sip of her drink.

“How do you know?” Kate wasn’t about to jump on any information like that, even if it was coming from Polly.

“I’ve seen enough pregnant women and helped birth enough children to know.” The older woman replied. “But Tommy won’t listen to me.”

It wasn’t much of a surprise that Grace had lied. But lying about a pregnancy was something entirely different. Kate chewed on her lip. “Well, it probably won’t change anything.” She sighed and frowned when she saw the bottom of her glass.

“Why wouldn’t it?” Polly challenged although she kept a level tone. It was risky to be talking about the bride and groom in such an open space. “That’s why he married her.”

“No, he married her because he’s still in love with her. And that won’t change.”

Polly looked over at her. “I know you’ve been upset all day.” She said in a gentler voice. “Is there something I need to know?”

Kate shook her head. “I’m happy. Tommy’s a friend and he’s found happiness. Why wouldn’t I be happy?”

“Hm.” Polly wasn’t convinced but didn’t push the subject. “Tommy needs you outside.”

“Why?”

“Well, while you’ve been so happy, there’s been business going on under your nose,” Polly explained. “Go on, now.”

Kate stepped outside as one of Tommy’s cars pulled up. He parked and got out. “Are you supposed to go off-site on your wedding day?” She asked.

“I had business,” Tommy replied as he shut the door.

“Business, right, Polly said something about that.” Kate wrapped her arms around herself to keep warm in the chilly night air.

“It’s business about what Churchill wants me to do.” He said and stopped right in front of her. “I wouldn’t have you involved except you were there in the field that day.”

“So now I’m involved by default, fantastic.”

Tommy didn’t seem to be in the mood for her attitude. “I don’t have a fucking choice in this matter. Are you going to help me or not?” He demanded.

Kate pursed her lips and glared at him. “Not if you’re going to talk to me like that.” She went to turn away but he grabbed her by the arm.

“This is serious.” He snapped in a low voice. “My family is at risk and that involves you too.”

“I’m not a part of your family.”

“But you need my family to stay together. Or it’ll be back to playing hide-n-seek across the globe with that Italian of yours.”

Kate ripped her arm away from his grip. “Are you threatening me?” She hissed. “Tommy Fucking Shelby, King of the world. I forgot you can threaten whoever you want. Oh, except for Churchill though, because you’re right under his thumb, aren’t you? He says jump and you say ‘how high?’.”

“You’ve never questioned me before. You’ve dealt with Alfie Solomons because I asked you to. Now you’re acting like this because of what you said to me? Because you said you loved me, aye? Now you’re kicking off?” His voice rose. The night was really starting to wear on him and he just wanted it to be over.

“How dare you?”

“Don’t-” He groaned and ran a hand over his eyes.

“Did I kick off? Or did I sit there in that church without saying anything? Did I play nice with your wife? I kicked off? Because I questioned you!?” She shouted, her voice bouncing off the nearby architecture.

Tommy paced a few steps away from her, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You don’t know the position I’ve been put in.”

“You’ve put yourself in that position, Tom. No one else put you there. That’s what happens when you keep pushing. Someone takes advantage of you.”

“My family will fucking hang if this doesn’t go right.” Tommy dropped his hand from his face to look at her. “Forget about me, forget about whether you think I deserve or not. Does anyone else in my family deserve it? Polly, Arthur, John, Finn, Ada? Aye? Should they hang?”

Kate went quiet because he’d hit a nerve. She loved Tommy but she loved his family too. They had taken her in and made her feel at home. They gave her more reasons to smile than anyone else did. No, she wouldn’t let them be tried for the crimes of Tommy Shelby. “Fine.” She muttered. “I’ll help you, whatever you need me to do. But you will not speak to me like that.”

Tommy nodded. “Fine.”

She held his gaze for a long bit. “Do you want to know why I care about you?” She decided to leave out the word ‘love’.

It had piqued Tommy’s interest. He assumed a woman like Kate was smart enough to avoid a man like him. Romantically, at least. Business-wise, she was very savvy. So, he thought she was wise enough to keep her feelings professional. “Okay.”

“Because you protected me. No one else has ever put themselves at risk for me.” Her eyes flicked to the ground before she took a deep breath. “I think that’s admirable. And I can only assume it’s why Grace loves you too. You deserve happiness, Tommy.” She nodded, content that she had said as much as she could muster. She turned around and headed back to the reception.

“You deserve happiness too, Kate,” Tommy called after her.

“No, I don’t.” She whispered to herself. “Not after everything I’ve done.”


	21. Chapter 21

It was strange returning to Small Heath knowing things would be different. Grace and Tommy were married. Tommy knew how Kate truly felt about him. Churchill was dishing out orders. But Kate continued to work, waking up every morning at the same time and getting to the office at the same time without fail. It was as if she was watching herself go about her routine. Sitting on the sidelines, just watching herself work like a machine. She needed no thanks or acceptance. She just needed reassurance. That reassurance was waking up every morning in a safe place.

But there was trouble bubbling below the surface. In a strange way, Kate was grateful for it. It was reminiscent of her past. Always keeping on her toes because something bad was always just around the corner. It gave her something else to think of instead of being hung up on Tommy. If she accepted the chaos, there was nothing else to fret about.

For such a long time, the chaos was a game to her. The dangers were very real, but she tried her best to remove herself emotionally. She couldn’t be scared if she laughed at the danger. But when she played with fire, she got burned.

“Kate, you ought to just get a pair of boots to muck up if you’re gonna come down here so often,” Charlie commented from his seat in the yard. He was reading the newspaper, his feet propped up as if he were in a parlor.

“Lucky for me Tommy pays me to get my shoes dirty.” Kate smiled and picked her way through the muck. It was almost becoming second nature. “I have things that need to be sent to London. Sensitive things, can’t go through the mail.” She explained.

“To Alfie?”

“The very same.” She handed Charlie the documents. “I don’t have the time or the patience to go right now.”

“You have been busy.” He noted. Although Charlie wasn’t one to frequent the office where Kate did most of her work, he had seen her flitting about Birmingham like a bee.

“Takes my mind off of things.” She explained. That’s when she heard talking around the corner. “You have company?”

“John ‘n Arthur are meeting with some Italians.” He shrugged.

Kate immediately froze. The trouble started to seep through the surface. And she didn’t have enough time to run before on older gentleman rounded the corner with two associates. He looked frustrated but that expression faded to recognition when he saw her standing there.

“Kathleen?”

She swallowed and felt every muscle in her body lock up. “Um…Charlie, could I have a moment alone?”

Tommy’s uncle frowned but got up with a grunt. “Fine, s’not like it’s me own fucking yard.” He grumbled under his breath as he made himself scarce.

“Alone, Vincente.” She reiterated; her eyes flicked to the two burly men flanking him.

The man nodded and waved the two off. “_Go to the car_.” He spoke to them in Italian.

Once they were completely alone, Kate allowed herself to note any escape routes she could take. “Why are you here? I didn’t know you did business with the Shelbys.”

“Why am _I _here?” He chuckled. “_Cara_, I think you have a bit more explaining to do.”

Defensive, Kate fiddled with the lapel of her coat, knowing her pistol was holstered at her side. “I don’t owe you an explanation.”

“You’ve been gone for years. We all thought you were dead.” Vincente continued.

“That doesn’t surprise me, seeing as your son sold me out to Santo.” She retorted.

After an aggravating meeting with two of the Shelby brothers, Vincente wasn’t looking for more strife. He had never seen the young woman as a threat. “Luca’s busy with things in America. He doesn’t wish you ill.”

“Good, then he’ll leave me alone. You should all leave me the fuck alone.”

He tutted and shook his head. “You’ve been running for so long. Perhaps you stop running now.”

“I have stopped running.” She insisted.

“Santo is in London.” He informed her.

The walls were closing in on Kate. She wanted to urgently run. Run somewhere else. Somewhere much farther than she’d been before. Suddenly, Tommy’s protection seemed flimsy. “He should leave London. I have allies there who are much stronger than he is.”

“Kathleen, you should sit down and talk to him. _You never run from your debts.” _

If Tommy’s protection wasn’t enough. If Alfie’s wasn’t enough either, then she only had herself. And although she wanted to disappear again, she was tired. She didn’t want to keep running the rest of her life. So, she stood her ground. “If that man comes near me, the only thing he should expect is a bullet in his head. I don’t care if I start a war. I don’t care if I have to fight off everyone. I will. No one will ever force me into something, not him, not you, no one. I would die before I marry that man.”

Vincente didn’t seem too uneasy about her threats. “If you won’t listen to me about Santo, then listen to me about these fucking gypsies. They’ll get you killed. Or you’ll get them killed. You won’t have Santo to blame for that, you’ll have yourself to blame for that. That’s why you don’t create ties, _cara_, you risk their lives.” He nodded, adjusted the collar of his coat and walked past her.

Kate felt like her heart was in her throat. She wanted to scream, wanted to tear her hair out, she wanted Santo Leoni dead.

The news about Santo swirled around Kate’s head but she couldn’t get a hold of Tommy. He seemed all over the place and Polly wasn’t much help getting her in contact with him. She was oblivious to all the other trouble kicking off around the Shelby empire. It was hard to keep track when she had her own issues. She just wasn’t sure how her issues overlapped with the brothers.

Not until Tommy came into the office, walking like he was storming into war. He stopped by Kate’s desk first.

“What do you know about jewelry?”

“That’s the first thing you say to me after I haven’t seen you in days?” She didn’t look up from her paperwork. She had cultivated a rather unhealthy routine of overworking herself in order to become exhausted. That way she didn’t stay up all night, jumping at every little noise thinking it was an intruder.

“You were never one for pleasantries.” He remarked, pacing back and forth between the small space of her doorway.

“But I did ask that you speak to me respectfully.” She reminded him of their conversation outside of the wedding reception.

Tommy stifled a noise of frustration. “Good to see you, Kate, how’ve you been?” He asked sarcastically.

She looked up. “Absolutely terrible, how about you?”

“Likewise.”

“Sit.” She allowed him further into the office. “I need to tell you something.”

“I’m on a tight schedule.” Even still, he sat down and pulled out a cigarette.

She took a deep breath and weighed her options. She could further burden Tommy or she could wait for his mess to settle. If it ever did. “Okay, fine.” 

“What do you know about jewelry?” He asked the question he had entered with again.

“Some bits, not as much as Alfie. He noticed that one of my necklaces only had two real diamonds from across the room.” She recalled.

“Alfie…” Tommy stared at the clock on the wall for a moment, suddenly realizing something. “That’s a good idea, Kate.”

“What is? Why do you need to know about jewelry?” She asked.

“Tommy!” Michael called from the other end of the hallway.

He stood up and nodded for Kate to follow. “Walk with me, I’ll tell you more.”

They headed down the hall to Michael’s office.

“Polly called.” Tommy’s cousin informed them. “Something happened.”

Despite not knowing what happened, Tommy brought Kate along to the betting shop. There, Polly and Arthur were already sat at the table by the fire. Tommy made a beeline for the bar, pouring himself a drink. He figured he would need one, no matter what the issue at hand was.

“What happened?” Kate sat down.

“John didn’t listen to us,” Arthur said, loud enough so Tommy would hear him on the other side of the shop. “Didn’t apologize or compromise. He went and cut Angel Changretta this morning.” 

“What?” Kate’s eyes widened.

A moment later, John entered the betting shop with Finn. Kate didn’t waste time in tearing into him.

“Are you insane?” She shouted. 

None of the Shelbys knew what to do. The anger was expected from anyone _but _Kate who they assumed didn’t have a horse in the race.

John blinked a few times and looked to his brothers and aunt for any help. But none of them had any.

Tommy cleared his throat and looked to Kate. “You know the Changrettas?” He asked.

She chewed on the inside of her cheek, weighing her options. She could confess to a whole lot, or just skirt her way around the full truth. “Vincente’s son, Luca, runs a big organization in America. New York, specifically but he still made it a point to…be a pain in my ass. And now John’s gone and poked a sleeping bear. Are you fucking crazy?”

“He deserved what was coming to ‘im.” John retorted. “I ain’t gonna compromise or apologize to any wops.”

Kate was fuming but it was all sourced from fear. “You don’t know what you’ve gotten yourself and the rest of your family into. These men are dangerous, they have armies. If you mess with one of them, you mess with all of them and they won’t stop until you and everyone in your life pays.” She insisted in a harsh tone. “So, you better go to Vincente and get down on your knees for forgiveness. Trust me, groveling a little will be less painful than being killed.

Polly looked alarmed at the knee-jerk reaction Kate had to just the name of the family. “I agree with Kate. There’s no need to make this into anything bigger. This is the last thing we need.”

“Kate isn’t in charge. I think you did well, John, you did the right thing.” Tommy said with a cool demeanor.

“Well?” Kate’s jaw nearly dropped. “Tommy, this is serious!”

“Then we go on the offensive. We’ll take more of their pubs, we'll take two tonight.” He didn’t fully address her concerns and turned to walk away.

“You’re going to get your whole fucking family killed!” Kate yelled after him. “How dare you gamble with their lives!”

Tommy snapped. “Aye? How dare I? How fucking dare I?” He whipped around and stormed towards her. “Because I fucking can and I fucking will. If you’re so scared, then you jog on but you don’t yell at me brother about what he’s done.”

She didn’t cower away from him. She stood her ground and glared back at him. “You’re so blind. Blind to everything around you. Blind to danger. Blind to threats. Blind to your liar of a wife!” She shouted right in his face before leaving the shop with a huff.

Polly, John, and Arthur couldn’t do anything but watch in utter shock. The dynamic between Kate and Tommy had changed drastically, and since they weren’t privy to the reason why, it was absolutely dumbfounding. They’d gone from bantering back and forth to acting like they’d torn each other’s hearts out.

When the door slammed, Tommy flipped over the nearest chair. “Fuck!” He shouted and against his better judgment, he stalked after Kate. The door slammed again and Polly looked over at her nephew’s. She stood up and went to retrieve her book from the other room. As she walked past John, she gave him a well-earned smack upside the head.

“Kate!”

She heard Tommy calling after her but continued on down the street, going back home to take get a smoke.

“Kate!” He shouted after her but when she didn’t turn around, he jogged a few steps to catch up to her.

She reacted violently when he grabbed her arm to stop her. “Stop touching me!” She snarled and whacked his hand off of her. 

“If you have something to say about Grace, you better fucking say it. I’ve had enough of your attitude.” He spoke in a low voice as if she were a child he was scolding.

It made her even more upset. “She’s lied to you before and she’ll lie to you again. That’s not my issue but if you think I’m going to just sit there and let you walk further into trouble then you’re wrong. You’re walking into something dangerous with the Changrettas and you’re in a relationship that’s based on lies.”

“I make my own decisions. I make decisions for the company. That’s how this works. My relationship is my business.” He tried to keep a steady voice but he was too angry to be cordial.

“Then stop making it everyone else’s business.” She retorted. “If I say anything, don’t immediately correlate it to how I feel about your wife. Don’t push your insecurities on me.”

Tommy let out a sarcastic laugh. “Insecurities. Fucking insecurities.” He rolled his eyes.

Their argument was starting to attract attention. But when people saw it was Tommy Shelby, they were quick to avoid eye contact and keep walking along. “I know what this is about.” He pointed at her. “You’re scared that your protection is going to be compromised. That’s all you’re worried about.”

Kate’s eyes narrowed and she was so close to slapping him for speaking to her in such a manner. “I’ve been here for years. I was at John and Esme’s wedding. I was there when Karl was born. I was there on Black Star Day. I was there on Derby Day. I’ve been there for you, for everyone! Now you’re acting like I’m just using you?” She spat and made sure she didn’t budge an inch to show him she wasn’t backing down. “I’ve tried leaving so many times because I was afraid of what I would bring to your family. But you never let me leave. You always had me stay. Don’t kid yourself, Tommy. I’m not just some woman who works for you.” She turned to walk away again. 

He decided not to follow but shouted after her. “You’ll be at Grace’s dinner.”

“Fuck her dinner!” Kate yelled over her shoulder. "I'm not playing nice with her anymore!" 

“Kate, you better fucking be there!”

“Well, you better be ready for disappointment because I’m not going!” And with that, she disappeared around the corner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italian:   
Cara-Dear


	22. Chapter 22

Tommy was in a foul mood days after he fought with Kate. And on the day of Grace’s dinner, he came to find her office was empty. With a frown, he turned to seek out Polly.

“Where’s Kate?” He asked his aunt when he tracked her down.

“She called in.”

“Called in?” He raised an eyebrow. No one called in to say they wouldn’t be at work. Not unless they were a part of the family. Everyone was afraid to defy him. He’d had to send a man home because he came to work with the flu and on another occasion, he had to call for an ambulance to pick up a woman who had fainted in the middle of the day. “Did she give a fucking reason?”

“She said she didn’t want to deal with you today,” Polly replied exactly what Kate had told her over the phone.

“Didn’t want-her job is to deal with me.” He got agitated and his voice started to rise.

His aunt recognized the warning signs of a Shelby tantrum so she pointed at a chair near her desk. “Sit and talk.” She ordered.

Tommy didn’t appreciate being spoken to like a child but listened and sat down. “Talk about what?” Even without knowing the topic of conversation, he knew he would need a smoke. So, he grabbed his pack out of his pocket.

“You and Kate. You’ve been at each other’s throats for weeks. She looks at you like you killed her mother and you look at her like she’s broken your heart.” Polly perched on the edge of her desk, looking at her nephew expectantly. “Out with it.”

There weren’t many times Tommy didn’t trust Polly. In fact, many people in the world wouldn’t get the same level of respect he had for her. So, he trusted her not to go gossiping about anything he told her. He rubbed the heel of his hand into his eyes and let out a long sigh. “A few weeks ago, she got drunk on absinthe at the Garrison. John brought her to my place to sleep it off. She was talking about all sorts then she just…she said she loved me.”

Polly put a hand to her mouth. Not because she was very shocked, but because she had sensed something between the two. But she thought it was just some odd thought. She wasn’t willing to play childish games though so she lowered her hand and resumed a firm stance. “And? What did you say?”

“Polly, I’m married with a child on the way. What am I supposed to say?”

“Tommy.” She spoke slowly. “There’s no baby.” She was brave to say such a thing when she knew it was an instant trigger for him.

Her nephew stood up with a fury. His eyes narrowed. “No talk of the baby tonight.” He warned. “Be there on time, be respectful to Grace, and enough about doubting her. This is her night and I won’t have me family gossiping about her.”

Polly sighed. There wasn’t anything else she could say to him. So, she didn’t say a word, letting him leave when the silence continued.

It had been a few days of struggling with a decision for Kate. That’s why she ended up not going to work the day of Grace’s dinner. She couldn’t handle the conflict she had in her head. 

The day after her argument, flowers were sent to her flat. Kate panicked for a second, wondering if they were from Santo, the Changrettas, or anyone else looking to threaten her. But she was met with a brush of relief when she read the card. Which was strange because it was Grace’s name on the card. She wasn’t sure she would be relieved to see her name. But it was far better than any alternative.

Taking the flowers inside, Kate read the full card that was tucked between a lovely arrangement of yellow and white roses.

_Kate, _

_ Tommy said you were considering not attending the dinner this Friday. I would miss your absence, as would Tommy. We hope you change your mind and attend, there will always be a seat open for you. _

_ Warmest Regards, _

_ Grace Shelby. _

Kate set the flowers down on her kitchen table and flipped the small card between her fingers. The words ran over and over in her head. In a twisted way, she wanted Grace to despise her. It would only make Kate’s life easier, at least that’s what she thought. If Grace hated her, then she had a reason to retaliate. But if Grace took the high road, then Kate looked the fool. Still, she was sure that Tommy didn’t indulge his wife in the information about their previous conversations. So why should Grace hate her?

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. It wasn’t the life she wanted. Pining after a married man. Even if it turned out that Grace was lying about the pregnancy, Tommy was too in love with her. He would see her through it. Maybe later on they would have a child together. They’d be the family that Tommy wanted.

It was what Kate would never have. And she thought that she’d learned that lesson a long time ago.

Alfie’s words from weeks ago echoed in her head.

_We’re creatures of the underground, we can’t afford to love. _

She had nothing to give Tommy Shelby. That would never change.

Kate arrived fashionably late. But that was only because she was still having doubts about whether she wanted to go. She could make her peace with the idea that she would never have Tommy. She could accept Grace’s gesture and leave it be. But that didn’t mean she had to go and socialize with everyone. In fact, her gut was telling her to stay inside. Don nothing but a dressing gown and drink her reserves of liquor.

But that damn dress kept calling her name. A beautiful beaded gown that she’d bought for the occasion, before the last argument with Tommy, when she fully intended on going to the function.

It was such a shame to waste a dress, although Kate was certain she would find another place to wear it if she somewhat stayed in Tommy’s good graces. But she realized to do that, she would have to go to the dinner.

So, she donned the gown and hitched a ride to the Midland Hotel. And even she was surprised to see the turnout. Well, surprised wasn’t the right word. She wasn’t blind to Tommy’s immense efforts of throwing his name in everyone’s faces and refusing to let them forget it. Now it seemed the hard work was really paying off. She bet he didn’t have to threaten anyone to go, well…except for her.

A man by the door took her coat as she walked in. The ballroom was stunning with a golden-white glow to everything. Chandeliers of glittering stones hung low in the room, sparkling over the jovial guests. Everyone was dressed to the nines as if they were in New York or London. But it was still Birmingham and everyone was doing their best to look the part for Grace and Tommy Shelby.

Grace caught sight of Kate entering from the front and came over to greet her. “I’m so glad you made it.” She smiled. “I was hoping you’d get my letter in time.” 

It didn’t help Kate’s cause that Grace looked like a movie star in her pearl-colored dress and furs. The icing on the cake was an enormous sapphire necklace that she wore like a queen. All Kate could only swallow her pride and smile. “It was a kind gesture; the flowers were beautiful. I’m sorry if there was any misunderstanding with Tommy and me. I never wanted it to interrupt this night for you.”

“Not at all!” Grace touched her shoulder with a satin gloved hand. “I just knew Tommy wanted his closest people here.”

She exhaled slowly and bit her tongue before replying. “We work well together. I’ll always be here for him.”

Grace smiled and glanced over her shoulder. “Oh, Kate, I need to step away for a moment. Dinner will be starting soon, so please enjoy yourself.”

“Thanks.” She nodded and went to hunt down a flute of champagne.

Kate found John to chat with while they waited for dinner. She wouldn’t associate with any of the rich donors, that was more than she could stomach in one night. But even as she spoke to Ada, she kept an eye on the room around them. It was a force of habit, and a smart one in her opinion.

During a subtle scan, she noticed Tommy for the first time. He was standing with Grace and another dark-haired woman in a beaded, taupe dress. Her suspicions raised when Tommy leaned forward to kiss this woman’s hand.

Tommy Shelby wouldn’t kiss anyone’s hand unless it was expected of him. Meaning, rank, royalty even.

“John, who is that talking to Tommy?” Kate directed his attention.

“Oh, that’s that fucking duchess. Heard she’s crazy.” He replied without much thought of the matter.

“Duchess?” She scoffed. “What on Earth is Tommy doing with a duchess?”

“Not just that, she’s Russian.”

“A Russian duchess, you’d think he would mention that earlier.” She muttered into her drink. 

There wasn’t much time after that. Kate turned away from Tommy and the duchess. That was something they could address later; she was dealing with one thing at a time. Then, she heard a man call for a loyalty toast to the king.

Kate cleared her throat and rolled her eyes slightly as she raised her glass with the rest of the party-goers. She wasn’t loyal and she could bet a high percentage of the people weren’t loyal either. They were loyal to money.

As people were filing towards the dinner hall, there was a quick commotion before two words were shouted.

“For Angel!”

The gunshot made Kate duck before she realized what was going on. Most of the attendees were quick to run for the exit, screaming and shouting to add to the fray.

Kate and the rest of the Peaky Blinders rushed toward the scene. When enough people cleared, she finally understood what happened.

Grace had slumped to the ground in Tommy’s arms. Her face a frozen look of a daze as she loosely held onto her husband’s upper arm. Tommy was shouting for an ambulance, his hand over his wife’s heart, trying to contain the bleeding from the bullet wound.

There was a man on the ground, being swarmed by the Shelby brothers.

Polly rushed by Kate, in a rippling of blush pink satin.

Kate staggered forward and met Tommy’s eyes. They both had the same look of horror and disbelief. She went to Grace’s other side, just acting out of instinct. She had no idea what else to do. Her ears were ringing with the sound of Tommy’s screams and the sounds of the brother’s caving in the shooter’s head.

Her hands shook as she slipped off Grace’s fur and pushed Tommy’s hand away from the wound. Her heart was pounding as she pressed to try and stem the bleeding.

But it didn’t seem to be of much use. Grace was slipping away before their eyes. Her eyes were starting to glaze over. Her face turning an ashen shade.

Kate didn’t notice, but she started to rock back and forth as tears slipped down her cheeks. She continued holding the fur shawl to the wound, but the elegant garment wasn’t meant to soak up blood. Soon, dark red began to saturate the pale color and seeped through Kate’s gloves.

The entire Shelby family waited in the hospital. After consulting with the doctor, Polly came back with the news.

“She’s gone. They didn’t even have a pulse when she arrived.” She reported somberly.

“Where’s Tom?” Arthur asked.

“Out back. I think it’s a good idea for him to be alone right now.” She replied.

Kate felt like if she moved, it would just be proof that she wasn’t in a nightmare. Once she moved, it confirmed that she truly was living this unspeakable night. Even still, she stood up and moved to leave the hospital.

“Kate, I really wouldn’t...” Ada warned.

But she didn’t listen and kept walking out the door. She circled the building looking for where Tommy went.

Around the back, she found him sat on the steps leading to a door. It was dark, but she could see him hunched over his knees. Still dressed in his tuxedo, he looked out of place. But it was where he was. A broken man with his wife’s blood staining the cuffs of his crisp, white shirt. Both of his hands were gripping onto his hair as if he was trying to grab onto reality again.

“Tom.” Kate couldn’t muster more than a whisper.

He didn’t even move a muscle. His shoulders were heaving unevenly. And she knew why. Neither of them could breathe. Suddenly the air wasn’t suitable for them anymore, their lungs weren’t compatible. They couldn’t get enough air in. They were gasping for something. Something more.

“Tommy.” She stepped toward him.

“It was meant for me.” His voice was muffled but it was loud enough for her to hear. “That fucking bullet was meant for me.”

Kate knew it was. Sure, Grace had her past but it was Tommy who racked up the enemies. Maybe he didn’t kill Angel, but he was the orchestrator. And their enemies were smart enough to know that. “There wasn’t anything you could’ve done…”

“It was fucking meant for me!” Tommy lifted his head to shout at her. His eyes were red from crying and he looked two inches away from a complete breakdown.

Her lower lip quivered. Not because he was shouting at her, but because of the overwhelming feeling of guilt that blanketed over her like steel. Crippling her. “You know that if I had the chance…I would’ve taken it for her. I never wanted-I never wanted her-” She couldn’t get the word out. Saying it would make it so.

Tommy shook his head and violently ripped at his bow tie, tearing it from around his neck. “No, I should’ve been the one. I’m meant to be dead. I should be fucking dead, Kate!” He shouted.

“But you’re not!” She grabbed his wrist to keep him from hurting himself by tugging at the buttons of his shirt. “You’re alive and you have things that you need to do. You have a family you need to take care of now!”

He fought against her, trying to pull from her grip but she wrestled him back.

“Stop it!” She snapped. “She’s gone. We can assign blame or we can remedy this. We’ll get the bastards that did this and make them pay! That’s how we do things so that’s what we’ll do now!” Tears streamed down her face as Tommy went weak in her grip.

His blue eyes were filled with tears too. “It wasn’t supposed to happen this way.” His voice wasn’t more than a whisper. The strength had been siphoned out, there was nothing more than what Grace had left. Everything else of him, she’d taken with her.

“I know.” Kate swallowed and loosened her hold on him. “I know it wasn’t.”


	23. Chapter 23

Ada looked alarmed when Polly and Michael walked into the foyer without Kate. Dressed in black, they looked as if they were in mourning but moved like they were prepared for business. The medium that was necessary.

“Where is Kate?”

Polly already looked stressed enough, her niece’s question didn’t help any. “She didn’t come.”

Ada’s eyes widened. “Pol, Tommy gave me a list and said that she needed to be here. She’s supposed to meet with him after you two meet with him. That’s why I asked you-”

Polly held up a hand. “She wouldn’t let me in the flat for ten minutes. Then she let me in and said she wasn’t going. I said what Tommy said but she just ran off and got sick in the bathroom.”

“But-”

“Would you rather I had Michael pick her up and throw her in the car?”

Ada sighed and threw up her hand. “Okay, but you can tell Tommy.”

After discussing legitimate business with Michael and Polly, Tommy dismissed them. Michael stood up to leave instantly, a good soldier. But Polly lingered. “Tommy.”

“That’s all.” He said again, the tension rising in his voice. “Go get Kate.”

“That’s the thing, Tommy, she didn’t come.”

He looked up from the mess of paperwork scattered across his desk. “Excuse me?”

“I couldn’t get her to come.” There wasn’t much else to add to it because there wasn’t anything Polly could say to make the ordeal better.

“I told Ada she needed to be here, so why isn’t she sat in front of me right now?” He pointed at the chair Michael had left.

“I don’t know what else to tell you, she said she couldn’t.”

“She _couldn’t_.” Tommy scoffed and leaned back in his leather desk chair. “That’s funny.”

“You need to realize-”

He interrupted her before she could lecture him about respecting other people’s feelings. “Go into the hall, pick up the phone and call her. Tell her if she’s not here by tonight, she’s in big trouble.”

Even if Polly was appalled by her nephew’s behavior, there wasn’t much she could say. A person in mourning wasn’t the most sensible. “Alright.” She stood up and headed out of the room to put in a call to Kate.

A driver was sent to Birmingham to pick up Kate. She arrived just after dinner. The headlights crossed over the study, alerting Tommy. It was the first time that he’d stayed in the house past dusk since Grace’s funeral. It made him itch because all he could think about was the bedroom they once shared. The bed that remained empty. Tommy wouldn’t ever sleep it in again.

He and Kate hadn’t interacted since the funeral. And even then, they hadn’t spoken. Tommy hadn’t spoken to anyone.

He didn’t watch as she stepped out of the car and walked inside. He kept his eyes steady on the bookcase across the room from him. Simply downing glass after glass of whiskey. There was no sense as to why he just didn’t drink straight from the bottle instead of pouring the correct amount into the same crystal tumbler. Maybe it was just a habit. Or maybe it removed himself from the reality that he was draining the full bottle. Instead, he was just downing a couple of inches at a time. That’s all he’d been doing. Seeing if he could survive another second. Then another and another. Suddenly, the day was gone and the bottle was empty.

“Come in,” Tommy spoke up when he heard a knock at the door.

Kate stepped inside, pulling off her gloves and hat. However, she left on her coat as she realized upon spending a few moments in the room that it was freezing. “You aren’t keeping a fire on in here? It’s drafty.” She looked up around the large room fit for his study. There was a portrait of one of his horses on the wall but other than that, there weren’t many personal items. She knew that he was a man who kept his passions close to the heart and wouldn’t outwardly display them if they weren’t in his best interest. He didn’t wear his heart on his sleeve.

“Why didn’t you come this afternoon when I asked you to?” He didn’t respond to her initial, innocent question. His hand was wrapped tightly around his whiskey glass. His eyes looking not really looking at her but through her. As if she weren’t really standing there. His lips were pursed as he waited for her response.

Kate hit her gloves against her thigh a few times before walking over to the desk to sit. “I don’t know, Tommy.” She admitted. “It’s too soon and I don’t even know what to think.”

“Too soon for what?” There was no give in his voice. No gentleness that he had shown her before.

“Just for-for all of this. For business and communicating and just-” Kate lost her nerve. The entire drive there, she couldn’t come up with one thing to say to Tommy. She had already given him her condolences. He didn’t want sympathy from anyone. She couldn’t offer any explanation because there wasn’t any he wanted to hear. She couldn’t explain the guilt and grief she felt because it felt minuscule to what he was feeling. It was comparing a drop to an ocean. “It’s too soon for you, Tommy.”

He let go of his grip on the glass and busied himself with lighting a cigarette. “You don’t get to tell me what I’m ready for.”

“I’m not. I’m just going off what your family has been telling me.” She folded her hands on her lap, not ready for a fight. That would just be like two wounded fighters dragging their swords into another fight for no good reason.

Tommy focused on his smoke for a bit before he addressed her again. “When I ask you to come to something, you come.”

Kate bit her tongue but still couldn’t keep herself from giving a prickly reply. “If you had things to tell me that was urgent, you could’ve called me.”

“That’s not the fucking point.” He tapped his cigarette against the ashtray.

“Tommy, everything I’ve done for you never matters. What matters is when I can’t do something. Before you pull shit like this, remember that I’ve stretched myself thin to accommodate you and to improve your business dealings. That’s what you brought me in here for, that’s what I’m doing. I’m not a puppet that you can call in any second of any day. Don’t you realize that everyone is suffering to at least some degree?”

Before she could continue, Tommy slammed his open palm on the desk. The loud noise made Kate jump in her seat and go quiet.

Exhausted, running on nothing more than whiskey and cigarettes, Tommy had reached his breaking point. His mind was nothing more than a blurred mess of jumbled thoughts and unbearable emotions. Feelings he was trying his damndest to subdue with alcohol. “Italians killed my wife. John and Arthur are going tomorrow to find their kin and bring him back to me. I won’t kill him right away; I’ll ask him a few questions. And if your fucking name comes up at all-”

Her eyes widened in absolute disbelief. “Are you implying that I had something to do with this!?” Her voice raised in pitch and she stood up.

“This whole time you’ve gone on about Italians being after you. You knew who the Changrettas were.” Tommy pointed a finger at her.

“How dare you?” She gasped in utter shock. Removed from the situation, she might’ve realized that he was just grasping at straws, trying to make sense of the murder of his wife. “You know exactly why this happened and you’re putting it on me? Your brother cut Angel, I told you what sort of hell they would unleash on you but you wouldn’t fucking listen to me!”

“You called her a liar, you wanted her gone!” Tommy rose from his chair to meet her challenge.

“I never wanted her gone! I showed up at that dinner because she asked me to. I showed up to support her and you. I may be a lot of things, Tommy, but I am not vindictive. I know when to walk away, unlike you!”

“Then how did you know about the Changrettas?” He demanded.

“I _told_ you how I knew them. And I know what kind of people they are. I told you what they would do. And I’ll tell you this now. I would never _ever_ work with them or help them in any way. They would sooner sell me out to Santo. So, don’t you ever question my loyalty again!”

Tommy appeared to be out of avenues of accusation. Even in irrational of a state he was drowning in, he had enough sense to hear her defense. The whole time, Tommy wanted desperately to clear his conscious of Grace’s death. He didn’t want to wake up in that pasture every morning knowing that his actions put that bullet in her heart.

He ran a hand over his mouth and returned to his chair. “It was the fucking sapphire then.” He muttered.

“What?”

He shook his head. “The woman I was speaking to before it happened.”

“The duchess,” Kate confirmed.

“She said the sapphire Grace was wearing had been cursed by a gypsy.” He explained.

Her brow furrowed. “And you believe that?”

Weary, Tommy just pinched the bridge of his nose to ward off the pain throbbing in his head.

Kate allowed herself to lower her defenses once she saw that he wasn’t willing to blame her anymore. He was just a grief-stricken man searching for explanations. “I don’t know anything about curses. But does it really matter? You know who did it. They’re going to pay.”

He dropped his hand from his face and look up at the ceiling for a moment. “I need sleep.” He mumbled.

It was clear enough to her. He hadn’t been sleeping because of the guilt. She knew for certain because she wasn’t sleeping either. Not in the cause of the murder. There was no question that she had nothing to do with it. But the whole time Grace and Tommy were married, Kate envied her. She wanted to be in her former agent’s shoes. To be the woman on Tommy’s arm. She prayed that one day Tommy would see that Grace was deceiving him, as she’d done before. Then maybe he would leave her and open himself up for Kate. But she never imagined the murder would happen. That’s not the way she wanted to find her spot beside Tommy. She wouldn’t take advantage of a woman’s death. And yet, she still felt guilt for the feelings she harbored for Tommy. During their marriage and after.

“Then look for absolution,” Kate replied. “However, you see fit.”

Tommy looked at her for a second, the first time he was really seeing her. “If I kill Vincente, Santo Leoni loses another ally.” He said out of the blue.

“You need to be careful. Luca’s still active. If you kill his father, he will come for you.” Kate warned.

“If he’s a man of honor, he’ll understand why I’m doing this.” Tommy picked his cigarette out of the ashtray to finish it.

“You don’t need to worry about me, I can handle myself.” She didn’t want Vincente’s death linked to her in any way. Not even by a thought.

Tommy nodded and opened one of the top drawers of his desk. “I need you to do a couple of things.” He handed her a piece of paper that was folded three times.

“Okay.” She tucked it into her purse. “I’ll look over it when I get home.”

“You can stay the night.” He offered.

The suggestion hit her like a shock down the spine. “No, thank you but I would rather just drive back home.”

“It’s a long drive.”

“Well, you’re the one who wanted me to come at the last moment so I suppose I’ll just be getting back late.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Kate, just stay over for one night, it’s okay. You’re not intruding.”

“That’s not what I’m worried about.” She replied.

The two looked at one another for a short bit. Tommy opened his mouth to say something but she stopped him.

“I’m not someone who fills the space, Tommy. I stand on my own for a good reason. I don’t fit in other people’s lives. You can’t keep me around because you’re lonely.”

Tommy pressed his knuckles into the edge of his desk. The dull aching pressure was enough to remind him he was still there. “Grace wasn’t pregnant.” He told her.

“I know. Polly told me.” She wasn’t sure if he was trying to get a reaction out of her. And if he was, she didn’t know what _kind _of reaction he was looking for. Shock, joy, anger, relief?

“I knew before everything. Before the dinner. She told me the truth.” He rubbed the side of his face, stifling a yawn. “I couldn’t walk away from her. We decided to say she had a miscarriage. Then we’d have children along the line, hopefully.” He took a deep breath. “I thought I had it, Kate.”

There was no way she was going to lecture him or tell him she told him so. She wasn’t there to rub salt in the wounds. She simply saw him as a man who loved a woman at one point. So much so that when she came back into his life, he thought he could realize something that seemed so hard to grasp. A perfect life with a doting wife and children. Maybe he thought it was his only chance. So, he grabbed it and tidied things up along the way as they were needed. In a way, Kate could respect his commitment. “I’m sorry, I wish things worked out for you, I really do. No matter what I thought, or think, I want you to be happy, Tommy.”

“That’s why I never stopped loving you. Even when she came back. I still loved you. I still do, Kate.”

It was a strange concoction of feelings that sunk through her skin. A sense of validation mixed with absolute dread. She had waited so long to hear him reciprocate the feelings she had for him. But never in those circumstances. Her stomach churned. She wanted to admit that she’d never stopped loving him either. She wanted to be happy with him. But it was impossible after what happened the week before. It made her sick to her stomach to think that she wanted to be with him. The guilt was like poison. Making her nauseous and faint.

She stumbled to stand, leaving her hat and gloves behind but managing to grab her purse. “I can’t do this.” She whispered and made an exit for the door.

“Kate. Kate!” He called after her but she was gone before he could stop her. He paused at the doorway, listening to the heavy front doors close. The headlights dashed across the study again, the crunch of gravel under tires signaling her departure.

After she was dropped off back home. Kate was desperate to just go to bed. She couldn’t handle everything, she just wanted to sleep so she didn’t have to cope. Tears in her eyes, she unlocked the door.

“_Micina, _it’s been long enough.”

When she heard his voice, every muscle in her body locked up with fear.

“Turn around, Kathleen, aren’t you excited to see me?”

It felt like her heart wasn’t working properly. But she had to turn around to make sure it wasn’t just a figment of her imagination.

Santo grinned from his spot on the sidewalk a few feet from her front steps. “After all this time and I still make you speechless.” He chuckled and took a few steps toward her. “Now, let's have a little talk.” 


	24. Chapter 24

Kate wasn’t sure if she could move at all. But she didn’t even want to _see _the man in front of her. Everything about him sickened her. He had deep brown eyes but there was hardly any emotion in them other than smug self-assuredness. His dark hair wasn’t slicked back as it usually was. In fact, he wasn’t wearing the same airs he usually did. Not the expensive clothes, polished shoes, gold watch. It indicated to her that he hadn’t been conducting business, but traveling. Traveling from London to Birmingham to catch her off guard.

He stepped toward her with a smile. “No words for me? None at all?”

“I have a gun on me.” She spat out, trying her best to sound fearless. There were so many men who she could dismiss, men she would never be afraid of, men she could take over in minutes. But Santo was different. He knew things about her. He could control her if he wanted to.

“You’re not gonna kill me, you’re smarter than that.”

“Yeah? Seems like a smart idea to me.” She lowered her hand to the edge of her jacket, prepared to reach to her holster tucked beneath.

“Because you know the repercussions already.” He stuck a hand in his pocket, making Kate flinch. “S’alright.” He held one hand up like he was soothing a spooked horse. “Here.” He pulled something out and reached his enclosed fist out to her.

Kate remained on her front steps, watching him warily. “What is it?”

“What, you think I’ve got a live snake in here or somethin’? A spider?” He chuckled. “C’mon.”

She glared at him but stepped down to hold out her palm. Santo gently dropped something gold into it. Still cautious but curious, she examined the piece of jewelry. Her breath caught in her throat when she recognized. The oval-shaped locket wasn’t anything expensive. It was badly tarnished from decades of being worn for so many years. It was the same locket her father had given her mother when they were just lovesick teenagers. It was the locket that her mother had gifted to her when she became of age. It was the locket she had lost when she fled America.

“Where did you find this?” She whispered.

“In Boston, you dropped it on the street before you disappeared.” He answered.

Her expression hardened. “When you set my building on fire.”

He nodded slightly. “I can admit my methods were harsh back then.”

Kate’s fingers curled around the necklace, not willing to let it go again. “You haven’t changed at all.”

“Now, how would you know that? You’ve been running around Europe while I’ve been trying to find you. You don’t know how I’ve changed.” He took another step toward her, almost testing the waters to see how far he could get before she threatened to shoot him again.

She tensed up but didn’t move away. “Was anyone killed?” She asked the question that had been haunting her for years. The screams coming from the burning apartment building still kept her up at night. She never knew if her neighbors were saved or perished. She had no idea the destruction Santo had caused. And yet while he lit the fire, she felt responsible for giving him reason to.

“Come now, Katie, that’s not what I’m here to talk about.” He said in an almost unrecognizably gentle voice.

“I know why you’re here. You’re not going to get what you want.” Kate crossed her arms over her chest, holding her mother’s necklace close to her.

“Could we talk inside?” He gestured to the door.

“You won’t be able to kill me in there and get away with it.” She asserted.

He chuckled and shook his head. “I don’t want you dead, _micina_. C’mon, let’s talk inside.” He passed by her and went up the steps.

It was against her better judgment to let him in. The man she’d been hiding from. But she knew she wasn’t going to get rid of him easily. She wondered if she cooperated even just a little, he might be more lenient. Besides, she was self-assured that if he did try to harm her, she could fend him off.

So, with a deep breath, she went back to the door and unlocked it. She let Santo inside. He acted as if it were an old friend’s home, taking off his hat and coat and hanging them on the wooden pegs by the door.

Feeling awkward and on edge, Kate led him into the kitchen. She sat down and pulled out a cigarette to calm her nerves.

Santo slowly walked behind her, taking in the surroundings as if each piece of her personal belongings were artifacts in a museum. “I didn’t think I’d find you in a place like this.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She asked defensively.

He chuckled and finally found a spot to sit at the table. “I mean, I remember the way you used to live in Boston and Chicago. I mean you used to stay at the Palmer House and the Omni. You knew people, I mean for fuck’s sake Crowninshield wanted to put you on the cover of _Vanity Fair.” _

Kate averted her eyes. They were memories she had chosen to set aside. The lavish lifestyle she once had. Things people in Birmingham didn’t know about. The circles she ran in afforded her things that perhaps someone like her didn’t deserve. Things she ate up because she was just a young woman who wanted the world. It all seemed well and good until she attracted the interest of very dangerous men. One of whom was sitting in her kitchen.

“I was different then.”

“Hm.”

Kate loosened the grip she had on her locket. Instead, setting it on top of the table in a neat pile. “Just tell me what you want, Santo.” 

“It’s not really about what I want, _micina._ It’s about what you want.” He proposed. “Is this really where you want to be? Stuck in this filthy city? You want to be locked up for something someone else did? You’re so much better than that.” He urged.

“You don’t know anything about this place.” She muttered. He made it seem like she was locked up in hell.

“But I know the people you’ve been running with.” His eyes darkened with disapproval. “Thomas Shelby. Him and his brothers don’t know their fucking place. I heard what they did to Kimber. I know what they’ve done. Now you’re suddenly a favorite of his? Where do you think that’s going to lead, Kate?” He questioned.

“Fuck off.”

“And even in London you managed to find the lowest of the low. Alfie Solomons.”

“Don’t you fucking dare.” She warned, not about to allow him to talk shit about a man who actually respected her for the person she was.

Santo took the hint and backed off a bit. “I’m just saying, there’s so much more you were meant for. When was the last time you danced? Do you still have your shoes?”

She did. The ballet pointe shoes that she adored so much. They were perfectly broken in and allowed her to lift up inches beyond how tall she usually stood. She felt like a different person when she laced them up. Someone more elegant and refined. That’s why she didn’t take them out of the box that was carefully tucked under her bed. They would remain there until she was free. Free to finally dance on stage again with a production. Free to have enough space to practice her leaps and spins.

“Kate, that’s all you ever wanted. To be a dancer no one could take their eyes off of. You didn’t want all this mess. Not here or in America. I can give you more. I can give you what you want. Any company will take you on. You’ll be the lead in every production.” He enticed her with bedazzling dreams of some utopia back in America. “You won’t have to worry about money, or anything. I’ll take care of you until the day I die.”

She was absolutely sick to her stomach. Everything Santo was promising her was so alluring. To finally be free of the burden she’d been carrying for so long. To finally dance again. To put her murky past behind her and just shine. But then she looked into his eyes. There was still nothing there. No emotion, no adoration, no concern. He didn’t hold the same feeling that Tommy. She could recall seeing an array of strong expression in those blue eyes. But Santo never showed her anything. Nothing. Not the respect that people in Birmingham and London did. He never laughed with her like she laughed with John and Arthur or Alfie. Never confided with her like she did with Ada or Lizzie or Polly. He never held her heart in his hand like Tommy did.

“I don’t want that.” She replied. “I may have at one point, but I don’t anymore.”

A flash of anger passed across his face but he seemed to try and suppress it. “So, I can’t convince you with anything? Designer clothes, five story town-house on Beacon Hill, cars? Nothing?”

She shook her head. “No.” She knew what she wanted. She wanted Tommy. She wanted the Shelby family. She wanted the relationships she had cultivated over the last couple of years.

“Well.” He cleared his throat and stood. “I suppose I can’t force you into anything.”

It was surprising to Kate that he was ceding so quickly or easily. “Um…okay.”

He pointed to the locket. “May I?”

Wary, she nodded and stood up. Santo picked up the locket as she brushed her hair away from her neck. He placed it around her neck and fixed the clasp.

When she expected him to step away, instead he grabbed her by the neck. His fingers dug into her throat, threatening to completely cut off her air supply. She reacted quickly out of shock, scratching at his hands to get him off her.

But he only tightened his grip and leaned in close to her ear. “You’ll come back to America with me, whether you like it or not.” He hissed. “I’d give you the fucking world and you turn me down? Not happening.”

“You can kill me.” She rasped, still clawing at his skin and trying to elbow his torso. “I don’t give a fuck.”

He let out a low chuckle. “I know you don’t. That’s why I won’t kill you. If I had wanted you dead, you never would have made it out of Boston alive. No, no, I’m not going to kill you. I’m going to kill those fucking gypsies that you seem to like so much. I’ll kill that fucking Jew if I have to. I’ll make you watch as I burn down this disgusting city. I’ll make you watch as I slit their throats.”

Tears began to slip down Kate’s cheeks. She had been so naïve to think Santo would let her off the hook. This was much more like the man she once knew. Violent and psychotic. “Please.”

“Please? Please what? You want me to spare their lives?” He asked in a simpering tone. “Do they really mean that much to you? Huh?”

Kate felt so weak crying in front of him. She always expected that if he returned, she would either kill him or at least fight tooth and nail. But there she was, crying and helpless against him. She couldn’t kill him. Not when the Changrettas were already breathing down Tommy’s neck. Not when he had so many other allies who would be willing to cross the Pond to teach him a lesson. She couldn’t bring harm to the Shelbys. “I’ll do anything. Just leave them.” She gasped for breath.

“Oh, _micina_, I thought you learned not to catch feelings for others. They can always be used as your weakness.” He tsked sarcastically. “Very well. If you go willingly, I’ll leave them all be.” He pressed a kiss to her cheek making her stomach flip with disgust. After a few more moments, he let go of her neck and stepped away from her.

Kate felt her knees buckle as she rubbed her throat and took a few shaky breaths.

“I’ll get tickets to the next ship. Should be less than a week.” He straightened up and acted like everything was all well and fine. I would keep you company for the night but I don’t want to spend another second in this dumpster.” He sniffed. “And you’re smart enough to know that if you run, I’ll keep my promise. Every single one of them will die and it’ll all be your fault.”

She nodded. “Okay.” Her voice was weak and didn’t even sound like her own. “I’ll be here tomorrow.”

Santo smiled, victorious. He had finally won. “Good, sleep well.”

Kate didn’t spare any time. She went right to the phone once Santo left. Her calls to the office, the betting shop, and Arrow House all went unanswered. No one seemed to be around or willing to pick up the phone. She stayed up all night trying to call everyone but didn’t get a response.

Finally, the next morning, she got through to Polly.

“Is Tommy still in Warwickshire?”

“Kate?”

“Is he still there?”

“Yes, we were supposed to meet with him today. He didn’t say to bring you…”

“I need to speak with him.” 

There was a soft sigh over the phoneline but Polly didn’t seem to have the energy to argue. “Alright, I’ll come by to pick you up.

The door to Tommy’s study was locked when Kate tried to barge in. Ada looked alarmed that she had shown up.

“He didn’t need to talk to you today.” The Shelby sister tried to intervene.

“Well, I need to talk to him.” She insisted and banged on the door. “Tommy, open up!”

Polly rand Ada exchanged looks but neither of them knew what was going on. Kate hadn’t disclosed anything to Polly on the drive over.

Finally, the knocking on the door got Tommy to open it. He was stone-faced and didn’t say a word. Instead, he moved right past her.

“Tommy, I need to talk to you there’s something going on and it’s-”

He just kept walking, right out of the room and out of the house entirely.

Close to tears, Kate followed. “Tommy!”

His footsteps crunched across the gravel as he made his way toward the stables.

She finally broke down in tears. Everything was too much to handle and she couldn’t hold her composure for another second. “Tommy, please!” She sobbed.

The agony in her voice made him finally stop and turn around. There was clear pain written across his face. Their last interaction obviously had put them both in drastic moods.

“I’m so sorry, this is all my fault.” She choked out.

He wasn’t sure what she was referring to. Whether it was about walking out on him when he expression his love for her, or not. But he didn’t have the strength to turn away from her. “Sorry for what?” He walked back toward her.

Too overwhelmed, she just let out another sob and shook her head.

“Kate…” That’s when he noticed the fingerprint-shaped bruises around her neck. “Who did this to you?”

She could hardly breathe right, she was all out of sorts. “Santo. Santo did it.”


	25. Chapter 25

Tommy’s blood boiled. Maybe it was because he had assumed his presence in Kate’s life was enough to ward Santo off. He thought his protection was enough. It had been over two years and the man hadn’t tried to approach her at all. Now he appeared out of nowhere and harmed her?

But he couldn’t plan too far ahead as Kate was in tears in front of him.

“I’m so sorry. I never wanted to put this on your family, I should have known better. I should have left sooner.”

“Stop apologizing, s’alright.” Tommy struggled to keep his anger in check. But he knew she didn’t need him to lose his cool. He tried to wrap his arms around her as a comfort but she stepped away from him.

“I have to go.” Her voice broke as she struggled with the words. It was necessary, she knew that, but it was tearing her apart to tell him. “I have to go back to America.”

He frowned. “What? Not with him.” Never in a million years did he think she would willingly go back to the States with Santo.

“I don’t have a choice anymore.” She wiped her tears but it was in vain. Her eye makeup was already smudged there was no hiding her fear.

“Yes, you do. You have a choice to stay here. I won’t let him hurt you, Kate.” He moved toward her, reaching out and cupping her cheek.

“He won’t hurt me.” She hiccupped and wrapped her fingers around his wrist. It was impossible to push him away. She couldn’t help but indulge in his touch. Something that was so fleeting in her life. It was difficult enough knowing that she would never really know what it was like to be loved by him. But perhaps those little touches would be enough.

“Kate-”

“He said he’d kill you. He’d kill your family. He’d kill Alfie. I could never let that happen so I have to leave. I have to-I can’t let him-I can’t-” Kate’s knees went weak.

Tommy enveloped her in his arms, not letting her crumble to the ground. He pressed a hand to the back of her head, letting her bury her face in his chest as she cried. His jaw tensed as he held her upright. He was ready to end this chapter in Kate’s life. No more would she have to worry about Santo. She could be content to live there with him for as long as she pleased. “I love you.”

She sobbed harder against his white button-down. “Tommy, please, don’t. You’ll only make it worse.” She begged.

“I love you, Kate. And I won’t let that bastard do anything. He can’t come into my fucking territory and threaten anyone.” He asserted.

Being held by him, for a moment, Kate could believe him. His arms were so strong and warm. She could hear his heart beating fast against his chest. It felt like a safe haven, a shield. But she had enough sense to know it wouldn’t be enough.

“I need to face facts. I’ve been running too long and I just can’t anymore.” She tried to get a hold of herself but Tommy wasn’t making it any easier on her. She didn’t want him to let go of her even if she knew it had to be done. “I can’t hide anymore. There are just things you won’t understand. Things I can’t tell you.”

“You don’t need to tell me anything.” Tommy wasn’t too keen on letting her go either. He let his fingers slip through her hair, his other hand resting on her back, drawing her flush to him. She felt so much smaller in his arms than she usually seemed. Her personality gave her a larger than life presence. But when Tommy could wrap her up in his arms, she felt more fragile. She shook like a leaf, but there was a warmth to her that made him breathe a bit slower.

“I love you, Tommy.” She looked up at him. “But this isn’t your fight, it’s mine.”

He shook his head. “You’re wrong. He made it my fight when he put his fucking hands on you.”

Kate could see the flash of anger behind his eyes. “But-”

“Let’s get you inside.” He stopped her and reluctantly let go of her. “We can talk more in there.”

As Kate sat and listened, Tommy informed his brothers of the situation. John and Arthur kept throwing her small looks of concern but she couldn’t say anything. She was too deep in thought. She hardly even heard Tommy instruct the two on what they were going to do. But she got the general gist of the plan.

Santo would be taking Kate to the port to leave for America. Meanwhile, the Shelbys would step in and get them to a quieter location. There, Tommy could dispose of Santo. Done and done. It sounded simple enough but it relied on knowing if Santo would have any sort of backup on hand and on Kate convincing him that she was going with him willingly.

Once things were detailed out, Tommy sent John and Arthur to go get started on the plot. After they left, he knelt down in front of Kate.

She forced a smile and cautiously let her fingertips graze over his cheek. He leaned into her touch. She let out a choked laugh. “Y’know I think I fell in love with you the second you helped me in Paris.”

The corner of his lips turned upward. “Yeah?”

“I guess I just never recognized it because I’ve never been in love before.” She admitted sheepishly.

He chuckled and rested a hand over hers. “Things will be alright. You trust me, aye?”

Kate swallowed and nodded.

“Good.” He stood up and kissed her forehead. The gesture was so tender that it brought fresh tears to her eyes.

Kate returned to Small Heath soon after. It was difficult for Tommy because it felt like he was sending her off to a lion for a feast. Knowing Santo was out there, aware of where she was, it made him extremely uneasy. But she had to play the part in order for their plan to go through.

So, she went back into her flat and began the task of packing her things. She took her time, carefully folding each piece of clothing. Most of it was from Birmingham. There wasn’t much she had brought from Paris all those years ago. The red dress she wore to her first derby when she had to step out in front of Grace to protect her from Billy Kimber. The dress she wore to the reopening of the Garrison when Tommy asked her to burn her past. The dress she wore to Epsom when she thought she truly had lost the only man she ever loved. The dress she wore to Grace and Tommy’s wedding. The dress she wore to the dinner. The dress she wore to the funeral. Each of them carefully packed away in her suitcase.

The sun was set by the time she was done. And when she was finished, she sat at her small kitchen table and began to write a letter.

It was three days before Santo returned with the tickets. He called several times each day to make sure she hadn’t fled. Each time she heard his voice it filled her with dread. But it was nothing like seeing him at the door. Her stomach dropped when he smiled. He knew he had won.

“Ready?”

Kate nodded and lifted her suitcase.

“Oh, no, allow me.” He picked up the case and brought it to the car that was waiting.

As she walked to the open car door, she happened to meet the eye of someone she didn’t recognize. But they were watching her. And when she reached the car, the man sitting on the stoop of the flat across the street, stood and immediately lit a cigarette. His eyes flitted to the rooftop above her head.

It was no coincidence. It was a signal. The Shelbys had been informed she was leaving.

Santo tried to engage her in conversation on the train ride to the docks. But when she refused to answer, he resorted to reading his newspaper. After all, he couldn’t hurt her while they were in public. Kate knew to take advantage of that fact.

She simply looked out the window of the train car as the world passed by so quickly. Her heart was racing and she couldn’t stop fidgeting.

Santo appeared to notice but he only glanced up at her from over his newspaper for a brief moment. She met his eyes but didn’t let anything by as far as her facial expressions. So he frowned and returned to his reading.

The line to board the ship was long and it would obviously take time to get on. Santo didn’t seem too bothered and even struck up a casual conversation with the man ahead of him about a rugby match or a football match, Kate wasn’t sure. She didn’t care. There were other plans on her mind.

She touched Santo’s arm to get his attention. “I’m just going to ask that officer if he knows how long this will take.”

He looked at her with a bit of distrust. But it seemed that the gesture of showing him some sort of affection was enough to sway him over. “Alright, go ahead.” He nodded.

Kate left her case with him and went to approach the police officer who was managing the line. She pulled out her purse and got his attention.

There was no reason to fan out. Tommy, Arthur, and John could look like they were blending in, no problem. He reckoned it wouldn’t be too difficult to get to Kate and Santo in the line. It was a gamble, however, in trying to get them to another location. Tommy couldn’t analyze a man he’d never met. But he could bargain that Santo wouldn’t cry out for help from the police. Most mafia men didn’t. And Tommy expected that three to one were some good odds. Above all, he was relying on his adrenaline and determination to see him through.

But the three brothers didn’t even make it past the sidewalk. There, five uniformed police officers were waiting. One seemed to recognize him and held out a hand to stop him.

“’Scuse me, sir, need to have a word with you.” The cop said.

Two officers each began to surround John and Arthur, starting to remove their caps and frisk them for weapons.

“What’s the issue?” Tommy asked, not in the mood to deal with the police.

“There’s been a report that three men of your description are in a conspiracy to attack this ship.”

“Bollocks.” John scoffed and rolled his eyes, clearly not pleased with the men going through his pockets.

“Afraid you’re mistaken.” Tommy was tense but tried to keep a cool head. “We’re just here to see some family off.”

“Sir,” One of the officers removed a pistol from Arthur’s holster.

Tommy looked over the man’s shoulder and saw that the line to board the ship was dwindling. Anxious that they were running out of time, or were already too late, he tried to hasten the interaction. “How much will it take for you boys to turn a blind eye, aye? Name your price and let us be on our way.”

“’Fraid that’s not how it works.” The cop in front of him looked angered with the idea of bribery.

Tommy swallowed, his eyes locked on the line of people that was disappearing over the gangplank of the ship. “Fuck…” He whispered under his breath. And in a move that never failed, Tommy faked out the officer and ducked around him to sprint toward the line. “Kate!” He called. There wasn’t enough time to be conspicuous. He had to act now. “Kate!”

But none of the people in line turned. There were less than ten people still waiting. None of them were Kate. She was already on the ship.

Dread dropped to Tommy’s stomach like a large ice cube. He continued running to the railing of the dock overlooking the ocean. “KATE!” He shouted.

The ship's horn sounded loudly over the port. A deafening signal that he was too late.

Moments later, the police officer caught up to him and accosted him, roughly wrenching his arms behind his back.

“Sir, you’re under arrest…”

The words fell on deaf ears. Tommy couldn’t tear his eyes from the ship. He had lost her. Someone knew about their plot and stepped in to stop them. She was gone.


	26. Chapter 26

_When the devil catches up to you, what do you do? Do you fight? Or do you admit defeat? _

Normally, it would be fairly easy to get Tommy out of jail, especially if it was a minor offense like breaching the peace. The Shelbys had enough pull in that sector. But it didn’t help his case that he punched one of the officers so hard that it burst a blood vessel in his eye. Still, they managed to get him released before dark the same day. Even by that time, he was still raging.

“That bastard knew we were coming.” He ranted as he stormed through the betting shop.

Polly was standing in the doorway of her office, arms crossed over her chest. “I wouldn’t be so sure of that, Thomas.”

He stopped to glare at her. “What was that?”

She pointed to his office. “She left a letter for you. I found it after you left.”

Tommy almost hesitated to go read it. He was worried what it might say. Still, he didn’t have much of a choice, so he went into his office, taking off his coat and cap as he went. As Polly said, there was an envelope sitting on his desk, addressed to him. The envelope was the same type as the ones they used in the office. Maybe she had swiped one when she was passing through. The past couple of years, Tommy had grown to recognize her handwriting. Just like he recognized the scent of her perfume, her laugh, and even the sound of her heels walking down the hallway. But he was completely unaware that he had been cataloging all these little tells. No idea that she had made such a deep impression on him. Well, he didn’t know until she was gone.

Bracing himself, he sat down at his desk and lit a cigarette. He opened the envelope and removed the folded parchment paper.

_Dear Tommy, _

_ By now you’ll know I’ve left and I don’t intend on coming back. I’m sorry it had to happen this way, but I wanted you to know that you did everything you could. In the end, this is just the way it has to be. I don’t feel I have enough time to tell you everything I want to tell you. I blame myself for that. Maybe if I had been more honest, I wouldn’t feel like I was leaving loose ends. But that’s my burden I have to carry, not yours._

_ There are a lot of explanations as to why I did what I did. When the devil catches up to you, what do you do? Do you fight? Or do you admit defeat? When Santo threatened you and your family, I made up my mind. I’m not a martyr, I’m the one who brought this trouble to you in the first place. It’s my responsibility to take care of it. So that’s what I’m doing now. I don’t want you at war with Santo or the Changrettas. Your family has had enough heartache as it is. To start a battle with them would only bring more grief. _

_ I obviously can’t control you, but I would urge you to just leave it be. Don’t try to find me in America and don’t try to cause anymore trouble with the Italians. Just leave it be. _

_ Please know that I’ve left my heart with you. I know I won’t ever love anyone the way I’ve loved you. _

_ Please give everyone my love, including the boys in Camden Town. _

_ Always, _

_ Kate. _

Tommy was heartbroken. Heartbroken and furious. It was a strikingly same feeling to when Grace admitted she wasn’t pregnant. Betrayed was too weak of a word. But was it that simple? His eyes scanned the letter again. She had done it to protect him and his family. Why wasn’t he enough? Why couldn’t she trust that he would take care of her? Maybe he hadn’t proved it well enough to her. Maybe she saw how Grace collapsed in that ballroom, blood pouring from her wound, and thought she would be the next victim if she stayed.

He stood up, throwing the letter to the side and pacing like a rabid dog in front of his desk. After his fourth or fifth pass, he couldn’t contain his grief. He threw a right hook at the wall with enough force to put a crack through the plaster. His brain didn’t even register the pain.

Polly stepped into his office when she heard the loud bang. Her nephew sank to his knees, cradling his bloodied knuckles to his chest. He hunched over his head low. She could remember a time when he was in the same position. Only a young man finding out his mother had passed. It seemed to be the start. The formation of a man he currently was. Life continued to throw hurdles at him, relentless blows that he tried to take with a brave face. But even when he moved past the troubles, he left a piece of himself behind.

Polly couldn’t guess what he needed most. His family could love him until the end of time but it didn’t seem to be enough. There was always something missing.

Kate couldn’t even begin to understand all the different emotions that hit her when they docked in Boston Harbor. When she stepped off the gangplank, she tried not to think about how many miles were now between her and Birmingham. She figured the less she tried to think about it, the better off she would be. The less heartbroken she would be. 

She was full of trepidation. Santo hadn’t said much to her on the voyage across the Atlantic. It was almost as if he was waiting until they were finally back in his territory. Back where he felt most in control. And once he was back in that seat of power, there was no telling what he would do to her.

Santo led Kate through the crowd of passengers to a Bugatti that was waiting for them.

A well-dressed man stood near it and smiled when they approached. “Well, well, well, if it isn’t Miss Kate. Been quite some time, hasn’t it?”

She was well familiar with those who were closest to Santo. Every one of them was insufferable in her opinion. Only low-lifes wanted to cling to him. “Mick.” She muttered a begrudging greeting in response.

“She looks a little down, boss, was it something I said?” Mickey asked with a hand to his heart, pretending to be offended.

Santo chuckled and put a hand on Kate’s shoulder, pressing his fingers in a bit firmer than was necessary. “She’s just tired from the journey is all.”

Mickey opened the back door of the car for them. “Well, ain’t too long of a drive back. Welcome home, Katie.”

The North End had been Santo’s home base since the beginning. The strong Italian community there was where he grew up and prospered. Kate had been there but was raised in South Boston, so she didn’t feel very at home there. She didn’t feel very at home at all in the city. It felt like such a distant part of her past, a part she wasn’t willing to revisit.

Mickey drove them through the winding, narrow streets of the North End until they reached Santo’s home. He brought their luggage inside while they stood out on the sidewalk.

Santo wrapped an arm around Kate’s waist, pulling her close. “What’d you think? Good spot, isn’t it? Got everything you need around too. Don’t have to go far for anything.”

Kate felt nauseated as she looked up at the building.

“C’mon.” He ushered her inside and upstairs.

It was a significantly nicer place than Kate’s flat back in Small Heath. The sitting room had dark wood walls and a few stiff armchairs and sofas. Santo’s wealth was on display with art pieces on the wall, gold accents, and fragile vases adorning the side tables. The corridor led to a dining room and kitchen. Another set of stairs led up to the bedrooms. 

“Big improvement from that shit hole I think.” He remarked from the doorway as he watched Kate look around. 

“I hate it.” She replied and glared at him pointedly.

She saw a flash of anger in his eyes but he just chuckled. “Well, you’ll learn to like it, won’t you?” He moved toward her. "This will be your home, so I think it'll grow on you."

“You stay the fuck away from me.” She warned and tried to back away from him but the back of her knees hit an arm of the sofa.

“_Micina, _I don’t want to fight with you. This was the arrangement. This is what you understood and agreed to before you left. Either you got the money or you married me. Simple as that. Now that you’re back, you’re going to honor that agreement.”

“I’ll honor your agreement. But I’ll loathe you until the day I die. I’ll be fucking sick to my stomach whenever I look at you. I’ll hate every moment I’m in the same room as you. I’ll wake up every morning wishing you were dead.” She spat and squared her shoulders.

That’s the breaking point she reached. Santo grabbed a fistful of her hair and slammed her face up against the nearest wall. He leaned in close to whisper in her ear. “Listen here, you ungrateful bitch. You’ll learn to appreciate me. I own you now and there’s not a goddamn thing you can do about it. If you fight me, if you insult me, if you ruin my image, I will send my men over to kill your beloved gypsies. And I’ll have them come back with all their heads in boxes so you can open them and see what you’ve done.”

Kate wasn’t focused on the ache throbbing in her face or the pain from him pulling her hair. She was trying not to cry so to show him he wouldn’t beat her. In the end, her dignity was all she had left. He would never take that from her. “Burn in hell.” She snarled.

“You fucking whore.” He let go of her hair and shoved her away from the wall just so he could slap her across the face. “Just you wait. If I have to beat obedience into you, I fucking will.” He jabbed a finger at her. “Now go upstairs and clean yourself up. You still smell like that disgusting city.”

Kate stormed past him and up the stairs to the third story. She found the bathroom and locked herself in it. It was devastating to see herself in the mirror. Her lip was bloodied and she already had a bruise forming on her temple. Her hair was in disarray and her eye makeup was smudged. She was furious with herself. Furious that she had fallen so low by her own fault. She let out a scream of frustration and punched the mirror. The surface cracked and distorted her reflection. Blood dripped from her knuckles as she gripped the edge of the sink.

She didn’t care if she had to fight him every day for the rest of her life. Santo would receive nothing from her. No peace. No love. No acceptance. Nothing.

If Kate had been there, Tommy might have admitted he was in way over his head. With everything from the Russians to Father Hughes, he felt at his wits end. Late at night, when he couldn’t sleep, he tried to imagine what Kate might say to him.

_I’m always right, Tommy, that’s why you should listen to me more. _

She was nearly always right. He longed for her to be there, to tell him she was right.

“How many hours of sleep are you getting?” Polly asked moments after Esme and Lizzie left the sitting room. They had been there confronting him about bathrooms then suddenly about the robbery. God, it made his head spin.

Tommy sat down at the table. “Doesn’t fucking matter. What matters is I can’t trust Esme and I can’t trust the fucking Russians and I can’t trust me own fucking brother with anything.” He snapped agitatedly.

His aunt watched him as she lit a cigarette. “You would’ve trusted Kate with the information.”

There was no denying the facial tic when he heard her name. Many people had been wary to mention her in front of him, afraid it would set him off or just send him into a darker place. But Polly didn’t fear him.

“Kate didn’t run her mouth.” He muttered in reply, his eyes going down.

“You’re right. She kept secrets well.”

That only seemed to annoy him more. “You know there is a general lack of discipline in this fucking company.” He complained if anything just to try and steer the conversation elsewhere.

“She made her decision. It can’t keep you occupied or things will go badly. You need to focus on what you’re dealing with now.” Polly advised.

“I’m getting her back, Pol.” He spoke in a clipped manner. “I’m bringing her back home.”

“Tommy…”

“I just-I just need to kill that fucking priest and to have everything go to plan.”

“You’re grieving.” She said calmly. “Of course, you are. You lost Grace and now you’ve lost her. But I know that you make bad choices when you grieve. Now more than ever, you need a level head. Maybe you need to forget her for the time being and take care of what you can here.” It wasn’t for Polly to decide who was right or wrong. She had no ill-will toward Kate, in fact, she had always appreciated her presence to be another one of logical thinking. But she felt it was very far-fetched for Tommy to try and launch a rescue mission. Especially because she didn’t know what sort of messes they would get tangled in if he tried. Facing America mobsters on their own turf was the last thing the family needed. Not when they were already wrapped up in some convoluted plan.

“I’ll forget her when hell freezes over.” Tommy stood up. “I only told you about the priest, keep it that way.” He urged before he left in a huff.


	27. Chapter 27

There was whistling in the air. Tommy couldn’t quite decipher where its source was or even _what _it was. It sounded a bit like a human but there was no change in pitch or hint of a tune.

Suddenly, he felt his body lurch forward and he stumbled to the ground. His palms were pressed to the metal of a train station. The whistling was suddenly all he could hear. He could now tell it was a train whistle.

Someone grabbed him by the arm and pulled him up. A nameless face in a military uniform. “On your feet, soldier, we won!” He exclaimed.

Tommy blinked a few times and the swarm of people flooded his senses. Men in uniform greeting long awaiting family members. Fathers seeing their little children for the first time in years, wives embracing their husbands, siblings reuniting, mothers and fathers holding their heroic son who survived long enough to tell the tale.

“Tom.”

He turned and saw someone standing among the crowd. She was in a blue dress. It was Greta no but…it wasn’t. She wasn’t there. She was dead before the war even started. It was Grace? That was impossible too.

“You must hate America for coming so late.”

Kate had said that to him. A long time ago. Back when they had met in Paris.

When she stepped closer, he could see that it was, indeed, her. Tommy opened his mouth but found he couldn’t speak.

“You don’t have to say anything.”

But there was so much he needed to say to her. He continued to try to force the words out. His head was throbbing with pain. His mouth was dry. Every muscle in his body felt weak.

“I left my heart with you, Tommy, have you been keeping care of it?”

Why was she asking him questions if she knew he could respond.

“Did you give everyone my love? Even Alfie? I know you two pretend not to get along.” She laughed softly. 

He felt the urge to get closer to her. Maybe if he got closer, he could speak again. But his legs wouldn’t budge.

“I won’t ever love anyone the way I’ve loved you.”

More and more soldiers crowded around him, jostling him. The mob got so big that the image of Kate was hidden away.

He tried to yell for her. She couldn’t leave him, not again.

Suddenly, he was shoved backward and he fell into a narrow but deep trench.

“Tom!”

The walls of the trench began to cave in. Heavy piles of dirt collapsed onto him, burying him alive, suffocating him.

“What do you do when the devil catches up to you, Tommy?”

His lungs were straining for air as he used his hands to claw his way out of his grave.

“Do you fight?”

“Do you admit defeat?”

Everything went dark. Was that it? Was he dead? Maybe everything had been a dream. This whole time he was still buried in a tunnel in France. Kate was nothing more than an illusion he had conjured up in his final moments.

“Tom?” Her voice whispered to him. It was such a lulling tone, something so soft. “Tommy?”

He went completely still, encased in something heavy. It wasn’t dirt, it was something softer. Something smooth but still dense and weighed on him.

“Tommy, you have to wake up now. I’m still in danger.”

Tommy lurched forward, startling Ada who was sat beside his hospital bed. He tried his best to move, to get up, but he was still burdened by the same feeling that had been in his dreams.

“Tommy, Tom!” Ada stood up, tossing her book to the side so she could grab ahold of his arms. “Stop fighting, it’s okay.” She urged.

His vision was slightly blurred, but he could recognize his sister’s voice over the agonizing pounding in his head.

“Calm down, you’re okay. You’re safe.” She only released her hold on him when she felt his muscles relax. Ada could see the fear and confusion in his blue eyes as they stared up at the ceiling. His head was immobilized by a metal brace to keep him from moving and further injuring himself.

Tommy’s breathing steadied and he let himself sink back into the thin hospital mattress. He opened his mouth but realized he still couldn’t speak.

“They had to do surgery on you. You had major trauma to the brain.” Ada explained. It was all she could do not to cry at the state of her older brother. In her eyes, he had always been the toughest person she ever knew. To see him completely incapacitated was frightening to her. She had seen her brothers bruised and bloodied, shot even. But this was so much different. He was almost unrecognizable. His skin pale as a ghost, dark shadows circled his eyes and the stitches. God, the stitches. They had shaved a patch of his hair and what was left were ghastly rows of stitches that Ada couldn’t even look at.

Tommy opened his mouth but closed it again. It was no use, he couldn’t speak.

“Rest,” Ada said softly, her voice sticking in her throat. “Just try to rest.”

Men watched the apartment for two weeks. Apparently, it was the time period for Santo to trust Kate enough to let her go unsupervised. Not that it mattered much, he had enough sense to know that she was stuck there. She wouldn’t risk the lives of the Shelbys.

Still, he made it clear that he controlled her. With a sly remark or something a bit more forceful, he ensured she never forgot.

Kate did everything she could to keep a straight face. The last thing she wanted to give him was a reaction. She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.

One morning, nearly a month since she left Birmingham, Kate was sitting in the kitchen. Santo was getting ready for the day around her.

“You look fucking lifeless sitting there.” He remarked as he came downstairs, adjusting his bracers.

Kate didn’t even look at him. She felt lifeless. He had taken almost everything from her. She could only hold her memories close.

“Why don’t you put some makeup on, liven you up a bit?”

“Fuck off.” She spat and crossed her arms over her chest.

He stopped in place and shot her a glare, but must’ve decided it was too early to fight. “You’ve got an appointment down the street with the dress shop, Anita’s. She’s making you a dress for the wedding. You can go down there at noon.”

“Fine.” She replied tersely. It didn’t get any easier to hear Santo talk about the wedding. But it was something she felt she just needed to accept. She’d made her bed.

“You better be on your best fucking behavior. I heard what you did yesterday.”

Kate had made a scene the day before, but she felt it was warranted. Mickey had made the unfortunate error of making a joke about her father.

“_Well, glad you didn’t fall into the Harbor like your dad did, Katie.” _

She hit him so hard he swore one of his teeth cracked.

“That was his mistake. He was talking about my father.”

Santo abandoned trying to fix his cufflinks. He walked over to her, putting one hand on the table and one on the back of her chair. “He can talk about whoever the fuck he wants. He can talk about your gypsies in Birmingham, your whore of a mother, your drunk of a father, he can talk about any of them. You need to learn to shut your fucking mouth and keep your hands to yourself. You’ve got no one left, Kathleen. No one. No one’s gonna to come to your rescue. No one’s gonna take you away from here. So, you better learn to behave.”

“Or what?” She lifted her head to glare back at him. “You won’t kill me. We both know why.”

Santo’s grip on the chair tightened. “Yeah? You think you’re so smart?” He challenged.

“You know I still have contacts here. People who hate you almost as much as I do. They know I’m here now. And if I come up missing? It won’t be good.”

His eyes narrowed. “You’re bluffing.”

“Try me.” She hissed.

Santo picked up the glass of water beside her plate and threw it against the wall. “If I hear you’ve been talking to anyone, I’ll go through with my word.” He warned with a finger in her face. “That gypsy is dead if you do anything so you watch your fucking mouth.”

The mention of Tommy was always enough to quiet her down. As much as she wanted to fight Santo, she knew there was a fine line. There was the potential that she could make him mad enough to go after Tommy. 

Santo backed off and finished putting on his cufflinks. “I’m leaving.” He said in a curt voice. “Clean this shit up.” He kicked a piece of the broken glass across the floor as he left the kitchen.

“Tommy, are you coming to see me soon?”

There she was again. Her blonde hair curled and framing her heart-shaped face. Her eyes a deep cobalt. This time she was wearing a lilac-colored dress. Something casual. She looked so happy.

“You left me.” He replied. “I tried to keep you here. The police…”

She smiled and fixed a piece of her hair. “Don’t you miss me though?”

“Of course. I told you I loved you.”

“Come find me then.” She held out a hand to him but it began to vanish like sand blowing away in the wind. The rest of her began to fade as well before she was gone like a wisp of smoke.

“Kate?” Tommy tried to move forward to see where she went but it felt like his feet were stuck. He looked down to see he was sinking into mud. The same mud he had to live in for years in the trenches. The sky darkened and he found himself in a tunnel. Dim lanterns lit the way as he shuffled his way to the end, crouched down with his head ducked low. He paused when there was a loud explosion from above, shaking the earth around him and the flimsy beams.

“I’m not safe here, Tommy.” Her voice echoed throughout the tunnel but he couldn’t see her.

His legs were still weighed down. Every step was a familiar movement of sloshing through a foot of freezing cold water. It made his entire body feel numb.

“I’m not safe.”

“Kate!” He shouted. The lantern light flickered as he tried to move deeper and deeper into the tunnel.

“I want to go home.”

“Mr. Shelby?” There was another voice from behind, beckoning him back to the surface. But Tommy knew he needed to find Kate. He tried to keep moving forward but someone was pulling him backward. “Mr. Shelby?”

Tommy groggily opened his eyes and realized it was nothing more than a hallucination. A side effect from the highs he had been relying on to ease the pain. A nurse was by his bedside. And although his vision was still a little distorted from the opium, he knew he was slipping back into reality.

“How are you feeling, Mr. Shelby?”

“Like I shouldn’t be alive.” He muttered.

When Tommy was lucid enough, Ada would come for visits. She was relieved by his improvement. He could talk without any delays and was sitting up on his own again. The doctor overseeing his recovery said they could soon try to get him walking again. The rehabilitation process was long but Ada was finally confident he would be okay in the long run.

In the meantime, she kept him company to try and break up his monotonous days of laying in the hospital doing nothing. At first, she tried to keep the conversation away from business but Tommy badgered her so much that she had to become a sort of messenger.

For weeks, he didn’t speak about Kate. Ada almost questioned whether the brain injury had caused him to forget about her. It was sort of a gray area whether that would be a blessing or a curse. Ada knew her brother already had enough to deal with even without the injury he suffered.

Then out of the blue, one day, he brought her name up.

“I need you to bring Arthur here, I have a job for him.” Tommy said one morning that Ada was visiting.

She nodded. “Can I ask what for?”

Tommy exhaled a breath of cigarette smoke, watching it intermingle with the small beams of light filtering in from the small window. “I need him to recruit three able-bodied and trustworthy men.”

His sister frowned and continued to press him. “For what?”

“They’re going to go to Boston and locate Kate.”

“Tommy…”

“This isn’t up for debate.” He winced as he tried to tilt forward so he could put out his cigarette. “Just do as I say.”

Ada chewed on her lip. “I understand why.” She said softly. “I would do anything to bring Freddie back. But sometimes you just need to learn how to move on too. Polly said it was her choice to stay or not and she left.”

“It’s because he threatened us then ran to America with her like the rat bastard he is. Wasn’t even man enough to fucking face me.” Tommy grimaced from the pain starting to rear up in his head again.

His sister looked at him with sadness in her eyes. She couldn’t tell him how much she worried about him. He would never understand. “It’s too much, Tommy. You can’t handle all of this right now.”

There was a knock at the door and a nurse came in with morphine as scheduled. “Mr. Shelby, you’re due for your medication.”

“Thank you.” Tommy cleared his throat. “My sister was just leaving.” 

Ada lingered but realized he wasn’t going to change his mind, so she stood up with a sigh and gathered her things. “I’ll talk to Arthur.” She said and touched his shoulder before heading out the door.

Three men were selected and sent to Boston under strict orders. They were to find Kate. Once they did, they were to find lodging nearby and lay low. Any information about Santo’s routine would be written down and relayed to Arthur or Tommy. None of them were to interact with Kate in any way. They were simply there to observe. That way, when Tommy rid of the priest and got what he was owed by the Russians, he could cross the Atlantic, put a bullet in Santo’s head, and bring Kate home.

Months passed as Tommy slowly returned to the man he was before. He went back to Arrow House to finish recovering and to continue planning. While he was on his feet again, there was a chip on his shoulder. The injury had delayed him significantly. A delay in the plan with the Russians meant there was a delay with getting back to Kate. It frustrated Tommy to no end whenever he felt the scars on his scalp. Sometimes he thought about how he would explain it to Kate. He imagined her running her fingers through his hair and raising an eyebrow at him.

“_What’s this?” _

She might part his hair to see the scars hidden beneath.

God, it wouldn’t even matter then. The injury, the robbery, the priest, none of it would matter by then. Everything would be okay. Things would be settled and he could make amends. He could make things right. He _would _make things right.


	28. Chapter 28

Tommy stepped into his study to find Alfie standing by the window in a wide-brimmed hat.

“Good morning, Alfie.” He made a beeline to the liquor cart.

The man didn’t turn around as he answered. “Yeah it is. Nice little place you got here, Thomas.” He remarked and turned around, relying on his cane to walk over. “Pleasant staff, s’well. Concerned ‘bout you, they are, said you’re not supposed to drink. What did your housekeeper say? That your head is like some smashed vase that’s been stuck back together by a horse. That right?”

Tommy didn’t say anything as he poured himself a glass of whiskey and went to sit down.

“So why’m I here, aye? Which problem of yours do you want me to come in and wave me magic wand for? ‘Cause word ‘round London is you’ve got a lot of fucking problems, mate. Lot of fucking problems. And as much as I know you enjoy me company, I can bet a lot of money that this visit wasn’t just to say hello.” Alfie sat down as well.

“You’re correct.” Tommy needed Alfie’s help, in order to secure that, he knew he needed to appeal to the man. This wasn’t the time for their famous face-offs with guns and threats.

“You’ve lost control, haven’t you, hm?” He rested his hands on the top of his cane, his rings on full display. “’Bout time innit? You’ve been hanging on to a thread for quite some time, haven’t you?”

Tommy downed his whiskey and set the crystal glass on his desk. “I’ve got control, Alfie, you don’t have to worry about that.”

“That right?” Alfie raised an eyebrow in skepticism. “Tell me then, oh wise one, d’you even know if she’s still alive?”

Somehow, the information about Kate had been passed to Alfie. Tommy couldn’t exactly remember how; his memory was still spotty. He couldn’t remember if he had sent a telegram before the injury, or he’d told Ada to send word. It didn’t matter. He pulled out a piece of paper from inside his jacket pocket. Notes he’d gotten from one of his men in America. “Twenty-six Prince Street, Boston, Massachusetts. It’s a four-story brick townhouse across from a church and a park. She takes a walk every morning around seven down the street to the docks. She leaves right before he leaves for work.”

Alfie narrowed his eyes. It was some relief to hear Kate was still alive, but that didn’t mean she was safe. “Yeah? Think you’re smart with that little information, aye? What do you plan on doing ‘bout it?”

“You help me with business here and the second it’s done; I’ll go over to America. When Kate’s on her walk, I’ll kill him for invading my territory, putting his hands on a woman, and threatening my life and the lives of my family. It’s up to Kate whether she wants to come back or not.”

Alfie leaned back, flexing his fingers with a dissatisfied look. “By a thread, Tommy, you’re hanging on by a thread. Can see it in your eyes. But, since I’m such a giving fellow, I’ll help you out with whatever madness you can cook up. You ain't the only one who wants that fucker dead.”

The corner of Tommy’s lips turned up a bit. “Very well. Let’s bring in the rest of the troops.”

Kate didn’t mind the wind. She didn’t mind the chilling sting it whipped across her cheeks. She didn’t mind her hair getting mussed up. She didn’t mind because the wind came from the ocean. It carried the salt-scent through the air and made her feel alive again. It reminded her of the times her mother took her to Revere Beach in the summer. The water was brutally cold pretty much year-round. But that never stopped her from wading along the shoreline, gathering shells or hermit crabs.

The ocean made her feel young. It made her feel nostalgic. It made her feel sad.

The ocean had taken her father. Stumbling drunk, he had fallen into the ocean and drowned. His body washed up two days before her eighteenth birthday. That’s when she was training to be accepted into a ballet company. And to raise funds, she stole her father’s identity to conduct business. Illegal business.

Kate thought about this on her way to the ocean’s edge. It was something she could be thankful for, that she now lived so close to the water’s edge. It was less than a mile’s walk down the street from the apartment. From there, she followed the ocean, walking along the sidewalk that led to various parks. She would find a place to sit to look out over the harbor and watch boats pass by.

She thought about all the things she didn’t tell Tommy. All the lies she kept.

Still, she wasn’t too caught up in her thoughts to neglect her surroundings. No, she’d been mindful of her environment for weeks. Mostly because she was nearly positive someone was following her. Well, three men, actually. And one of them looked sneakily familiar.

One of those men, the tall one with sandy blond hair, was following her.

Kate wasn’t scared. Hell, she was already in a life or death situation every day of the week. Someone tracking her in broad daylight wasn’t anything to be scared of. But she was very curious. And that day, she would get her answer.

Kate stopped at a railing that overlooked the wharf. She rested her arms on the top rail, keeping her eyes out over the dark gray-blue ocean. She waited until the man was close enough.

He paused at the railing at a good distance from her. Pulling out a cigarette, he looked like just a normal bystander. But she knew better. “Y’know, you ought to tell Tommy to be a bit more discrete.”

At the sound of his employer’s name, the man jerked his head in her direction and completely blew his cover.

She raised an eyebrow at him. “Besides, I recognize you from being around the betting shop. He should’ve picked people who I never met. I would think that would be his first criteria.”

The man swallowed and approached her cautiously. “Miss Lynch, Mr. Shelby was just…”

Kate sighed. “I know what he’s doing. I guess I don’t blame him.” She admitted. Seeing how uncomfortable the man looked, she figured he wasn’t meant to be talking to her. “What’s your name again?”

“Patrick, ma’am.” He answered.

“That’s right.” She nodded. “It’s alright. I’m not going to tattle on you.” She smiled weakly and bit her lip. It felt wrong to even talk to him though. She had made her decision, what good was it to lead Tommy on? To give him false hope? But she couldn’t help herself. “How is he?”

Patrick’s brow furrowed as he frowned. “Well, he was roughed up pretty bad couple of months ago.” He admitted. “Had to get brain surgery, they weren’t sure if he were even gonna make it at first.”

Kate’s heart dropped. “What?” She gasped in shock.

“S’alright now. ‘Least that’s what he says over the telephone.

“God…” She held a hand to her mouth in disbelief. “How did it…” But Kate paused. She wasn’t sure she wanted to know what trouble Tommy was getting into. Would it only make her hurt more? Would it make her want to go back even when she knew she couldn’t? Everything in her wanted to know who put Tommy in the hospital. She wanted to make them pay. But it was just in her nature, as well as having so much frustration and anger pent up in her that she was ready to fight anyone. 

“Miss?” Patrick noticed her eyes went a bit glassy as she looked past him.

“I’m okay.” She blinked a few times and shook her head. “So, what’s his plan with you?” She wondered.

“Well, he’s got business to finish up back home.” The young man looked uneasy telling her anything. He’d been under strict orders not to say anything. But he didn’t expect her to even notice they were watching her. “Said he would come over here to give us the rest of the money for the job. Other than that, he didn’t say.”

Kate felt like her heart was in her throat. “Well…that can’t happen.” She suddenly felt panicked that Tommy was making a plan to come to her rescue. And she had learned a while ago that once he made a plan, he stuck to his guns. What could she do to stop him all the way in America? "He can't-"

“Kate!” A woman called down the street, interrupting the thought.

Suddenly, Kate began to realize she was still in Santo’s territory. Suspicion would be raised if word got around that she was talking to a mysterious man. She couldn't talk to anyone without everything she said getting back to him. “Tonight, I’m going to need a letter on this bench.” She whispered to Patrick. “Take it and get it to Tommy, somehow.”

“But…”

“Go, go!” She shooed him off and turned to see who was calling to her. Patrick slipped away, with his hands in his pockets.

Anita, the dressmaker approached from down the sidewalk. “Dear, I’m so glad I ran into you.”

“Everything okay?” Kate smiled. She liked the company of the woman who was making her wedding dress. Even though the wedding was the last thing Kate wanted to think of, Anita made it a pleasant experience.

“Yes! I’m almost finished with the bodice of your dress. Isn’t that exciting?” Anita smiled, assuming it would be a happy moment for the bride-to-be.

After hearing the news about Tommy, Kate’s heart was already in pieces. So, the news didn’t help. “Oh, Anita, that’s-” Her voice broke and she couldn't say anything more.

The woman frowned in concern. “What’s wrong, hun?”

“I just, I’m overwhelmed with everything right now.” Kate tried to brush off her response as something a harried bride would say.

“That’s understandable. Weddings are so much work. But it’ll all be worth it in the end.” Anita promised, lightening up a bit. “Well, I have to run. Come by soon to try on the bodice, make sure it fits right.”

“I will, thanks.” Kate sighed under her breath and turned back to the ocean. She felt like she was drowning. 

“Mr. Shelby?”

Tommy was in the foyer, finishing putting on his cufflinks. It was the morning the orphanage was opening in Birmingham. Despite everything that happened, Tommy decided to keep Grace’s name on the foundation. After all, it was her effort and passion. It wouldn’t be fair to take it from her.

“Yes, Mary?”

Tommy’s maid came into the foyer with a slip of paper. “Telegram came for you.”

“Thank you, could you call the car around?”

“Of course.”

Tommy read over the address the telegram had come from.

**Boston, Massachusetts. Patrick McCormick. **

** Kate recognized me. Wanted to send you a message. Freedom. Beauty. Truth. Love. Stay where you are, Nature Boy. Your family is your greatest thing. Said you’d know what it meant. **

Tommy felt lightheaded. It could’ve been because he was mostly subsisting on cigarettes and whiskey those days. “Fuck.” He whispered as he rubbed his weary eyes. He should’ve known Kate would recognize Patrick. He knew how perceptive she was and knew they had met at one point.

Maybe he’d wanted this. Maybe that’s why he sent Patrick. He knew Kate would recognize him. That would alert her that he was still thinking of her. Convey that he was going to bring her home.

He sighed and tucked the telegram into his inside jacket pocket. He needed to get this plan done. There was no telling what might happen to Kate if he took any longer. And with every passing day, Tommy felt more and more hellbent on killing Santo Leoni. The man had lived long enough. "Mary!" He called. "Need you to send a telegram for me!" 


	29. Chapter 29

It was stifling to have dirt in his throat again even with the cloth over his mouth he could feel the grime coating his lungs. The tight spot of the tunnel was hellish and made every nerve in Tommy’s body scream in panic. There wasn’t any time to decide whether it was just another opium-induced dream. He just had to keep digging.

It happened in a split second. One moment everything was fine at the opening of Grace’s orphanage, then Ada asked where Karl was. The innocent question turned to panic when no one could seem to find the little boy. Then, a harrowing scream came from outside.

“Mum!” Karl’s panicked cry was unmistakable.

They had taken Tommy’s nephew. Now he was a puppet to them, forced to do what they said. There was no way Ada was losing her son, not after everything she’d suffered. And certainly not by Tommy’s fault. So, he drove to the tunnel being dug to the Russian’s vault.

Midnight. They had to get it by midnight.

All his muscles ached as he worked in the cramped, dank, tunnel. He was caked in mud but there was no time to wipe it from his face. No time to rest. No time to breathe.

There was a knock at the door and Kate descended down the stairs to answer it. Santo was working so she had the flat to herself. Yet she wasn’t ready to open the door to a familiar face. Her jaw dropped.

“You happy to see me or what?” The man gave her a signature lopsided smile.

“Frankie…” She whispered. “What on Earth?” Trying to shake off her shock, she herded him into the apartment so no one would notice him standing there. “Are you fucking crazy?” She hissed as she shut the door. “You could be killed for coming around here!

Frank Wallace was the no-nonsense leader of the Gustin Gang. About ten years older than her, he was a strong ally to Kate. Along with his brother, Steve, Frank ran South Boston with an iron fist. Only the strongest men, like Santo, ever tested his power.

“Few of my boys are causing a bit of ruckus to tie up Santo’s men. They won’t ever catch me here.” He smiled confidently.

Still, Kate was sick to her stomach to know he was there. “Why are you here? How did you even know where to find me I haven’t seen you-”

“Since that fucker chased you out of the city.” Frank looked a bit disgusted that he was standing in Santo’s foyer. He appeared to have the same distaste for the décor, even if he didn’t have a good reason to hate it.

“So, how’d you know I was back?”

“Got a telegram from a Mr. Thomas Shelby, in London. Can you fucking believe that?” He grinned like a kid on Christmas day. “Bit more international than I thought, huh?”

“Tommy sent you?” She whispered in shock. Sending Patrick was one thing, but contacting another gang leader?

“Yeah, said something about forming an alliance. Said you’d know something about it. Maybe not, I dunno.” He shrugged.

Kate’s throat started to constrict. Patrick hadn’t done anything to convince Tommy to stay in Birmingham where he belonged. “Frank, you need to get out of here now. He’s got eyes everywhere if he finds out you’ve been here…” She warned and pushed him to the door.

“Santo? Katie, he don’t have anything over you!” He urged. “This fucking debt, s’bullshit! He wants the money you owe, I’ll give you the fucking money. Would’ve given it to you years ago if you’d just asked.”

“It’s not about the money anymore.” The more Tommy pushed, even from afar, the more anxious she became. Tears welled in her eyes when she realized things were coming down to the wire. She needed to intervene before he did something stupid. “He’s threatening the man I love. He’s threatening the family who took care of me when I needed help the most. If I don’t do this then he’ll kill me.”

Frank looked a little taken aback. He’d never seen Kate cry and never before had she admitted any personal feelings no matter how close they were. “Jesus, our Katie’s in love. Thought I’d never see the day.”

She laughed weakly and wiped her eyes. “It’s complicated, and I don’t need you involved either. You’re just another person for Santo to threaten.”

“Sweetheart, that fucker’s been threatening me for years. If he wants to bring this to blows, then he can come down and visit me. Now I’ve been offered an alliance with British people, that’s something to be pretty fucking pleased about. So, I’m gonna obliged this Mr. Shelby.”

“And do what?” She asked.

“To come and see you. Then wait for another telegram. I sent him an agreement; we’ll see if he’s onboard.”

There was nothing she could say to stop Frank from taking advantage of a tempting business offer. Kate felt that the least she could do was get him out of enemy territory. “Then go wait for your telegram. But call me next time, don’t show up like you’re looking for a death wish.” She snapped and hurried him to the door. The longer he stood there, the more anxious she got.

“Alright, alright!” He shooed off her concern. “I’ll call you next time, jeez.” He muttered and flashed her a smile before heading on his way.

Kate looked across the street and noticed Patrick was sitting on the front stoop of the apartment they’d been housed in. He gave her a subtle nod.

Frustrated with Tommy’s persistence, she shut the door and headed to the phone. On her way, she checked the time on the grandfather clock in the parlor. It was eleven in the morning that meant it wouldn’t be too late.

Tommy held the telegram from Frank Wallace in his hand as he went downstairs to dinner. Ada and Karl were staying with him for a bit. After the harrowing kidnapping, they all needed a breather. Ada wanted to get out of the city, Karl wanted to play football on his uncle’s large lawns, and Tommy wanted to keep them close.

Even though the threat of Father Hughes and the Russians was neutralized, he was still paranoid. He was starting to understand the kind of things that happened behind doors and in shadowy alleys. The type of men who were in power and what they could do.

Mary intercepted Tommy at the foot of the stairs. “There’s a telephone call for you, Mr. Shelby.”

“Where from?”

“Boston.”

Tommy frowned. He had only just spoken to Patrick over the phone. There was no reason for him to be calling again when he knew the plan that was in place. Unless something happened. Fear gripped him as he went to the telephone in his study to pick up the call.

“Patrick?”

“It’s not Patrick.”

He didn’t know how hard it would be to hear her voice. The message through the telegram from Patrick was enough to make him weak. But hearing her voice, after so many months apart, it was like an ax being driven through his heart.

“Kate…”

“I need you to listen to me.”

It was like his words were delayed, as if he was still back in that hospital bed, struggling to move. She completely paralyzed him. “Yea-I’m-I’m listening.”

“Frank just stopped by. I don’t know what you’re planning with him but I need you to call off whatever it is.”

Slowly, Tommy sat down at his desk, making sure the telephone wire didn’t snag on anything. “Kate-” 

“Please just listen.” Her voice was shaky but she didn’t stop. “I know you’re not afraid of death. But just try to see it through my eyes. If anything was to happen to your family or you, I would never be able to forgive myself. You don’t know what you’re getting into and I need you to just let it be. I’m begging you, Tommy. Just forget it and move on.”

It was the same argument she had tried to use before in the letter she left. But Tommy was steadfast. He could appreciate her concern, but he didn’t see anything going wrong. “Patrick’s told me a lot. He says he sees the marks on your face.”

“That’s not what this is about…”

“You’re sorely mistaken if you think I’m going to let him get away with what he’s done. He made it my business when he stepped foot in Small Heath. He’s going to die, Kate.”

“Tommy, just listen to yourself! You don’t see what’s right in front of you! It’s the same thing with the Changrettas, I warned you and look what happened!” She cried, desperate to get him to understand. “You’re blind with anger and you know what happens to men who fight with their heart on their sleeve!”

“This isn’t negotiable, Kate.” He considered a conversation with her very precious at that moment. He yearned to see her again but hearing her voice was enough. Still, that didn’t mean he was backing down, even if it killed him inside to waste that precious time arguing with her.

Angry and frustrated, she burst into tears. “I don’t love you!” She shouted. The words grated as they left her mouth. Four words. Only four words and the statement was the most damning lie she’d ever told.

Tommy was silent. He could hear her crying on the other end of the line. “You don’t mean that.” He said quietly.

“Yes, I do. I don’t love you and I-I never want to see you again. So, don’t even try to come looking for me. I won’t be here waiting for you!” It was a desperate attempt. Foolish really, but Kate knew she needed to do everything she could to keep Tommy where he was. It was still agonizing and she sank to her knees, the phone held to her ear.

“Kate, you don’t fucking mean that. I know you don’t. If you were here, you wouldn’t be able to look me in the eye and say it.”

Her chest seized as she sobbed. She was so distraught that she didn’t hear the footsteps coming up behind her. Suddenly, someone pressed on the receiver to end the call.

Tommy frowned when the line went dead. “Kate? Kate!” But there was no one there.

In Boston, Kate’s head whipped up to see Santo standing over her. Fear washed over her as he gave her a sickening smile.

“Who was that on the phone, _micina?”_

She swallowed and looked up at him, unaware of how much of the conversation he’d heard. “Um…no one.” She said in a weak voice.

His eyes darkened and he grabbed a handful of her hair. “Y’know I could come up with such a long list of names for you, but liar always seems to top it.”

Kate yelped as she tried to wriggle out of his grip. “Please, I told him to leave me alone!”

“Yeah? Think I don’t know what’s going on? Why’d my men catch Frank Wallace on the edge of my territory, huh? Got a telegram in his pocket from guess who?”

She clawed at his wrist but didn’t answer.

“Guess!” He shouted at her.

“I don’t know!” She wailed from the pain of her hair pulling at the roots.

“Liar!” He pushed her into the sofa. “Liar, you fucking lie and lie. That’s all you do, isn’t it?”

Kate tried to scramble to her feet as he walked back towards her with hell in his eyes. She looked to the stairs as her exits. She could go upstairs and lock herself in the room, she’d done that a few times to escape him. But the lock was starting to give and she worried he might break it down. She could try for the door but he was blocking her path.

“What is he planning?” Santo cornered her by the fireplace.

“I don’t know.” Survival mode was taking hold of her. But there were dwindling chances to escape. So, she would have to fight.

“What is he planning!?” He yelled and grabbed her by the throat. “Tell me!”

Kate answered with a knee to his groin.

Instantly, he doubled over in pain and released his hold. “You bitch!”

She made a dash for it but he hooked her leg, toppling her to the ground. Her wrist took the impact, making her cry out in pain.

Santo staggered to his feet and loomed over her. “Get up.” He ordered. “Get the fuck up! You’ve really done it now, you whore. No one’s gonna recognize you when they pull you out of the water. Fitting huh? Getting dragged outta the Harbor like your father? They’ll toss you into a ditch and everyone will forget about you like the trash you are.”

A tear slipped from Kate’s cheek and fell onto the hardwood floor. No way did she see herself going out like this. She just wanted to be free. She wanted to dance on stage again. She wanted to be weightless. She pressed her uninjured hand into the floor to push herself back up.

“I tried to give you everything. All you had to do was one thing. One fucking thing, Kate!” He kicked her in the ribs, causing her to fall again. “But you couldn’t even do that. Lying whore that you are. Garbage just like your parents. I should’ve never wasted my time on you. I should’ve killed you a long time ago.”

She would be weightless. Bodies float in water. She would be weightless in the ocean. Maybe the tide wouldn’t carry her back in. Maybe it would let her stay out there. Maybe it would let her dissolve into nothing but salt. She’d be weightless then. There would be no one to worry about then. Santo wouldn’t have a reason to go after the Peaky Blinders. Tommy wouldn’t have a reason to go after the Italians.

Tommy…God, his eyes were as blue as the ocean. She swore she could remember every single time he looked at her. But the time that was burned into her memory was the time he said he loved her. What had she given him? The last thing she said to him was that she didn’t love him. That’s what she would be leaving him with.

But that’s all she was to anyone. A missed opportunity. That’s all life ever was to her, a missed opportunity.

“Get up!” Santo’s voice was going hoarse from how loud he was screaming at her. His face was red.

Kate took a deep breath. She was going to tell Tommy Shelby she loved him. She was going to dance again. This was her opportunity. Her hand went to the knife on her thigh.

“GET UP!”

So she did.


	30. Chapter 30

In one fluid movement, Kate unsheathed the knife and rose to her feet. She plunged the knife into Santo’s stomach. There was a sharp pitched ringing in her ears as she continued to stab him over and over again. It was such a removed state of being that she couldn’t hear him scream, couldn’t feel his blood on her, couldn’t feel the knife accidentally slicing her hand. It wasn’t until Santo collapsed did she realize what she did.

She could hear his labored breathing as his hands fumbled blindly over the stab wounds. Blood pooled over his shirt and dripped onto the floor. “I-I gave you everything.” He gasped in disbelief.

Kate dropped the knife and placed her foot over his neck. “You gave me nothing.” She spat and stepped down, crushing his throat and ending him once and for all.

A long couple of minutes passed before Kate could gather her bearings again. Rational thought returned and she realized what would happen to her. Once Santo’s men found out, they would no doubt go after her and any of her allies.

Breathing ragged, she moved quickly to try and fix up the scene. If she could make it look like she was kidnapped, maybe she could get away with no implications. It would at least give her time to get away.

She went upstairs and dragged her sheets off the bed, letting blood trail everywhere she touched. It felt mildly satisfying as she left a trail of destruction down into the parlor. Sweeping stuff off the tables and dragging her nails across the walls and doorjamb. Everything would have to be left behind to make it look like she had gone against her will. But she stopped, realizing she couldn’t leave her ballet shoes behind. So, she traveled back upstairs and found the box that held the shoes and her other small keepsakes. Nothing else mattered to her, so she left it all.

Once everything looked suitable, Kate walked over to Santo’s body. It made her sick to look at him, but that wasn’t much of a change. She found his billfold, tucking it into the pocket of her skirt.

She donned a cloche hat and one of Santo’s heavy coats before she left so no one would notice her or the blood on her. Her thoughts were scattered but she knew that she needed to lay low. The closest ally she had just happened to be across the street, so she moved quickly but slow enough so she wouldn’t attract attention.

Patrick answered the door with a puzzled look. “Kate?”

She pushed past him in a panic when she heard a car coming down the street. “He’s dead.” She whispered.

“Uh, what was that?” He shut the door.

“He’s dead, Santo’s dead, I killed him.” She slipped off the coat and pushed it toward him. “You need to burn that.”

One of the other men, Owen, came down. “Pat, I heard screaming…oh, Miss Lynch.” The man who couldn’t be much older than twenty-one looked alarmed at the amount of blood on her. “Are you alright?”

“Don’t ask questions,” Patrick ordered and threw Santo’s coat at him. “Put this away, tonight burn it in the back alley.” He instructed.

“They’re going to find out soon,” Kate said.

“It’s alright, they won’t know you’re here,” Patrick assured her. “Tommy’s leaving for the docks in a day or so. It’ll take him less than a week to get here.”

She sank to the floor, her back against the wall. She put a hand to her forehead but realized she was bleeding.

Patrick noticed, of course, it was hard to ignore the amount of blood coating her clothes and arms. “We have bandages upstairs in the bathroom.” He offered. “I’ll have Owen go out and see if he can find you some new clothes. I’m guessing you left everything there.”

She nodded and stood up. “All my clothes.” She held the box out to him, getting a bit of blood on it. “Will you keep this in a safe place until we leave.”

He nodded and took it from her.

Without another word, she went upstairs, making sure she wasn’t trailing blood after her. Everything sounded like radio static. Her brain was in a fog as she took off her blouse and skirt, leaving them in a pile so they could be burned later. She scrubbed the blood from her skin and cleaned the wound on her hand. After drying off and bandaging her palm, she made sure the bathroom was spotless. It didn’t matter if she was in a safe house or not, she wasn’t going to leave any evidence anywhere.

Kate was so caught up in thoughts about her actions that she hadn’t realized how much time passed. She was sat on the edge of the tub, her hand over her mouth in perpetual shock.

Finally, someone knocked on the door, frightening her.

“Miss Lynch, I’ve got some clothes for you,” Patrick said from the other side of the door.

She stood up to crack the door open and take the pile of clothes from him.

“Don’t really know what size you are.” He admitted sheepishly. “Owen did his best.”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine for a few days, thank you.”

Patrick nodded and shut the door so she could change.

It felt as if Kate had cast aside her old skin and was donning a new one. Santo was finally out of her life, and depending on how things went, she could close that chapter of her life. But it left the next chapter of her life open-ended. Part of her felt too guilty to go back to Birmingham and act like everything was okay. Of course, she _wanted _to go back, she wanted to be back with the Shelbys and be back with Tommy. And she didn’t have many other options or places to go back to. She had no base in New York and definitely couldn’t go back to Illinois. She could go further West but that would only be the same evasive behavior she had before.

The thought of having Birmingham and London as places to set her roots was so appealing. She wanted to be back there again, to build up her life once more.

It was still a lot to think about, but she had a bit of time before Tommy arrived. So she got dressed and headed out to the hall.

Luckily, she paused right before the stairs when she heard Patrick talking to someone at the door.

“I’m not sure I know who that is, mate.”

“Santo Leoni.” Kate’s blood ran cold when she recognized Mickey’s voice. He must’ve come across the scene already. “He was your neighbor and ran this area. How could you not fucking know about him?”

To Patrick’s credit, he was good at playing it cool and feigning ignorance. “We haven’t been here long.”

Kate stayed by the wall, listening in on the conversation with her breath held.

“Well, he was killed earlier today so we’re going around asking everyone in the neighborhood if they saw anything. The fuckers kidnapped his fiancée. Blonde gal named Kate.”

“Hm, well, we did hear screaming an hour or so ago,” Patrick mentioned as if it hadn’t crossed his mind until right then. “Looked out the window and there was a car pulling away, going that way.”

“What kinda car?”

“Not sure, I don’t know ‘bout American cars, mate.”

Mickey made a noise of frustration. “Fine, f’you see anything else, you come find me, okay?”

“Sure.”

Kate exhaled slowly when she heard the door close. Her plan had worked. At least for the meantime, Santo’s men thought she was missing or possibly dead too.

All she had to do was wait for Tommy.

It wasn’t pleasant. The week passed by very slowly. Kate couldn’t leave the house under any circumstance. There was no use risking anyone recognizing her. She was even afraid to go near the windows.

She relied on Patrick and the other two to keep her company and retrieve things for her outside of the apartment. It was aggravating because she wanted to be able to go out and at least take a walk down the road.

But Patrick reported that Santo’s murder and her disappearance was all anyone talked about in the North End. Speculation as to who would do such a thing ran rampant. Wild theories were thrown around the market place and cafes. Santo’s men were questioning everyone, Mickey and others had dropped by the flat a few times after the murder. But Patrick was convincing enough to fend off their suspicion.

Kate had acquired almost a knee-jerk reaction to someone knocking on the door. If she was on the first floor, she dashed into any windowless area that was far away from the front door. If she was upstairs, she sat by the stairs, protected by the wall, so she could listen to the conversation.

One morning was such an occasion. There was a knock on the door and Kate left the bedroom to hear who it was.

“Frank Wallace, I’m looking for Miss Lynch. The boat’s arrived for her.”

Frank’s voice was such a relief to her. She dashed downstairs. “I can’t believe you came back.” She hurried him in. “Everyone’s already on edge.” She scolded.

Frank just smiled and shrugged. “They’re so worked up about you going missing, they ain’t thinking of me.”

“They’re probably looking to blame you, Frankie. If they see you around here, they’ll assume it’s you.”

“I appreciate the concern, Katie, but I was asked to personally deliver you to the docks. And if you’re leaving me again then I’d like to have the chance to say goodbye.”

“He’s here?”

“Yes ma’am, called me ten minutes ago.” He confirmed.

It was so strange knowing that Tommy was in the same city as she was again. It was like her heart was trying to leap out of her chest so it could find him.

“Alright, I’ll get my things.”

Kate’s leg shook in anticipation as they drove out of the North End to the docks. The large passenger ship was imposing in the Harbor, but it was such a welcome sight to her.

Frank pulled into the lot where people were waiting to board. There, Tommy stood in a fitted three-piece suit and his signature hat.

Kate jumped out of the car before Frank even put it in park. She ran to Tommy and crashed into his arms.

He accepted her, wrapping his arms around her tightly and burying his face in the crook of his neck. “Hello, love.”

“I didn’t mean what I said over the telephone, I’m sorry I didn’t know what else to say to make you-”

“S’alright, s’alright. You don’t have to apologize for anything. I know you didn’t mean it.”

“I didn’t know what else to do.”

Tommy was just relieved to have her in his arms again. He was reluctant to let her go again. “It’s over. It’s over, you don’t need to apologize.” 

Finally, Kate could breathe easily.

“Tommy Shelby, good to finally meet ya.” Frank walked over to greet the man. “I’m glad to start doing business with you.”

Tommy let go of Kate to shake Frank’s hand. “Thank you for getting her here safely.”

“Of course. Can’t believe our Katie’s really in love but I guess she is.” Frank chuckled.

“Frank is a good ally.” She said. “Teaming with him is never a bad idea.”

He grinned and held his arms out. “What can I say, I aim to please.”

“So, you’ll be alright?” Tommy asked.

“Santo’s men are probably suspicious of me, but he had a lot of enemies. I’ve got an alibi anyway.” He winked. “I’ll give you a ring if there’s any trouble.”

“Right, you’ve got my number.” Tommy nodded and turned to his three men. “As for you lads, good work.”

“Of course, Mr. Shelby,” Patrick replied.

Kate smiled and touched Tommy’s arm. He met her eyes fondly. She couldn’t believe how wrong her memory was. His eyes were so much bluer than she remembered.

“Ready to back home?” He asked her softly.

She nodded. “I’m ready.”

Frank paused with a concerned look on his face. “Hang on. Forgot to tell you something, Mr. Shelby.”

“What’s that?”

“There were rumors ‘bout Luca Changretta.”

Kate tensed up. “Luca?”

“You killed his father, that right?”

Tommy nodded stiffly. “His men killed my wife.”

“Hey man, I’m not saying it wasn’t justified. Just wanted to give you a heads up that Luca’s looking for revenge.”

Kate looked worried but Tommy seemed calm and collected. “He has a right to speak to me if he wants to. I’m sure he understands why his father was killed.”

“Well, I’ll let you know if I hear anything else about him,” Frank suggested.

Kate nodded. “Thanks, Frankie.” She said and kissed his cheek. “I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Go on then, Boston’ll miss ya.”

Kate slipped her hand into Tommy’s as they boarded the ship with Patrick and the others. He squeezed her hand gently and kissed her temple. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”


	31. Chapter 31

They didn’t say anything as they made their way to their room on the ship. They parted ways with Patrick and the others along the way. Tommy didn’t let go of Kate’s hand until he needed to locate the key to the room and open the door.

He allowed her in first, touching her back gently as she entered the suite. It was a set of three rooms including the bathroom, a sitting room, and the bedroom. The rooms weren’t particularly large but they were ornate and comfortable for crossing the ocean. It was very similar to the suite she had traveled in with Santo to Boston. It felt like years ago when she felt so hopeless. Destined to never have love in her life.

But now, there she was with Tommy. It felt like a dream.

Kate turned to him, so filled with joy that she wasn’t quite sure what to do.

Tommy shut the door and set their bags on the floor. He brushed his hands together and looked at her with a bit of apprehension. Though their reunion on the docks was one he’d been hoping for, he was worried. Worried that she would be upset with him for still stepping in. For doing everything she told him not to do. In the end, it worked out. But that didn’t erase the fact that he hadn’t listened to anything she said. It could be argued that he was only doing it for her safety, but of course, there was a hint of selfishness behind his motive. He needed her back for his own sanity.

But Kate didn’t seem to hold any grievances. She was feeling too euphoric from being freed from such a long-standing burden. “Can I kiss you?” She asked softly.

“When have you ever asked for something so politely?” Tommy asked coyly.

She smiled. Oh, it felt so good to smile again. “I could insist on it.”

He started to move towards her. “You could.”

The closer he got, the faster her heart raced. It was as if it had been kickstarted back to life. All that time she’d been so numb, and now every nerve-ending was vibrating with excitement. “I could demand it.”

“And you wouldn’t hear any complaints from me.” Tommy stopped inches away from her. He gently combed his fingers through her hair.

“Then kiss me.”

He smiled. “There’s the Kate I know.” He murmured before pressing his lips to hers. Though they had never kissed before, it felt strangely familiar. Perhaps they’d known each other so well that there were no surprises. But it wasn’t meaningless. In fact, it felt like the most thrilling thing Kate had ever done. The lights of the Moulin Rouge, the weightless feeling of a grand jeté in front of an audience, nothing compared.

Tommy placed a hand on the small of her back, bringing her flush against him. Kate’s lips parted with a soft sigh of yearning. Her hands went to tangle in his hair, pressing him onward, praying he wouldn’t stop.

Luckily, he wasn’t keen on letting go of her. It wasn’t until they were both completely out of breath, did they part. Even then, neither of them moved away. Kate loosened her hold on his hair, instead, gently carding her fingers through his dark locks. She paused when her fingers grazed over the scars on his scalp.

“Are you still in pain?” She asked quietly.

Tommy pressed his forehead to hers. “I need glasses. Other than that, it’s only headaches here and there.”

She sighed. “I should’ve been there for you.”

“You were there.” He assured her. “The drugs they put me on, they made me see you.”

Her thumb smoothed over the damaged skin. “You visited my dreams nearly every night.” Her hand moved from his hair to touch his cheek. “I tried so hard to forget about you but I couldn’t.”

“You don’t have to try anymore.” He promised. “I’ll be right here.”

It was comforting to accept his love. It had been agonizing trying to push him away, trying to delude herself into thinking she could forget him. She smiled and pecked his lips before stepping away so she could remove her coat. “I trust you were still busy while I was gone.”

Tommy chuckled darkly. “There was a lot going on.” He admitted. “It’s a complicated story.”

“Well, we have time.” She reminded him. “It’s a long journey home.”

Tommy stood back, watching her hang up her coat and fix her blonde curls in the mirror. The short-sleeved blouse she was wearing gave him a view of some of the scars and bruises that still lingered after her stint in Boston. It made his blood boil knowing Santo had full rein to abuse her while Tommy was utterly helpless. It was satisfying knowing the son of a bitch was dead, although Tommy would’ve enjoyed being the one who killed him.

He had to take a deep breath. It wouldn’t be easy to let that anger go, but there was no point holding onto it. Santo was dead and Kate would be back home. “I’d rather just relax, not worry about what happened.”

Kate turned around with a look of shock. “Do my ears deceive me?” She asked with a faux look of horror on her face. “Tommy Shelby relaxing? That’s absurd.”

He smiled and rolled his eyes. “I was in a hospital for weeks; I think I’ve learned how to take it easy.”

She smiled. “I think that’s different, but I would like to relax a bit. I know neither of us has had it particularly easy in these last few months. We have plenty of time to catch up on things.”

It was relieving. Tommy didn’t want to talk about Father Hughes, Tatiana, or how Karl was kidnapped. Those issues had been on his mind nonstop for weeks on end and finally, he was being given an opportunity to put those worries aside. After all, there was nothing else to be done. Father Hughes was dead, Karl was back with Ada, and Tatiana was in Vienna. Worries in the past. There were things looming on the horizon, things Tommy had planned, but those things could wait. At least for a week while they were at sea.

That night, Tommy was laying on the bed, reading the newspaper while Kate was in the bathroom preparing for bed.

When she came out, a small smile formed on her face. “Y’know, when you said you had to wear glasses, I thought you’d look a little funny. I think it’s unfair that you look just as handsome in them.”

Tommy lowered the paper and looked up over his wire-frame glasses. “You’re the only one who thinks that. Everyone else gave me a hard time about them.”

Kate furrowed her brow. “Nonsense.” She put a hand on her hip, drawing Tommy’s attention to the white nightgown she was wearing with a navy-blue dressing gown over it.

He folded up the newspaper, fully aware that he wouldn’t be wasting any more time on reading. “Nonsense?”

She walked over to the bed and went to lay next to him. “You look even smarter than before and more…stately.” She curled up by his side, looking up at him with adoration.

He chuckled and shook his head. “Well, that’s one way of looking at it.”

“Does any other way matter? I would think you think highly of my opinion.” She gave him an innocent smile.

“Oh, I missed you.” He growled playfully. He shifted over so he could hook a leg over and hover over her, resting his weigh on his elbows.

Every little move he made took Kate’s breath away. It didn’t seem fair that he had such a hold over her, but she wasn’t going to deny it either. She closed her eyes as he kissed her softly. It felt like being enveloped in a warm, familiar blanket. A secure feeling of being held and cherished. It seemed nothing could go wrong until Tommy’s hand went to rest on her hip.

He pushed up the thin fabric of her nightgown and inexplicably caused a knee-jerk reaction from Kate.

Panic descended on her in mere seconds. She shoved Tommy off of her and reflexively reached for her thigh. The same spot where she had worn her knife all day and all night when she was in Boston.

But the holster wasn’t there, the leather was digging into her skin as it had been before. That split second, Kate thought she was back in Boston. She feared that she was only having a dream and Tommy wasn’t really there. She feared that Santo was trying to touch her again. Horrid memories of those grueling months flashed through her brain like deadly strikes of lightning.

“Kate?”

Tommy’s voice lured her back to reality, soothing her frayed nerves, and reassuring her that it wasn’t a dream.

Her vision cleared up a bit, she hadn’t noticed it was blurred until she could see the cabin suite clearly again. “Tom?”

He was sitting up on the bed, a concerned look on his face. But he didn’t move to touch her, afraid it would trigger her again. It wasn’t an unfamiliar phenomenon to him. Although, he had only seen it in soldiers before. The way Danny Owens ducked and covered his head every time he heard a loud bang. The ingrained reaction that was meant to protect him. His brain seized control even when there was no imminent threat. He saw that same detached, fearful look in Kate’s eyes as she relived something horrific. And Tommy had a hunch what it was.

“He took advantage of you.” He surmised in a quiet voice.

Kate was dumbfounded by her own response to Tommy touching her. She knew she was safe but still, she couldn’t seem to control the reaction. It was so frightening, yet she didn’t know why. Why couldn’t she see that Tommy wasn’t a threat to her? He wasn’t Santo, he would never harm her. She started to tremble in confusion and anxiety. “It was just…easier to give in. If he got what he wanted, I wouldn’t get hurt.”

It was just another reminder that it would be difficult to get over the anger Tommy had toward the dead man. And the anger for himself. That he had let Kate suffer for so long. That he wasn’t there to protect her.

“I just didn’t think it would…” She drew her knees to her chest and fought back tears. She had thought that once she’d finished Santo off, all the memories would be dead and buried. That was a part of her life she could toss aside. But how could she completely forget? She was abused, demeaned, threatened, raped. Those weren’t things that a woman just walked away from. They were scars she would carry for the rest of her life. She could put out a tough façade to the world, but she was so damaged inside. And even she couldn’t escape her memories.

“Kate, s’alright.” Tommy cautiously touched her hand. “None of it was your fault, that fucking bastard had no right to treat you like that. I should’ve come for you sooner I-”

A tear slipped down Kate’s cheek as she went to bury herself in Tommy’s arms. “I just want to forget it. He can’t have power over me anymore. It’s n-not fair.”

“He doesn’t.” Tommy wrapped his arms around her. “You’re safe, love. I promise you’re safe.”

She didn’t answer. She just held onto him tightly until she was so tired, she began to doze off. Deep down, Kate knew that safety was fleeting and it was never a guarantee. 

The next morning, Kate took a walk along the promenade to get some fresh air. The night before had been a huge shock to her. But in hindsight, she realized how foolish it was to assume everything would just be perfect after all she’d endured. Her entire life, Kate was taught to be tougher than the world or she’d be eaten alive. If she put on a tough face and told everyone she was strong, in the end, she would be. She learned early on that the world was unforgiving and those who wore their hearts on their sleeves didn’t survive. Becoming a ballerina in an esteemed company was an uphill battle. There was no time for tears and she had to dance through any injuries. Becoming the head of a bootlegging empire was a daily battle. She needed to be cutthroat or her throat would be cut, simple as that. She didn’t even let people see her cry at her own mother’s funeral.

And even as trauma continued to build up in her life, Kate continued on. Her fragile self was kept behind hundreds of layers of steel. Since she had been on her own for so many years, it was easy to keep those emotions to herself.

Now that she had created bonds with Tommy, she could see the consequences of being so guarded. Cracks in her armor were starting to show and it terrified her. She trusted Tommy but was afraid that he would look down on her for being so delicate. She was afraid it would compromise her entire being. But perhaps, she had let everything build up for too long. Usually, she assumed that she could walk away from anything and be okay. But in reality, she was simply tucking those emotions away, letting them build up until the pressure became too much and she cracked. Her time in Boston had become the final straw. Maybe it was the thing she wouldn’t be able to walk away from. 

As she walked down the open deck of the ship, she felt like everyone was staring at her. Her chest was tight as she assumed, they all knew. They all knew what had happened. That she was nothing more than just a broken, used, poor excuse for a woman. All the things Santo said she was. After all, what did she have left? Her self-esteem had been shattered, her dignity had been stripped, her entire life had been torn to shreds. The woman who was returning to England was not the same person who had left months ago. She felt all of her flaws were finally out in the open for everyone to see and to mock. She was nothing more than a liar, a whore, a fraud.

Her stomach in knots, Kate knew she couldn’t be out around people for much longer, so she returned to the suite.

Tommy was doing a bit of work when she returned. He turned around in his seat and smiled at her. “How was your walk?” The smile didn’t last long when he saw the panicked look on her face. “Kate?”

“There are things I need to tell you.” Her hands wrung together as she walked into the sitting area of the suite.

“Things about what?” Tommy asked, setting his paperwork aside so she knew she had his full attention.

“I lied to you about a lot of things. A lot of things from my past when I was in Boston and Chicago. An-And I can’t lie to you anymore, I need to tell you the truth.” She was shaking slightly as she sat down on the sofa beside him.

“Kate, you don’t need to explain anything to me. Your past doesn’t affect us right now.” He assured her, turning towards her so he could cup her cheek.

“It has affected us!” She pointed out. “It already has and I don’t want it to happen again.” 

“It’s over, it’s in the past. We need to focus on what we have right now and what’s in store for us in the future.” Tommy was worried that something else would resurface and cause them problems. But he was also afraid to hear what she might have kept from him. Sometimes, it was better to just forget the past than to dig things back up again.

“Tommy…”

“All I ask is you’re honest with me moving forward.” He soothed. “We’ll both be honest, and there’ll be no reason to worry about what might’ve happened in the past. It was before we even met, Kate, so it doesn’t bother me.”

Kate realized it was the same thing he’d done with Grace. He buried his head in the sand because he was in love. Secrets and lies would disrupt their relationship and that’s the last thing he wanted. He just wanted things to be alright again. Kate did too. She wanted everything to work out and to make sense between them. She had lied, she lied about her father and her involvement in crimes. And those lies were eating up at her from the inside. “Please, I can’t live with this anymore.”

Tommy met her eyes, worried, but he finally nodded. “Alright, tell me the truth then.”


	32. Chapter 32

_Francis Lynch was a wreck. She could barely stand or hold her head up and it had been three hours since the police had left. Three hours since one of the detectives informed her of her husband’s accident. In the wee hours of the morning, Ryan Lynch, drunk as a skunk, had fallen into the Boston Harbor and drowned. _

_ “What am I going to do?” She wailed from her seat at the kitchen table. Her head was in her hands. _

_ Her eighteen-year-old daughter was sitting on the floor, her knees tucked to her chest. “It’ll be alright, mom.” She said quietly. Tears streamed down her cheeks. Her father was never the person he was meant to be. He worked twelve hours a day then spent his free time in the pub. He was never particularly loving toward his only child. After all, she was simply a mistake in his eyes. Young and reckless, he got Francis pregnant and his Catholic father guilted them into marriage._

_ But Kate was still sad. She still loved him. _

_ “It won’t be alright!” Francis cried. “We’ll lose the apartment, we’ll lose everything!” _

_ “No, we won’t.” Kate stood up shakily and tried to comfort her mother. “I promise we’ll be alright.” _

“I worked to help pay the bills and to pay my neighbor for ballet lessons,” Kate explained. She sat down on the bed as she started to explain everything, she had lied to him about. “My mom worked too but my father brought in the most money.”

Tommy wasn’t sure he expected the story to go so far back. In his experience, the farther back a story went, the more lies there were. But he tried to keep an open mind, she was being honest with him even if he was hesitant about it.

“When my father died, we would’ve become homeless in a couple of months.”

Tommy frowned. “You didn’t tell me your father died.” As far as the story went, or at least the one he was led to believe, Kate’s father was the reason for all of her troubles. Someone who was caught up in the American mafia, who placed all the burden on Kate.

“Just, just listen.”

He nodded and went to sit beside her on the bed. The last thing he wanted was for a confrontation so soon after reuniting with her. That’s why he had wanted to at least delay the truth. But he also didn’t want her to feel guilty either.

“I’d known Frank Wallace and his brother Steve for a long time. They were already established as the Gustin Gang by that point and they controlled most of South Boston. I met Frank through my neighbor who taught me lessons. He had helped her rent and legal issues. So, I went to him after my father died.”

_“Girl like you shouldn’t be dealing in those sorta things, Katie,” Frank warned. _

_ They were at one of the bars the Wallace brothers owned. One of the places Kate’s father frequented. Kate looked around the place, wondering if this was the last place her father had been before he left and fell into the Harbor. _

_ “I don’t think I have a choice.” She replied quietly. _

_ “I’ll help you find a good job with better pay.” He assured her. “Don’t worry about your landlord either, I’ll pay him a visit if he gives you trouble ‘bout the rent.” _

_ To anyone else, it would’ve sounded like the perfect scenario. Having friends in gangs sometimes had its perks. But Kate shook her head. “I don’t want that, Frankie. You know how long I’ve been training to dance. I’m not going to give that up so I can work myself to death like…” She paused. “Whatever.” _

_ Frank tapped his knuckles on the table. “But to get into shit like bootlegging? You’re only gonna bring yourself more troubles.” _

_ “It’s what I want to do. I can do this and have enough money to take care of my mom. Meanwhile, I can hopefully get into a ballet company. Then over time, I might make more from dancing.” _

_ The older man sighed. “I know that I can’t fucking do anything to change your mind. But you need to know that this shit isn’t something you can walk away from. Not a little side job you can drop whenever you want.” _

_ “I know.” _

“I used my father’s identity to set it all up. I started to facilitate shipments from Europe to get liquor into Boston and then ship it all over the country. I put any debts in my father’s name and Frank helped me deal with anyone so nothing would be traced back to me.”

Tommy wasn’t surprised that she had managed to create a bootlegging empire. Kate was certainly clever enough to get the job done. He was just unsure why she hadn’t confessed that to him when they initially met. But he wanted to hear her out so he nodded for her to continue. 

“I was accepted into the Boston ballet company and began dancing. It became so much easier after that. I started to meet people who were higher up in the city. Rich people, people who wanted things done. Only the wealthiest knew who I really was. Everyone else thought it was my father in control.”

_“That was a beautiful performance, Miss Lynch.” _

_ “Oh, Mr. Weld,” Kate startled as she left the theatre through the backstage door. “I didn’t see you there.”_

_ The wealthy businessman was standing by his expensive, neatly polished car parked in the back alley. Mr. Weld was dressed in a tuxedo, demonstrating that he had seen the ballet performance that had just ended. _

_ “Let me drive you home.” He offered, opening the car door for her. _

_ “That would be kind, thank you.” Kate had no qualms about getting into his car. She was armed with a pistol and even then she doubted the man would attack her. She was far too valuable. _

_ “I do appreciate your work, Kathleen but I came here to voice some concerns.” Mr. Weld said as he got into the car and started it up. _

_ “By all means, tell me what you’re worried about.” _

_ The man sighed anxiously. “I understand you’ve been branching out to Chicago, selling to their bars. Word is you’ve gathered a few men there who act on your behalf.” _

_ “I don’t give out names of people I work with,” Kate replied calmly. “What I do in Chicago won’t affect my business with your bars, Mr. Weld. You’ll get shipments and protection as long as I’m paid.” _

_ “What I’m concerned about is the Chicago Outfit.” He ignored the mild threat. He’d been behind a few times with payments and had learned his lesson early on that it didn’t matter that Kate was a woman. She wasn’t someone to be messed with. _

_ Kate bit her tongue. The Chicago Outfit was frightening to anyone, but she didn’t show fear. “There’s no reason for concern.” _

_ “Pardon my insistence, but there’s been word that you’ve…you’ve been disregarding their territory lines. I would urge you to be careful or to even back out of Chicago entirely. The more you press…” _

_ “What?” She glanced over at him, still conveying that she wasn’t bothered even when her stomach was in knots. _

_ Mr. Weld’s fingers tapped nervously on the steering wheel. “The more attention you’ll call to yourself. I don’t wish to have any ties to someone who upsets them.” _

_ “Then pay me what I’m due and our contract will be finished,” Kate replied with a tone of finality. “You can go over to the North End and ask the Italians for help. Because you won’t get any more help from any of my allies.” _

_ Mr. Weld swallowed. “Just please consider your actions a bit more carefully.” He parked outside of the Lynch’s apartment building._

_ “I run my business how I see fit,” Kate said, stepping out of the car. “Let me know if you want to continue our business relationship.” She closed the car door firmly. _

“I was making money but not enough to completely stay afloat. , I branched out further to Chicago and made mistakes. I was given a warning but I didn’t listen.”

Tommy had been in the game long enough to know the consequences of ignoring warnings. “What did they do?”

“They took a train to Boston and kidnapped my mother. They tortured her for days but she wouldn’t tell them where I was. They ended up throwing her in the river.” Kate tucked her knees to her chest as she stared at the floor with tears in her eyes. The sight of her mother’s body being hauled out of the river would always be etched into her brain. The guilt was so unbearable she tried to pawn it off to someone else. It was the Chicago Outfit’s fault. It was the fault of whoever gave them her mother’s address. It was her father’s fault for leaving them with no income. But in the end, there was no escaping it. Kate knew it was her fault.

Tommy, although stunned into silence by her history, he instinctually wrapped an arm around her shoulders to comfort her. His actions had led to the death of others. He knew the weight of guilt that would always rest on his soul.

“That same night I went to Santo. I wanted him to get revenge for me. I only knew him because he left me a letter after one of my performances. He hounded me for weeks about a business relationship and then something personal. I knew he was waiting for me after the news spread about my mother.”

_“My condolences, Miss Lynch.” Santo poured Kate a glass of wine. They were sat together in a secluded booth at one of the North End restaurants Santo owned. _

_ “Thank you.” She replied quietly. It still hadn’t quite hit that her mother was dead. Yet, there she was, willing to negotiate for revenge. _

_ “Why is it you wanted to come to see me so soon after your mother passed?” He asked even though there was a twinkle in his eye. A sort of knowing. There was no mystery as to why she was there. _

_ “Because I need the bastard who killed her to pay. I want him dead.” _

_ He raised his eyebrows as if he hadn’t even considered that. “And why should I help you? You’ve never proposed an alliance before, why would I risk any of my men to help you? You must know that the Chicago Outfit are dangerous.” _

_ “Because you’re the only one in Boston who has a feud with them, you would want an opportunity to raise hell, and I would pay you.” Kate knew that talking to gang leaders was never easy. She tended to get right to the bottom line to skip all the fanfare they were so fond of. _

_ “I’m a wealthy man, Kate, why would I need your money?” He adjusted his cufflinks almost as an example. _

_ “What else would you want?” _

“That’s where the deal came in. He killed the man who killed my mother. But when the deadline came, I didn’t have enough money. One of my shipments fell through and I lost a lot of money. I begged Santo to give me more time but he refused.”

Tommy couldn’t help the instinctual anger he felt when Santo’s name was brought up. It only minorly distracted him from the bewildering story Kate was telling him.

“I left before he could get me and ended up in France.”

“And that’s where I come in,” Tommy mumbled quietly.

“Yeah.” Her voice was almost at a whisper. Kate was terrified of what he would say to her.

But he didn’t speak for a long while. He kept his arm around her, absent-mindedly rubbing her shoulder.

“Say something, please.” She begged.

“I don’t know what to say, Kate.” He finally spoke. “I just-I don’t know if it changes anything but I don’t understand. I don’t understand why you didn’t just tell me.”

Kate felt like breaking down and just curling into a ball. Hardly anyone knew her true story. If she trusted anyone to hear it, Tommy would be high up on that list. But it was still agonizing to open up her old wounds. “Because when I went to France, I vowed to put it all behind me. I didn’t want to be that person again not after what happened to my mother. But then you came into my life and…” She put a hand to her face. “I don’t know I just thought you might be my ticket out.”

“I don’t understand.”

“You made me feel safe. And if I had to go back to what I was doing before then I trusted you would be able to keep me safe. Especially if Santo ended up finding me.” She tried to explain as best she could. “But I still wanted to be rid of my past so that’s why I lied. Maybe I just didn’t want to admit what I’d done.”

Tommy wasn’t sure what else he could say. Perhaps she had a reason for lying to him. Maybe it was enough that she wanted to put her past behind her. Sometimes, Tommy wished he could just step away from it all and resume a new life. Start off on a clean slate without any debts. But the world didn’t work that way. Kate was now figuring that out.

“I didn’t think I would fall in love with you. I didn’t even plan on staying in Birmingham that long. I had no problem lying because…your family was just another step in the road. But…then I-I fell in love with you and I just didn’t know how to tell you the truth. The longer I waited, the harder it got.” Weary from all the emotions she’d gone through in those past months, she slumped forward over her knees, holding her hands to her face. “I don’t want to be just another person who lied to you.”

“C’mere.” He helped her sit upright so he could cradle her in his arms. “What we have is real, aye? It doesn’t have anything to do with what happened in America. The only thing I care about is what happens between us here.”

Kate buried her face in the crook of his neck. She wanted him to push her away, to look at her with disgust and hatred. She wanted him to hate her for the things she’d done.

But he held her close and kissed her hair. “It’s done, yeah? You’re coming home, you leave all of it behind.”

“Tom, I lied to everyone. I put them at risk I-” She couldn’t say it, but she felt worse than Grace. She had lied for longer than Grace had. She had condemned Grace for lying, yet Kate had been lying all along as well.

“Leave it behind, Kate.” He urged. “You can leave it behind.”

He looked over her shoulder, still processing everything she’d told him. Kate was right, he was blind when it came to the people, he was closest to. So distrustful of the world, but those who had his heart were above suspicion.

They sat there for a long while, sitting with everything said and just getting used to being in each other’s company again.

“How is the rest of the family?” Kate asked quietly, finally lifting her head, able to meet his eyes again. “Have they been alright?”

He took a deep breath. Time for some of his own admission of guilt. “They’re all in prison, they’ve been sentenced to hang.”


	33. Chapter 33

Kate laughed because she genuinely thought he was kidding. The Shelbys were no different from the other powerful people she knew. People who were so above the law, none of their arrests actually stuck. The police force was far too easy to bribe, as were jurors and judges. She couldn’t count how many times Frank Wallace was arrested, his rap sheet was endless and contained possibly every violation known to lawyers. He was always in and out of Charles Street jail, knew the warren personally and all the guards by their first names. Often times, Kate would pick Frank up from the short stints of being locked up and he’d always say the same thing.

“Alright fellas, same time next week?”

It never failed to make Kate laugh.

But no matter how many times Frank was arrested, he was never convicted. He rarely even stood trial.

So, to hear that the Shelbys had been arrested _and _sentenced to death? It was so outlandish. 

But Tommy didn’t look amused.

The smile dropped from Kate’s face. “You’re serious? Tommy, you can’t be fucking serious. What happened?” 

His hand slipped under his glasses so he could rub his eyes. He had hoped they might have a bit more time together before everything about the past month came out. Just to have a few days where neither of them had to worry about anything. They could just enjoy each other’s company and make up for the time that had been stolen from them. There would be a time to address the issues in the outside world. There was always time for that. But there never seemed to be enough time for having a decent relationship. Perhaps that was his fault.

“There are things in place…”

Kate hated it when he used that excuse and she knew he knew. And yet, he would always have a plan until the day he died. “I don’t understand what could possibly warrant this.”

“It’s difficult to explain.”

“Try.”

He sighed, forgetting how relentless she could be. “They won’t be hanged. This is to ensure that the Crown cannot hold anything over my head anymore once this is over. I have a letter from the king that puts him in a very difficult place. They’ll want these documents destroyed. So I’ll destroy them once everyone is released from prison.”

Kate fiddled with her mother’s locket, unsure of what to think. “So, you’re getting something out of this.”

“The family is all getting something out of this. Everyone in the company, everyone.

“But they’re the ones in prison.”

“By the time we get back, it will be a few days until their release. Then the matter is done and over with.”

She chewed on her lip. “I trust you know what you’re doing but did you stop to think about what this might do to them. I mean were they even aware of what was going to happen?”

“They couldn’t know. They couldn’t look like accomplices to the matter.”

Kate put a hand over her face. It felt like her life, for a few years, was just a series of tests. Testing her loyalty and love for Tommy. “Maybe I don’t totally understand. Maybe I do, I don’t know. But I worry about what’ll do to your family. I know how important they are to you and how important you are to them. You can’t risk those relationships.”

“They’ll understand once they know everything.”

She gave him a worried look but nodded. She couldn’t help but feel like there was nothing of the matter that was in her control.

Kate had a lot to think about as they disembarked the ship and took the train to Warwickshire.

When they arrived at Arrow House, Tommy kissed her and excused himself to his office.

Kate unpacked the few bits of clothes she had and took out the box that held her ballet shoes. She unraveled the ribbon and picked up the shoes. She finally felt comfortable enough to hold them again. But she wasn’t quite ready to wear them yet. So, she inspected them a bit before returning them back to their usual resting spot and placed the box on a nearby dresser.

She looked around the room Mary had led her to. Kate had a hunch that it wasn’t the master bedroom. In comparison to the size of the house, it was too small to be the master.

Yet, Tommy’s clothes were in the closet, all neatly ironed and hung up in a row.

Kate took a spare hanger to place one of her dresses in the closet. She stepped back to see how it looked beside Tommy’s dress shirts.

Nice, it looked nice.

Not too long after, Kate knocked on Tommy’s study door. He allowed her in, the lines of worry on his face softening when he saw her open the door.

“I was hoping someone could drive me into town. I wasn’t able to get my things when I left so I don’t have many clothes to wear.” She explained.

“Of course, do you want me to go with you?” He offered.

“You look busy, I don’t want to intervene.” Kate was hoping he was in the midst of getting everyone out of prison, so, she didn’t want to delay him. 

He nodded and reached into his inner jacket pocket for his billfold. He handed her a good-sized wad of cash.

She hesitated. “That’s more than enough.”

He just shrugged but didn’t withdraw the amount.

“Okay.” She took the money, thinking she could just give the remainder back to him when she returned.

“One more thing before you go.”

“Yes?”

“I want you to take your time, aye? There’s no rush for anything here. Get settled and make this your home if you’d like. I want you to be comfortable here. But if it takes some time before you feel at ease, then that’s alright.” He said in a gentle voice, his blue eyes on hers. “I’ll be here for you every step of the way. If you need me to wait, I’ll wait.”

Kate swallowed and felt her eyes prick with tears. When was the last time she had a home? She had lived in so many places but never called any of them home. Tommy was offering her something so valuable. A home.

She leaned down to kiss him softly. It was still a feeling to get used to, but they had time. Tommy would make sure of that.

Early one morning, nooses were put over four necks. But each person walked away alive.

It all occurred before Kate had even woken up. She found the bed empty beside her. She would’ve questioned if Tommy had even slept if it weren’t for the disheveled sheets next to her.

She got up and dressed, donning one of the new skirts and blouses she’d gotten a few days earlier.

“Miss Lynch, would you like some breakfast?” One of the maids asked as Kate came downstairs.

“Maybe just some coffee, thank you.” It was one thing she knew would take some time to get used to. Having people always at the ready to help her with virtually anything was somewhat off-putting. Her entire life, Kate did everything herself. Even at a young age, she had to learn to take care of herself. But she figured it would be something to get used to because she wanted so desperately to make a home with Tommy.

“Of course, ma’am.”

“Is Tommy in?”

“Mr. Shelby went out to the stables. He didn’t say if he was going for a ride or not.”

“That’s alright, thank you,” Kate said and found herself going outside to see if she could find him. The lawns were expansive and she couldn’t even see where the property ended from the back door. She followed the path back to the stables and greeted a few of the young men working around the stables.

It had been some time since Kate had been around horses. She did ride often but attended many races and at one point even owned a racehorse. So, the scent of the stables was familiar and a bit calming to her.

“Tom?” She peered into the nearest stalls to see if he was around. 

“I thought you were going to sleep through the entire morning.”

She smiled when she heard his voice from the third stall from the door.

It was endearing to see Tommy around horses. He was dressed down from the three-piece suits he was so fond of. Instead opting for an old button-down shirt and trousers that were from his time as a younger man back in Birmingham. His suspenders were lax by his hips and his dark hair was hidden by his flat cap.

It was Tommy at his simplest form and Kate felt so blessed to see such a vulnerable side to him.

“It’s been a while since I got a good night’s sleep.” She leaned by the stall door.

The large black horse that Tommy was grooming stretched out his neck to greet Kate. She held out her hand to let him sniff her before stroking his nose gently.

“Well, I’m glad you got some sleep here.” It was encouraging to know Kate was already settling into living at Arrow House.

“I didn’t even hear you get up this morning. Were you off early?” She asked.

“Yeah.” He hunched over to pick the horse’s front hoof. “Sorry, I didn’t leave you a note but I figured I’d be back before you woke up.”

“Were you out doing business?” She wondered.

“Yep.” He let go of the horse’s hoof and patted his shoulder. “Polly, John, Arthur, and Michael all walked free.”

A wave of relief washed over Kate. “That’s good news. I should go see them I’ve missed them.”

Tommy looked down, rummaging through the brush box on the floor of the stall. “They might talk to you, but they informed me I wasn’t welcome around them or their families anymore.” He replied. His voice was steady as usual but he sounded grimly disappointed. Perhaps with himself, but she wasn’t positive.

“Because of what happened?” Kate didn’t want to be the person to say it was warranted. She felt slightly removed from the situation because she’d been gone for months.

Tommy nodded; his eyes still downcast. “Maybe you could call Ada to see if they’d be willing to see you. She’s been acting as the buffer between us.” He explained.

“Oh.” Kate hoped the Shelby woman would have some more insight and maybe speak a little more on the matter. She’d never been afraid to call out Tommy when it was necessary.

“I saw you still have your ballet shoes.” He quickly pivoted the conversation away from his family.

“Yes, they were the only thing I took from his apartment when I left.”

“Do you still have interest in joining a company?” He wondered. “There’s an independent group I’ve been donating some money to.”

“I think right now I’d like to just settle in.” Irrational worries arose. Worries that Tommy would keep her separate from Shelby Company Limited perhaps to protect her or to protect himself. After all, the last time he trusted a woman he loved, it interfered with business. But Kate knew that she had a strong presence in his company, especially regarding Alfie and goods going into America. She doubted he would push her out of that operation, she was too good at it. But perhaps after what happened with Polly and the boys, he wanted her to look the other way so it wouldn’t cause doubt in her mind. He didn’t want his actions to affect their relationship. But that wasn’t how Kate lived.

“The ballroom is probably the biggest open space in the house.” He said. “If you want to clear out a bit more furniture so you could practice, just say the word.”

The worries faded from Kate’s mind. He just wanted her to be happy. He remembered what she had said all the way back to the first time they met. When she longed to resume the dream, she lost. Now he was trying to grant that wish. But after everything, Kate wondered if she really could return to that life. It remained to be seen.

“Kate?” Tommy realized the faraway look in her eyes. “I’m sorry you had to come back to this.”

Instinct told her to give a fake smile and brush it off. But she valued the newfound honesty between each other. “I’ve been beginning to figure out that things happen for a reason. If you thought this would protect everyone, then how can I blame you? But you can’t expect them to forgive you so soon. You’ll have to mend those relationships with them.”

Tommy looked disgruntled at the idea. After all he’d done for his family, he thought they would understand. “If they don’t want my apologies then that’s fine. They’re free to do as they wish with the money, I gave them.” He went back to picking his horse’s hooves.

“Tom, please don’t shut them out because they’re not ready to forgive you immediately.” She begged. “You know how precious having family is, don’t waste it.”

“They’re the ones holding a grudge, Kate.”

“Because they feel betrayed.” She unlatched the stall door and stepped inside. “Can’t you see it from their point of view? They feel as though they were used as pawns. You said they didn’t know the plan so they probably thought they would be hanged.”

He let the horse set his hoof back down and he straightened up to face her. “Everything I’ve done for this bloody family has been done in their favor. If they want to pretend, they don’t need me, then fine.”

“But you need them.” She reached up to rub a bit of dirt off his cheek. Her thumb passed over the scar. The one she had tended to in the boat headed for London. It felt like lifetimes ago. “Please, try to work on it.” She implored. “For their sakes, for my sake, for your sake.”

Tommy didn’t promise anything but he kissed her forehead and embraced her. She was definitely the voice of reason in the madhouse of his mind. 


	34. Chapter 34

The floor looked freshly polished. Light from the floor to ceiling windows caused the hardwood to gleam. And the floor was so expansive. There was so much space with very little furniture to get in the way. It had been so long since she had space, room to move around, stretch her limbs.

She’d been raised in the city. A poor girl in a poor neighborhood, Kate was accustomed to the claustrophobic nature of living in the heart of any city. Every day she went to her neighbor’s house and warmed up by pushing the furniture to the walls so she could have enough space to practice. Even then, she often bumped into things.

Then she auditioned for the ballet company in a studio downtown. One with a proper barre and proper flooring. She had never danced so well.

When she first danced on stage, it felt like the whole world was hers.

Then the feeling was taken away and she retreated to her small spaces. A small flat in Paris. A crowded dressing room where she would stretch. The dancefloor packed with dancers and patrons. Her small flat in Birmingham, the banister used as a barre. Then finally back to Boston, ever the familiar feeling of being suffocated.

Now, she stood in the ballroom of Arrow House. Suddenly, she was offered all this room and for a second she didn’t know how she would fill it all.

A bit timid, Kate walked in and set her ballet shoes down on the well-kept floor. A gramophone had been brought in, at her request and was waiting in the corner by the windows.

She went to the gramophone and found a few records piled neatly on the cabinet against the wall. She hadn’t specified exactly what music she wanted, but instead just said anything classical. Shuffling through the records, her heart soared when she landed on Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake. Her neighbor would make her practice to the music nonstop, insisting Kate was destined to dance the swan’s role.

After warming up, Kate carefully tied her shoes, the motion so familiar it was as if she never stopped dancing at all. It wasn’t particularly comfortable getting back into pointe, but she knew she needed to work through the discomfort.

She returned to the gramophone and started the record. Although she couldn’t remember the number in full, she could pick out a few moves that she recalled. And it seemed the years of dancing at the Moulin Rouge and stretching in her little flats had paid off somewhat. She felt as flexible as she was in her prime. And she had remembered the techniques her neighbor barked at her for hours on end.

When she felt brave enough, she tried a fouetté. It proved to be a bit too much and she stumbled on a turn. Catching herself, Kate couldn’t help but let out a small laugh at what her neighbor might say if she had been there.

_“Weak! Again! Do it right or do not do it at all!” _

Kate smiled to herself and tried again. It was still shaky, but much better than before. When she stopped, she noticed Tommy was standing in the doorway of the ballroom.

“Oh, Tom, I thought you were out.” She felt her cheeks go a bit red as she went over to turn off the gramophone.

“I just got back and heard music in here. I was hoping I could catch a bit of you dancing.” He walked in.

“I’m really out of practice.” She admitted sheepishly.

“It looked good to me.” He met her in the middle of the room.

“That’s because you’re not a trained ballerina.” She reminded him.

He chuckled. “Yeah, I could never do any of that.” He took her hand. “It’s been a while since I’ve danced.”

“Did you used to?” Kate could vaguely recall a few moments when she might’ve caught Tommy dancing. For sure, it had to be with Grace. Maybe at the Derby or perhaps even their wedding, but Kate wasn’t too sure. The past seemed such a blur those days.

“I think the only person who really got me to dance was Greta Jurossi.” He mused.

“Who was Greta Jurossi?” Kate lifted his arm so she could do a small spin under it.

He smiled though there was sadness in his eyes. He led her into another spin, wincing a bit at how painful the pointe shoes looked. “She was the first girl I ever loved. I lost her to consumption before I went to the war.”

“Oh, Tommy, I’m sorry.” It was devastating to know that no matter how well Kate knew him, she still didn’t know the true root of all his pain. It could have been blamed on luck. Maybe his family just had no luck when it came to love. In a way it was hard to understand his persistence. So many times, he’d loved and lost. Yet, he continued to allow himself to explore another relationship.

“Yeah.” He sighed. “It was a long time ago though.” As per usual, he wasn’t willing to accept sympathy. “I don’t understand how that doesn’t hurt your feet.”

Kate smiled. “It takes a lot of practice. It’s painful at first but you learn to tolerate it. And soon you don’t feel anything.”

Tommy nodded absent-mindedly. He had some idea of what that was like.

“Miss Lynch.” Ollie looked pleased to see the woman walking towards the bakery.

“Hello, Ollie.” She smiled. “Alfie’s expecting me I hope.”

“Yeah, you can go right in.” He opened the doors for her.

Her heels attracted attention from the distillers but when they lifted their heads, they averted their eyes quickly. They would discuss the return of the American woman, but not until she was out of the room and they were absolutely sure Alfie wasn’t near either.

Alfie smiled when Kate entered his office. “There she is.”

“Good to see you, Alfie.” She greeted warmly.

“London ain’t been the same without you, love.” He chuckled and sat down behind his desk after greeting her.

Cyril trotted up to Kate when she sat too. “Hello, handsome boy,” She cooed and ruffled his ears. “I’ve missed you too, yes I have.”

“M’glad you’re here safe and sound,” Alfie said with a rare tone of empathy and concern. “’Course no one was more worried than our dear Tommy, but I’m sure he told you that.”

“Well, I appreciate it. I’m just glad to be home.”

“So, everything wrapped up back there then?” Alfie posed a question that sounded innocent enough but of course, was meant to pry.

“I’m guessing Tommy wasn’t too forthcoming on the matter.” She surmised if he was asking for the story.

“Of course, he didn’t, you know him.”

Kate sighed. She hadn’t exactly said out loud what specifically happened to anyone. But she trusted Alfie to accept the story for what it was. She understood Tommy had heard enough and telling him more would only further anger him and deepen his guilt.

“He caught me talking to Tom on the telephone. He started to…he said he was going to kill me. So, I killed him before he had the chance.”

“How did you leave the scene?” Alfie wasn’t about to clutch his pearls at what she told him. This was his job, and he could get technical about it if he wanted to. And in Kate’s case, he wanted to because he wanted to ensure what she did wouldn’t catch up to her in the future. Of course, if it did, he wouldn’t mind going to arms for her even if it meant having to work alongside Tommy.

“I made it look like someone had killed him and kidnapped me. That’s what his men think still as far as I know. I have someone there who is going to help spread the rumor and give it some validity.”

“Clever lass.” Alfie looked proud of her. “Good riddance to ‘im, yeah, fucking deserved it.”

Kate didn’t look vindicated or happy with herself. “He just…” She picked at her fingernails. Alfie had been a confidante to her in the past, but she wasn’t sure how well he could help with what happened in Boston. She might’ve felt more comfortable speaking with Polly or Ada about the matter, but Tommy’s family was a tricky situation and she didn’t want to complicate things.

Alfie picked up on her discomfort and knew there were things she hadn’t said that were on the tip of her tongue. “Whatever he did, right, it don’t take away from who you really are.”

She shook her head. “I just…it’s affecting my relationship with Tommy because I can’t get over happened. And I can’t explain it properly to Tommy because I know he only blames himself even if it wasn’t his fault. I can’t tell him otherwise. So, I feel like, there’s nothing I can do but sit with how I feel.”

“It don’t help that the fucker’s rotting now?” Alfie asked. Perhaps it varied, but he knew he got a satisfaction whenever he put someone who wronged them in their place. Whether it was metaphorical or Alfie really did put them six feet under.

Kate shook her head. “I feel it’s something I can’t shake. I-I’ve gotten better about being around Tommy but when I’m with him. I still feel like people can see it on me. I know that makes no sense but people know what happened and I can only assume they can guess the outcome. It’s like they can see it written on my face or something.”

Alfie frowned; his brow furrowed. “Is he the first man you killed?” He asked, not sure if they’d ever discussed the topic before.

Kate’s mouth opened slightly. No more lies, there was no point to continue lying. She had come clean to Tommy. “No.” She admitted. Although her death count was very low, probably compared to the men she ran with her entire life, it was still much more than a normal woman. “It’s not about me killing him. I don’t care if people know about that. I care if people know that he-” She tilted her head to the side hoping he would pick up on her hints so she wouldn’t have to say it out loud.

“He took advantage of you.” Alfie nodded. He could understand Tommy’s anger. Kate had become like a sister to Alfie, he thought very highly of her. And no one messed with Alfie’s family blood related or not.

Kate wrapped her arms around herself. “You think I’ve been through enough that it wouldn’t bother me.” She tried to laugh bitterly but couldn’t force herself to.

“Don’t say that, Katie. You can allow yourself to be hurt, right? That fucking monster hurt you and you deserve to be upset. Deserved to kill him too, so don’t ever feel guilty ‘bout that.” He reminded her. “Now, Tommy, he’ll learn to forgive himself. But don’t try to coddle ‘im. You be honest with him.”

“I will.” 

“Good, lass. Now, looking to the future, what’s next, aye?”

“Well, everything’s out in the open now.” She took a deep breath. “So now I’m going to move forward.”

“You have plans?”

“Yeah.”

“Good, so do I.”

“Kate?” Tommy caught her coming in through the front door and passing by his study.

“Hi.” She smiled when she saw him.

“How was London? Alfie’s well?”

“Yeah, it was nice to see him again.” She walked into the room to give him a kiss.

“I’m sure he was happy to see you as well.” Tommy chuckled. “Sure, he was scrambling to make things work when you were gone. You’re crucial to his smuggling operation.”

“I know, and I make sure he remembers.” She laughed softly, feeling a bit lighter after speaking with Alfie.

“You’ve a telegram from London.” He sifted through the papers on his desk to hand it to her.

“Oh, good, I’ve been expecting one.” She took it from him and scanned the typed letter with a nod. “Good.”

Tommy sat back in his desk chair; his fingers laced over his stomach. “Good news?”

“Yes, and it pertains to you as well.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Aye?”

“While you mend your relationship with your family, you should be looking for allies. Especially since Luca Changretta is still a threat you need to keep mindful of.” She started, proposing the business plan she thought of a few days earlier.

He nodded. “Okay.” Letting her continue.

“There’s a gang in London known as the Forty Elephants.”

A skeptical look began to form on his face. “I’m aware…”

“I’ve reached out to their leader, Alice. Just to meet up. I think it’s something you should consider. You’re looking for territory in London, looking for allies, and Alfie’s neutral with them.”

Tommy’s doubt was mixed with amusement. “They’re a petty shoplifting gang.”

“They’ve chased out four independent gangs in the West End. They were allied with Elephant and Castle but as you know, Sabini’s been getting the upper hand over them recently. I think you need to step in. Alfie’s allied with Elephant and Castle, but if you absorb them and aid the Forty Elephants, you gain control over West End and your tie with Camden Town is much stronger.”

His mirth faded as he realized Kate was elaborating on a very solid plan. “You’re confident about this?”

“Very.” She looked pleased that she was getting through to him.

He smiled and shook his head with a look of awe. “God, I’ve missed your wits.” He said affectionately.

“It’s good to be able to use my wits again.”

He chuckled. “Alright, send a telegram back to Alice, tell her I’m willing to meet with her. You’ll be with me, of course.” He arranged. “Now, c’mere.” He grabbed her hand to pull her onto his lap so he could kiss her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //The title IS Roguish WOMEN. So prepare yourselves, my friends. For the forty elephants.


	35. Chapter 35

Birmingham got a taste of luxury once the Shelbys started to really bring in money. People around Small Heath started to become familiar with the sight of a three-piece suit and expensive cars.

Still, heads turned when Alice Diamond stepped out of her car and walked into the factory. She didn’t attempt to hide her wealth. She’d grown up poor and lived the part for many years. Now, it was her turn to receive what she felt she deserved. And if she wanted to flaunt it, she would.

She wore an embroidered silk coat that was lined with fur on the cuffs and neck. Where she managed to get silk was anyone’s guess. She wore a matching cloche hat in a stunning royal blue with a couple of exotic feathers tucked in the band. Her heels couldn’t be heard over the loud noise until she made her way up the stairs to the offices. The diamond on her finger glinted when she removed her coat, revealing a fashionable wrap dress. Aside from her display of wealth, she also stood inches over the men she passed and her naturally tall height was only enhanced by her heels. A true fuck-you to the notion that women were supposed to be tiny little things, Alice never neglected to wear heels. She didn’t care if she was taller than other men. In fact, she welcomed it. 

“Miss Diamond.” Kate smiled. She stood beside Tommy near the stairs to greet their guests. Because while Alice Diamond turned heads, her counterpart was a bit more subdued. Maggie Hill, born into a criminal family, she was certainly tougher and favored respect over jewels.

“Please, call me Alice.” She fanned herself. “It’s warm in here.”

“It’ll be cooler in me office; I have a fan going,” Tommy assured her.

“You must be Kate.” Alice pointedly ignored Tommy and shook Kate’s hand first.

“I’m glad we could meet.” Kate shook her hand.

“This is my associate, Maggie Hill.”

“You’re Billy Hill’s sister,” Tommy remarked. Kate had made sure that there had been no prior run-ins with the Elephant and Castle gang or anything that might derail the negotiations. But he knew Billy’s gang was on the decline, so he set his sights for bigger players like Sabini and Alfie.

The woman who stood as Alice’s shadow looked Tommy up and down. “You shot Billy Kimber.” Responding in such a way that was very common to Tommy and Kate. Never really answering questions, instead only replying with another question.

It was interesting to know that despite the years that had passed, somethings could never escape Tommy’s repertoire. Never mind that he created an empire, some people only saw him for the people he’d taken down. Not that he minded much, it was good people didn’t forget who he was.

Maggie scrutinized him. “I thought you’d be bigger, the way people talk ‘bout you.”

“We all like to have a bit of myth about ourselves, don’t we?” Kate smiled. “Tommy’s office is just this way.” She led the women to the office.

Tommy shut the door behind them as they got settled.

“Alfie had a lot of good things to say about you, Kate,” Alice said. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard him say a nice thing about anyone.”

She laughed as she sat down beside Tommy’s chair, waiting for him to sit as well. “Alfie’s become a dear friend.”

“Well, any friend of Alfie is a friend of ours.” Alice crossed her ankles and rested her hands on her knees.

As Tommy was sitting, he noticed the pear-shaped ruby gemstone dangling from Alice’s necklace. “That’s quite the stone.” He remarked, pointing to it. “Did you steal that from Liberty’s on Regent Street? I hear they have very nice things.”

Kate kicked him under the desk but Alice merely looked amused.

“I don’t wear anything stolen, Mr. Shelby.” She replied coolly. “And I hardly have the time to lift anything anymore. I’ve got an operation to run, after all.” She touched the point of the ruby. “That’s the difference between you and me. The police don’t have a leg to stand on when it comes to trying to lock me up. What do they have? Nothing. I don’t get my hands dirty these days.”

“You hire mercenaries,” Tommy responded as if they were talking about nothing but the weather. “Men who lay down the law for you.”

Alice smiled and glanced over at Maggie. “So maybe all those stories about his cleverness aren’t shit.”

Her associate merely shrugged. 

It was difficult to judge the look on Tommy’s face. Kate figured she could read him well enough by that point in their relationship. But there were sometimes when he didn’t let anything past his stony expression. She knew a couple of jabs at his intelligence, or height, wouldn’t shake him. Lord knows anyone who put up with Alfie Solomons would have to learn to take a joke. Plus, he kept Kate around even when she teased him. He did like smart women. But she knew that he wasn’t really in a jovial mood those days. Hardly anyone in his family was speaking to him and he had a threat looming overseas.

Kate knew that he was taking business matters very seriously, so she stepped in to try and right the course of the meeting. “Alice, we were hoping to make an alliance with the Forty Elephants. As I said in the telegram I sent, I think it might be beneficial to both of us.”

Alice looked bored as she pretended to examine the diamond on her finger. “I don’t see how that’s beneficial to me. I don’t need a group of men telling me what to do.” Her eyes flicked up to Tommy.

“We’re not looking to overtake your territory.” Kate prefaced.

“That’s what they all say.” Maggie piped up. “Tommy Shelby isn’t any different, is he?” She spoke as if he weren’t even in the room. “A man who thinks because we’re women we’re looking for protection. Then when we’ve begun to trust him, he’ll step in and take everything we’ve worked for.”

“I don’t need control over a few blocks in London,” Tommy replied.

Alice let out a fake laugh. “Few blocks? And what do you have? A shit hole of a city to call your kingdom? We live among high society, Mr. Shelby. You live among drunks and thieves.”

“They’re loyal. High society isn’t loyal.” He kept in stride with the two women, not missing a beat. “If you don’t come from old money, they don’t care about you. Your high society sees you as funny little things. Isn’t it cute that a poor girl born out of wedlock can dress up like us?” Then his gaze turned to Maggie. “They love criminal families too. Think they’re fun. They love rubbing elbows with a girl from a long line of trouble-makers.”

Kate was wary, hoping that Tommy’s analysis wouldn’t cause a rift. But Alice and Maggie didn’t seem to flinch.

“Is that your plan then? You want to fill London with low-lifes like you? Drive out the gentry?”

“You hate them as much as I do. But you love to play their games and make them lose.” Tommy shrugged. “If you didn’t, you’d go back to living a poor life.”

A small smile formed on Alice’s painted lips. “I assume you’re looking for a cut in exchange your men help us maintain order.”

“We can offer more.” Kate stepped in again, a bit surprised that Tommy’s strategy was working so well. “I’m sure you know we’re helping Alfie with smuggling. We could help you as well. Goods you need brought in or out of the country, we’ll take care of it for a small cut.”

“I have a network created for that,” Alice replied.

“And we can work with that. But we can take it further. France, Italy, overseas, wherever you need.”

Alice sat back in her chair as she contemplated the deal. “I suppose we could make this work. I’ll need to have a contract drawn up though, and we can review it on a later date.”

“That sounds great.” Kate perked up. “I’m so glad we could come to some sort of an agreement.”

Alice stood up and folded her coat over her arm. “I can see why Alfie likes you two so much.” She noted before heading toward the door.

Maggie gave them both a nod before following her out.

When they left, Kate looked at Tommy with disbelief. “You really went out on a limb talking to them like that.” She said with a sigh of relief.

“No.” He shook his head. “That was planned.”

“Pardon?”

“They’re afraid of a larger gang trying to take them over because they’re women. So I talked to them, not like women but like gang leaders. It’s mutual respect.” He explained as if he were explaining his moves on a chessboard.

Kate shook her head. “I’ll never know what truly goes on in that big head of yours.” She kissed his forehead as she stood up. “I’ll start drawing up a contract.”

Later that day, Tommy and Kate drove back to Warwickshire to spend the weekend at Arrow House. He was hoping to have some time to relax with her. After securing a deal with Alice, he felt a little more at ease. Of course, there were many things still weighing on his mind that were very serious, but he could put them to rest for a couple of days. Besides, with an alliance with the Forty Elephants, he now had more people with eyes and ears open to news coming in and out of London. They were closer to Sabini’s territory so naturally, they would hear things before it got to him.

After taking a long ride out in the sprawling countryside, Tommy returned back to the house as the sun was setting. He searched the first floor for Kate until he heard some music playing upstairs. He followed the jazz music to the bedroom they now shared with each other. Two doors down from the master bedroom that had been closed off from anyone but Tommy, permanently encasing Grace’s memory.

With the music playing, Kate didn’t hear Tommy come in. Her back was turned to the door as she folded some of her clothes to put away.

She startled when she felt his hands on her hips. Jerking back, she turned to see who grabbed her, ready to disarm them. “God, Thomas, you can’t sneak up on me like that.” She scolded.

He chuckled and held his hands up. “Sorry.”

“It’s not funny.” She muttered and returned to putting her clothes away.

He frowned, unsure of why she was being so sensitive. Then he remembered the moment on the ship. When she reacted so instinctually to him touching her. “Kate, you know I would never hurt you.”

“I _know _that, don’t you think I know that?” She snapped. But of course, she wasn’t angry with him. She was angry with herself for feeling like she couldn’t control her reaction. How she couldn’t lay down her defenses and understand that he wasn’t trying to harm her like Santo did.

He was quiet for a moment, trying to judge the next best approach. “If you want me to leave you be, I will. But I think maybe you might feel better if you talk about it.”

Kate swallowed and stared at the dresser in front of her. “I want to be happy with you, I really do. I want to be with you an-and have a family but I just…” She shook her head. “I don’t know how to forget.”

It was difficult. Tommy wanted to hold her close to comfort her but didn’t want to further upset her. “If it takes time, it takes time. I can be patient.”

She noticed when he took a step back from her. It sent her into a panic and she turned around to grab his arm. “Please don’t distance yourself from me.” She begged. “I can’t stand it. I-I know I’m pushing you away but I can’t lose you again.”

He could see the distraught look in her blue eyes. The conflict she was struggling with was clear. She wanted so desperately to be in love with him, to have the relationship they’d both wanted for years. But she couldn’t shake the past. He took her hand and kissed her knuckles. “Can I show you something?”

She nodded and let him lead her out of the room and down the hall. He went to the door that was next to the master bedroom. It was unlocked, unlike Grace’s room. He allowed Kate inside and she found herself in a half-finished nursery. There was a bare crib, a changing table, and a rocking chair all collecting dust.

“I started putting this together,” Tommy explained. “When Grace found out, she told me she wasn’t pregnant. We fought about it but I realized it wasn’t the end. We could figure it out and have children eventually. It’s how I convinced myself everything would be alright. That I could live with the lies.” He paused realizing how difficult it still was to talk about. “When she died, I couldn’t touch it. Couldn’t take the cot out or whatever.” He ran a hand through his hair, finding it hard to even look at the furniture. “I just thought…it’s supposed to be here and things will work out.” 

Kate carefully touched the edge of the crib. “With me?” She wondered.

He nodded. “The amount of guilt I felt, I can’t even tell you, Kate. For marrying her and-”

“Don’t.” She returned to him in the doorway. “Don’t apologize for marrying her. I know you loved her and I’m okay with that. We’ve both been holding a lot of guilt for a long time. Maybe, to move forward we need to just let it go. Absolve ourselves.”

“Okay.” He agreed. Both of them knew it wouldn’t be some easy task of letting go of years of guilt and burden. But it was a start to at least try.

Kate wrapped her arms around him and kissed him slowly. That’s how they would need to take things regarding their personal lives, slowly. Everything else was at such a fast pace. Business decisions needed to be made rapidly, they needed to always be on top of things, always two steps ahead of their opponents. But behind closed doors, just between them, they could be cautious and gentle.

They parted and Tommy kissed her forehead affectionately.

She allowed him to hold her close in his arms, reminding herself that it was okay. “I’ll admit I don’t know how great of a mother I’ll be. I mean, I never expected to ever find someone, never mind falling in love with them.”

“I think you’d be surprised.” He chuckled, grateful for something to lighten the mood. “You never cease to amaze me.”

Kate smiled and rested her cheek against his shoulder. “I guess we’ll see.”


	36. Chapter 36

When Michael returned to the office, it was tense, to say the least. He and Tommy got into shouting matches a few times and everyone could clearly hear them in the office. But it seemed that Michael was too invested in the company to let things get in the way. As well as Tommy wasn’t willing to give up his accountant.

So, things died down a couple of weeks after he returned. Meanwhile, the deal was written and the company was now working with the Forty Elephants. Kate kept in regular contact with Alice and Maggie, building a repertoire as she did with Alfie. Of course, like with Alfie, she found she enjoyed the women’s company. They were women who understood her, understood the things she did. Before, Kate had no one who really understood her other than a group of men. Still, how could they understand what it was like to be a woman in their line of work?

So, being friends with Alice and the rest of her close cohorts was refreshing.

“So, Alfie told me you were in Boston for some time.”

Kate had invited Alice and a few of the other women to join her for lunch at Arrow House. Maggie came along as well as Ruby Sparks and Lillian Goldstein. What looked like a typical ladies' lunch out on the patio was actually a gathering of some of the most dangerous women Britain had ever seen. And Kate felt right at home with them.

“There were things from my past that caught up with me,” Kate admitted. “Things I needed to take care of.”

While Alice looked genuinely interested, Maggie seemed a bit more intent on digging for anything that might garner mistrust. The contract was signed, but that didn’t mean they completely trusted each other yet. They were women who knew the true value of loyalty and how rare it was to find.

“Stuff like what?” Maggie inquired.

“A man I had dealings with.” Kate realized that there was no reason to skimp on details. These girls would understand. “I hired him to kill the man who killed my mother. A man in the Chicago Outfit. I promised him money for doing it but fell through. The deal was either I paid or I married him.”

Ruby made a noise of disgust. “Fucking pig. Who on Earth does he think he is?”

It made her smile a bit even though the memory was so painful. “He caught up to me eventually so I had to return to Boston.”

“Do you need him killed?” Alice asked bluntly. “You name the day and way, love.”

“Fucking castrate him and throw him out on the streets,” Ruby muttered into her teacup.

“Thank you, but he’s dead,” Kate assured them. It was different, hearing them become angry about it. The reactions were similar to Alfie and Tommy. They all wanted to kill the man who treated her poorly. But Alice and the others were acting on empathy instead of sympathy. They understood the plight of being a woman. Struggling under the thumb of a man. They understood the anger and desire to change the tides. To make other men feel the pressure on the back of their necks. It was a shared existence. And as hard as he could try, Tommy wouldn’t understand.

“Good.” Alice nodded. “You killed him?”

“I wouldn’t let him kill me.” Her voice quieted as her brow furrowed in thought. “He took so much from me.”

Lillian, who seemed to be the gentlest of the group touched Kate’s arm. “You’re still standing. You’re still here. He couldn’t take that away from you.”

She nodded, not sure what else to say about the matter. There was comfort in knowing she had allies who understood. Then, Kate noticed the ring on Lillian’s finger. “Oh, I didn’t know you were married.”

Alice, Maggie, and Ruby all snorted. “I’m not, technically.” Lillian looked to Ruby at her right. “Ruby and I…”

It took a moment for Kate to connect the dots but she finally realized when they looked at each other. “Oh, oh of course. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed.”

Maggie studied Kate’s reaction with scrutiny. “It’s something we accept.” She spoke in a firm tone as if to ward off any criticism.

“Of course, no I…I completely understand,” Kate assured them. “There are no rules when it comes to love, least not in my eyes.”

Lillian smiled as Ruby reached for her hand. Both of them seemed relieved to act normally around Kate. There wasn’t anything to hide between the women.

“We hope your men understand that as well,” Alice added.

“Well, I can certainly talk to Tommy about it if you want me to. But I wouldn’t call them _my _men.” She laughed softly. “I don’t call the shots around the company.”

Alice just shook her head with an amused look. “Men can think they’re in control, but it’s usually not the case. It’s usually the woman behind him.”

“Yeah, the one who’s got his balls in her purse.” Maggie quipped making them all burst out into laughter.

Kate realized how nice it was to laugh again.

That same night, Tommy came home earlier than usual. Kate found him downstairs smoking a cigarette and flipped through some mail.

He smiled when he saw her walk into his study. “Did you have a nice lunch today?” He asked. “Mary said you four were in stitches the whole time.”

Kate laughed softly. “They’re very fun to be around.” She agreed.

“All they do is give me the cold shoulder.”

“Hm, maybe it’s how you come across.” She walked over to him, adjusting the collar of his shirt to turn his attention away from the mail in his hand. “I wasn’t very fond of you at first.”

“That’s not true, you liked me.” He dropped the envelopes to pull her close.

“Eh, you were difficult to like. At least you’re handsome.” She teased.

He scoffed and shook his head. “Those women are a bad influence on you.” He joked.

Kate laughed and ran her fingers through his hair. “It’s nice to have other women to talk to. It’s boring talking to men all day.”

“Hm.” He hummed and wrapped his arms around her waist.

“But I am glad to see you again.” She murmured and kissed him.

He deepened the kiss, pressing his hands to the small of her back. But he knew it was up to her to lead. There had been a few times when Tommy overstepped, getting carried away with the moment and Kate shied away. She said it wasn’t his fault, but he knew he was responsible for making her feel safe.

She pulled away and hugged him close, inhaling his cologne mixed with cigarettes to feel at home again.

He lightly peppered kisses down her jaw and neck, holding her tenderly. “Want to go away with me this weekend?” He asked.

“Sure, where to?” A little break sounded like heaven to her.

“Doncaster. I’m going to buy another racehorse and there’s an auction there on Monday. But I figure we could make it a longer trip. If you’d like.”

“That sounds perfect.”

“We could make a week of it.” He proposed. “Go further north, somewhere on the ocean. Scarborough has a nice place to stay by the water.”

Kate lifted her head to look at him. “I’ll follow you wherever, Tommy Shelby.”

“Morning, Kate.” Michael greeted her as she entered the office.

“Michael, how are you?”

Tommy’s cousin didn’t answer because he noticed she had a luggage case with her. “Are you going somewhere?” He asked.

“Tommy and I are leaving this afternoon for Doncaster then to Scarborough.” She answered, setting her case down so she could take a paper that Michael was holding out for her.

The young man seemed a little disgruntled at the fact that his cousin was taking the time to have a holiday while the rest of the family was in turmoil. But there was little he could say or do. Mentioning anything would only lead to another argument. And Michael didn’t have the energy. He was only barely making it by, using snow to keep from crashing as he worked tireless hours.

“I suspect he’s getting another horse,” Michael noted, remembering the last time he went to Doncaster with the rest of the family. When they were all still speaking to each other. Before the terrible nightmares, he had.

“I suppose. I guess we’ll see when we get there.” Kate looked to the door. Tommy had followed her into the building but stayed on the first floor to speak with some of the workers. “How is your mom?” She asked. Seldom could she ask Tommy about the others. He never wanted to talk about what happened and always cast aside her concern.

Michael sighed. “She’s not well. S’been seeing things because of the tablets they have her on.” He admitted. “Talks to spirits.”

Kate had always known Polly as the strong, woman in charge. Secure and reliable, it was hard to hear how the imprisonment had such a negative effect on her. It didn’t matter how strong one was, there was always something that could break them. “I’ve tried to talk to Tommy about everything, I really have but…”

“I know.” Michael nodded. “It’s okay, Kate, it’s not your place to fix things. It’s Tommy’s responsibility.” He scrubbed a hand over his weary eyes. “But they’re all too headstrong to face each other.”

“Right, I’m aware.” She agreed, still glancing at the door every so often just to see if Tommy would walk in. She didn’t mind if he heard her talking about his family. But she also didn’t want the subject to sour their trip together. “And John and Arthur?”

“Out in the countryside. Linda’s due any day now.” Michael figured. “Ada said she’d tell me when the baby was born. He won’t talk to me. Ada’s been…well the buffer I suppose.” He mumbled.

“I haven’t spoken to her in a bit.” Kate admitted. She’d been so caught up in the deal with the Forty Elephants that she’d neglected to stay in touch.

“Tommy’s sending her to Boston soon.” Michael shrugged. “Guess he’s got plans out there.”

Kate’s heart nearly stopped. “What?”

He looked at her blankly. “He didn’t tell you?”

“No…no he didn’t.” She cursed under her breath. “I’m going to leave this here for a moment.” She said, gesturing to her luggage before leaving. “I need to find Tommy.” 


	37. Chapter 37

On her way out of the office, Kate stopped Niall. “Where’s Tommy?”

“Talking to the foreman, I suspect.” The man replied. “Said he was going to clear up some business before he left for Doncaster.”

Kate left in a huff, storming down the stairs to the factory floor. “Tommy?” The heat of the machinery and coal was almost unbearable but she carried on.

The men working the line knew better than to give her a second glance. Some of them more familiar with her had even given her the respect they gave the other Shelbys who worked there. A curt nod and a “’Morning Miss.”

But she ignored them as she searched. “Tommy!”

On her way out of the office, Kate stopped Niall. “Where’s Tommy?”

“Talking to the foreman, I suspect.” The man replied. “Said he was going to clear up some business before he left for Doncaster.”

Kate left in a huff, storming down the stairs to the factory floor. “Tommy?” The heat of the machinery and coal was almost unbearable but she carried on.

The men working the line knew better than to give her a second glance. Some of them who were more familiar with her had even given her the respect they gave the other Shelbys who worked there. A curt nod and a “’ Morning Miss.”

But she ignored them as she searched. “Tommy!”

Finally, her call got to him and he realized immediately by her tone that she wasn't happy or something was wrong. "Kate?" He walked down the line to find her. "I was just about to come up, we can leave soon."

"You're sending Ada to Boston, are you fucking crazy?" She demanded, not about to let him derail her from her anger. "After what happened there?"

Tommy knew it was his cousin who had let the news slip. Of course, he hadn't explicitly said not to tell Kate, but he hoped it would be implied. He was hoping over the trip to Doncaster they could talk about it. But apparently plans would be changed. "It's just on legitimate business, nothing to do with anything other than that." He tried to quell her exasperation quickly, but it appeared she wouldn't be satisfied with business talk.

"Tommy, Santo's men are smart. I may have gotten away for now but eventually, they will figure everything out. Especially now that you're working with Frank. You can't do anything in secret. It'll get out and they'll know your name."

"Trust me..."

"No, trust me. I know these men better than you do. I know that city better than you do. If you think sending your sister there alone, without protection is a good idea then you've really lost your mind."

"She won't be alone. We're setting up business in Boston. Ada is in charge of acquiring property while she's over there."

"And you realize the boundaries already set up by gangs? If she buys something that's in the wrong area..."

"That's partly why we've continued contact with Frank Wallace. He'll be helping notify Ada of good locations as well as safe locations. I've contracted the Gustin Gang to protect Ada as well as any other Shelby Company employees who are a part of the American division."

Kate narrowed her eyes at him. She couldn't argue that it was a bad idea. That would be putting doubt on Frank and his brother who she trusted with her own life. But the set up still rubbed her the wrong way and she wasn't about to let him go about the day without knowing that. "Don't talk to me like I'm stupid."

"Kate-"

"You can use your professional speak or whatever, but you know I have a right to be concerned. And a right to be angry that the first time I'm hearing of this is from Michael."

Tommy sighed and removed his glasses so he could pinch the bridge of his nose. It was too early to argue. He was looking forward to a nice trip though, and he couldn't have that if they didn't resolve things.

"How long have you been planning this?" Kate asked. But before he could answer, she continued. "And don't lie to me because I have no problems asking Ada the same question because I know she'll tell me the truth."

"Few weeks." He admitted. "Nothing was official until Michael returned though. I needed his input."

"Few weeks." She scoffed in disbelief. "And you never thought once that, oh, Kate would know a thing or two about the place she was born. About the people there who ruined her life. The people who are still looking for her!" She snapped.

"I didn't want to worry you about it. You were already dealing with so much, Kate." Tommy softened his voice, not blaming her for being upset, but not knowing what else to do.

"So, this is how you think you're going to help me?" Her voice raised, not at all matching his tone. "Keeping things from me? Getting involved with Boston again? Risking my life after all I went through?" She shouted so loudly that she was heard over the factory machinery.

Tommy noticed some of the men were throwing glances their way. No one needed to hear about this. "Everyone out!" He yelled.

There was a hesitation. Everyone looking at each other, not sure what to do in the middle of working.

"Did I fucking stutter? Everyone get the fuck out, now!" He raised his voice even louder to the point he was going hoarse.

The foreman picked up on his boss's anger. "Shut it down, fuck off!" He snapped at all the workers.

Tommy and Kate continued to stand off silently as the entire factory line emptied around them. The sound of the machines quieted until the only sound was coming from the office upstairs and some pigeons in the eaves above. 

"I'm doing everything I can." He spoke gently again.

There was a ringing in Kate's ears after going from the loud factory sounds to almost complete silence. She could hear her own heartbeat again, her own breathing. It was only an indication that she needed to hold her ground. "You said it was all behind us. Now you're unearthing something. This is what you do, Tommy, you just keep digging. Bringing up the dead over and over and over again. Why can't you just let things rest?"

"We need capital in America if we're going to try to trade on Wall Street. That's what Michael advised me and I trust his financial judgment."

She let a small sarcastic laugh. "So, it's money. That's what this is all about?"

"This didn't have anything to do with you. It wasn't about your past. It's a city, Kate. That's all it is."

The words stung. Maybe he didn't even know they would hurt her so badly, but they did. "You don't understand at all, then.” She wanted to turn away.

“Maybe I don’t understand!” Tommy snapped. “Okay, I wasn’t there for you. Don’t you think that kills me every single day? That I wasn’t there for you and I have no clue what you suffered through? So, I don’t understand.”

It was rare for him to ever admit his wrongs. When he built a hill, he planned on dying on top of it. But he couldn’t, not this time.

Kate took a deep breath and looked at him. “I know you’re only thinking of business. I know it never crossed your mind because that’s the way you think. Now that I’m telling you, what are you going to do?”

There was a flutter of wings overhead as some birds flew to their nests. “I won’t let a city get in the way of your happiness. I’m not going to let it be this hanging over your head every second of the day. I know we’re different about how we operate. But you want to know how I work things out?”

She felt her anger simmering away as he looked at her with genuine eyes. “Yeah.”

“Someone hurts me? I take everything from them. That’s worse than death. You killed Santo but I know that’s not the end for you. You’re worried about Frank getting hurt, you’re worried about Santo’s men figuring everything out, and you’re worried about the Changrettas. So, give me the leeway and I’ll make sure none of that happens.”

“Tom…” She sighed and stepped closer to him. “This cycle can’t sustain itself. You saw that with the Changrettas. You continued to go on the offensive and now…now I don’t know what’s going to happen but I know it’s not going to be good. I don’t want you to stir up anything in Boston.” It felt like kicking a dead horse. She would be haunted by it forever but that didn’t mean she needed to dig up old shit. “But I know that I can’t change your mind about sending Ada there.”

“I wouldn’t send my sister or my nephew somewhere unsafe.” He reminded her.

“I know.” She sighed. “I know you wouldn’t. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize for anything.” He brought her close to kiss her forehead. “Now, we can have a nice weekend away from all of this. No work talk.”

“Really?” She eyed him suspiciously. “Is that even possible for you?”

He chuckled. “I’ll certainly try.”

“So, how much are you planning on spending on a horse?” Kate asked as she walked arm in arm into the auction hall with Tommy. It was nice to have an excuse to dress up a bit and she liked being on Tommy’s arm. It was something she’d dreamed about for so long, finally being his and having him as hers.

It was also fun to wonder why people were staring at them. Did they know Tommy? Did they know Kate? Were women jealous? Were men jealous? It was a bit of an esteem boost for Kate who for so long had been keeping her head down. She liked to think time healed wounds but she also knew that a lot of her confidence came from spending time with Alice and the others. They flaunted what they had and didn’t apologize for it. Alice often chided Kate for looking at the ground when she walked.

_ “Keep your head up. You’re beautiful and don’t let other people’s opinions of you put you down.”_

Tommy looked down at the guide in his hand. “Depends. There’s a colt that’s a thoroughbred cross that looks promising.”

“Who will train him?”

“May Carleton. You two met, didn’t you?” He asked as they walked up the stairs to the main viewing balcony.

Kate recalled meeting the woman a long time ago. “Yeah, I remember her coming around to the betting shop. I didn’t know you two still spoke.”

“She’s been training my horses for a few years. She’s good at her job.”

"Mhm. And you two have a history."

Tommy glanced over at her, trying to judge her expression. "Because she trained my horses?"

"Is that what you call it?"

He noticed a mischievous glint in her eye when she flashed him an innocent smile. "You're messing with me."

"Am not!"

"Oh, you can bring her to a fancy event, dress her up, but she'll still always be my Kate." He slipped an arm around her waist.

"And is there anything wrong with that?" She teased though her heart skipped a beat when he called her his.

"Of course not." He kissed her temple and led her up to the railing to view the auction ring below.

"What's the horse's name that you're looking at?" She asked, leaning into his side.

"Buchanan."

"Hm, presidential name." Kate watched as a black-coated horse was led out into the ring. "Is that him?"

Tommy listened to the auctioneer and shook his head. "No."

"Oh, that one's beautiful though."

The colt walked with a spring in his step, nostrils flared as he took in the unfamiliar surroundings. His mane was tightly wound into button braids and his tail was clipped. His coat gleamed in the light as he walked the small ring.

Tommy noticed the look in Kate's eyes. And when the auctioneer asked for six hundred guineas, he raised his hand.

"What are you doing?" She hissed.

"Buying you a horse." He replied as if he was merely giving her a bouquet of flowers.

"We're here to buy you a horse, not me."

He met the bid again at six hundred and fifty. "I can buy two horses, it's fine, Kate."

"I'm not a good rider, Tom. I'll look like an idiot up on that horse." She batted at his hand to try and get him to stop bidding.

"We'll have him trained and you can take lessons in the meantime. By the time he's broken in, you'll be a great rider." He raised the bid again to seven hundred.

"Tommy!"

"Seven hundred, sold!" The auctioneer banged the gavel and began to move onto the next horse.

Tommy looked a little smug. "Too late."

Kate rolled her eyes but couldn't help the smile on her face. "You're the worst."

After winning the bid on Buchanan as well, Tommy retrieved the papers for both horses. "There you are." He handed Kate the ownership paper. "Proud owner of Midnight Blue."

She smiled. "I like that name. I'll probably just call him Blue though." She figured. "Are they all set in the trailer?"

"Yep, they just left for Warwickshire. They'll call when they've arrived. We'll probably be in Scarborough by then."

Kate kissed his cheek. "Thank you." She said softly. "You didn't have to do this but...it was very sweet of you." No matter what she went through and the horrors she experienced, the passion for romance could never be stomped out. She was still the young girl inside who desperately wanted some Prince Charming to come and sweep her off her feet. Though she didn't need Tommy to spend money on her, the gesture meant something.

“C’mon, love, let’s get onto our holiday.”

The resort in Scarborough was right on the water. The second the salt air hit her lungs, Kate felt her muscles relax. For the longest time, the ocean had been some symbol of heartache. The ocean had taken her father. The ocean had separated her from Tommy. But now, here, she was in a rejuvenating place where she could mend.

“Beautiful, aye?” Tommy asked as he lit up a cigarette.

“Gorgeous.” Kate agreed. “I’ve never seen a place like this.”

"I've checked in with the front desk and they said the room's ready. Do you want to head up? Get ready for dinner?"

Kate nodded and took his waiting hand. "I've got a dress that's gonna knock your socks off, Mr. Shelby."

A boy did she. A lilac gown covered in black beading with a drop waist and a skirt that fell straight to the floor.

The two had never complimented each other so well. When they walked together down to dinner, Kate on Tommy's arm, people couldn't help but look. And what they saw was a couple that looked made for each other. They didn't know what an uphill battle it had been for the two to get to that spot. But they were there, finally.

True to his word, Tommy didn't bring up anything to do with business. They talked about Buchanan and Blue, talked about Epsom, about Kate's disdain for mint juleps, Tommy's first drink when he was just twelve, the time Kate nearly broke her leg after a night of drinking, Tommy's rap sheet of broken bones, what they were like as kids, and the night just wore on. Neither tired of each other.

But finally, Kate got Tommy to dance with her. He kept her close, his hand on the small of her back as they swayed together to the band playing. They talked softly to each other, just barely hearing one another over the music and chatter of other dancers.

Then, Tommy whispered in her ear, "Want to get some air?"

A bit flushed, Kate nodded. "Sure." She followed him out onto the patio deck that overlooked the ocean.

A few small groups of people were outside as well, smoking and talking where it was quieter.

"I wanted to ask you something. And I don't want to make a big fuss about it because I know that's not really what you would want."

"Um, okay." She looked over at him. "What is it?"

He cleared his throat and reached into the inside pocket of his jacket. He took her left hand and with his right, pulled out a ring box. "Will you marry me?" His thumb popped open the box, revealing a diamond ring that looked like something in the royal family would wear.

Kate was shocked. Of course, the thought had crossed her mind before. She only ever wanted to be with Tommy, even when she assumed she would never see him again, or even worse, would never have the chance to be with him. But here was the opportunity right in front of her. Something she never thought would happen. She let out a small laugh of disbelief. "Is this a dream?"

Tommy smiled and tucked a stray curl away from her eyes. "I promise it's real."

For so long, Kate thought she could never truly be herself around anyone. Vulnerability would only lead to her demise so she kept her barriers high. But she realized that if there was only one person she would share everything with, it would be Tommy. That was more than enough for her. So she nodded.

"Yes, I'll marry you." She said with such excitement in her voice that it made Tommy's smile grow. "I love you." She whispered and kissed him softly. 


	38. Chapter 38

Tommy almost knocked over the phone as he pushed Kate up against the wall as she kissed him so roughly that he could feel his lips bruising. But he didn’t dare let her let up.

He groaned against her lips when she tugged on his hair playfully. “Don’t rush.” He murmured when she pulled away to start undoing his shirt buttons.

“I’m fine.” She frantically rid him of the shirt and dropped her hands to his waistband.

“Kate…” He took her hands in his. He realized there was something wrong. It was almost like she was forcing the act, pushing through to prove herself something. “There’s no need to rush.”

Her lower lip quivered. “He’s not taking this from me, Tommy. He doesn’t control me anymore. He-he can’t ruin me anymore.”

He could feel her hands trembling. “Sh, love, just take a deep breath.”

“It’s not fair!” She cried out of frustration at the things she couldn’t control.

“Kate, just sit down for a moment and take a breath.” He coaxed again.

“Unzip me.” She huffed turning around with her arms crossed. He did and she stepped out of the dress, leaving it on the floor. She walked to the in-suite bathroom and turned on the sink to splash water on her face. Grabbing one of the washcloths, she scrubbed at her face.

“Kate, just come in here and talk to me.” Tommy waited in the middle of the room, not sure what else to do.

“Look at this, Tom. Look!” She held out her arms.

It was hard not to see what she was referencing. She was riddled with scars, ones that looked old, and ones that looked more recent. Each one of them told a story that Tommy wasn’t privy too, but he knew that they haunted her.

“He left his mark on me. That bastard took everything and I still remember him every time I look in the mirror.” It almost felt like each scar that Santo had left was burning with anger. Granted, she had acquired some of the scars from much earlier in her life. A bicycle incident as a young girl, a knife wound from an attempted mugging as a young ballerina, and other minor nicks and marks. But the freshest ones were the most painful. The scars around her knuckles from when she shattered the bathroom mirror. The time Santo threw a vase at her and it cut her arm as she ducked. When he pushed her so hard into the sidewalk it shredded up her knees. Of course, there were times that he never left a mark. Like when he pressed a knife to her cheek and threatened to cut her if she didn’t sleep with him.

_“Good.” _He purred when she finally agreed. _“Wouldn’t want to ruin that pretty face of yours. It’s all you’re good for.” _

Kate’s breathing became shallower and she started to lose all sense of where she was. The memory wouldn’t stop playing over in her head and it was consuming all of her senses. It felt like every inch of her skin was crawling as the memories charged into her brain.

She finally collapsed in on herself, crumbling to a ball on the floor. Sobbing, she wrapped one arm around her stomach and knotted the other in her hair.

When she felt Tommy try to embrace her, she lashed out. Pushing him away, her breathing became more warped and frantic. But he didn’t push the matter because she didn’t feel him try again. She was having a hard time hearing him if he was even talking to her at all. Her mind felt too loud to hear anything. Tommy could’ve gotten up and walked out of the room without her fully knowing.

But he didn’t. After trying to hug her, he withdrew, but not by much. He sat down on the floor, his back resting against the bed. It destroyed him to see her in such a panicked state but didn’t want to further upset her with physical contact. It seemed to get them in that situation in the first place.

It took nearly an hour before Kate became coherent enough. She reached out a hand to Tommy and he took it gently.

“I’m sorry.” She hiccupped.

“Don’t apologize.” He murmured. “What’s there to apologize for, aye?”

“I just don’t know how to handle it anymore. I feel so broken.”

He sighed and stood up. He scooped her up off the floor and brought her to the bed so she could be a bit more comfortable. “You’re not broken. I know you feel that way, but you’re not. You’re still strong.” He laid down on the bed and let her curl up in his arms. “These scars are reminders that you survived. Despite everything.”

Kate buried her face in his chest, right next to the scar leftover from Black Star Day. It felt so long ago. All those years ago, in the Garrison, holding Tommy back as Jeremiah removed the bullet. She could remember never doubting that he would survive. Even so soon in their relationship, she saw a resilient person. Perhaps that’s what Tommy saw when he looked at her. Resilience, even when she felt like she was just a shell of a person.

The next morning, Kate slept in. She was tired from the emotional night before. From getting engaged to becoming a crying heap on the floor, she felt like she’d gotten whiplash.

Tommy let her sleep as he went downstairs for a smoke and to get the paper. He returned a couple of hours early to find her stirring. He leaned over the bed to give her a kiss. 

She hummed softly, waking a bit more when she felt his touch. When she reached up and grabbed his shirt to stop him when he tried to pull away, he chuckled.

“So, you are awake then?” He murmured against her lips.

“I am now.” She opened her eyes and smiled.

Tommy touched her cheek and kissed her forehead. “Feeling better?”

Her smile faded a bit. Of course, she wanted to tell him that everything was perfect. She wanted to tell him that she was all better and had gotten it all out of her system. But that would only be lying to her fiancé. Still, she skirted the question. “I’m just glad you were there for me. That means a lot.”

“Is there anything I can do?”

There wasn’t. Kate knew that and she had a feeling that Tommy knew that too. “No.” She said quietly. “Thank you, Tom.”

His brow creased but he didn’t push the matter. “Are you hungry? I can have breakfast sent up.”

“Okay, then can we take a walk on the beach?”

“Of course.”

Tommy noticed that Kate was much touchier that morning. She stayed close to him and wasn’t keen on letting go of his hand as they walked down to the beach. Tommy obviously didn’t mind, but he wondered if she was trying to prove something. As if she was worried that he was rethinking the engagement after how the night ended up. He wanted to put her mind at ease without accusing her of anything.

“So, I was thinking Arrow House would be a nice place for the wedding reception. If that sounds nice to you.”

She glanced up at him. There was a bit of relief in her eyes but there was still a block. “I think that would be perfect.” She agreed but hesitated.

“What is it?” Tommy felt he was hypersensitive to the little tells that were usually so subtle.

“I just…I don’t want to force you into a corner but I would rather wait to get married. I want your family to be there.”

He didn’t want to show any disappointment but he certainly felt dread seep into his blood when she mentioned them. “Can I ask why?”

She raised an eyebrow. “Why? Tommy, they’re your family. And in case you haven’t been paying attention all these years, they’re very important to me as well. I miss them and I know you do too.” She insisted.

“Kate, I can’t force them to do anything. If they don’t want to forgive me, then that’s their issue.” He replied, keeping his eyes forward at the beach ahead of them.

“What have you said to them?”

“Nothing. They won’t answer any of me calls. Ada and Michael said they won’t even speak about me. I’m practically dead to them.”

“It won’t be like this forever.” Kate stopped walking and reached for his other hand. “I promise it won’t.”

“Do you remember what you said to me, while back when John cut Angel Changretta?” He asked.

Kate could remember the occasion. It had been such an upset time for her, it was hard to forget. But she wasn’t too sure what she said as she was in such a charged-up state. “I’m not sure. What did I say?” 

“You asked how I could gamble the lives of my family.” His eyes were downcast, not able to meet her face. “I’ve always thought I knew what was best for the family. For the company. I’m not confident about that anymore.” He admitted.

Kate knew that he would never say such a thing to anyone Not to his enemies, his employees, or even his family. But he said it to her. “We all make mistakes. You know me, I’ve made so many in my life.” She lifted his hand to kiss his knuckles. “But I think right now you can’t stop. With the potential threat from the Changrettas, you need to keep moving. And you know that I’ll be next to you the whole time. Polly, Arthur, John, they’ll come around I promise. We’ll rekindle those relationships. But there are things that still need to be dealt with. And I’m not going anywhere, I’ll be by your side.”

Tommy finally lifted his eyes. It reminded him something Polly constantly said.

“_Behind every great man is a powerful woman.” _

“Alright. We keep moving then.”

That night, Kate and Tommy were in their hotel room getting ready for dinner. They were in a noticeably better mood after talking a few things through. It seemed they had finally worked through enough to enjoy their holiday and their engagement. Kate was sitting on the edge of the bed pulling up her stockings when the phone rang.

“Hello?” She answered.

“Katie?”

“Frank?” Kate glanced over at Tommy who was putting in his cufflinks. He paused and they shared a look of confusion.

“Frank from Boston?” Tommy asked quietly and she nodded in confirmation.

“Oh, thank God.” Frank Wallace sighed in relief. “I tell ya, it took me calling like ten people to try ‘n figure out where you were.”

“Why are you calling? Is everything okay?”

“’Fraid I have some bad news, Katie girl,” Frank admitted.

Panic flooded Kate’s system and she looked frantically at Tommy. He recognized her stress and he moved to take the phone out of her hand to take care of it himself. “Frank? It’s Tommy.”

Kate retreated from the phone, chewing on her nail as she paced around the room. Every possible scenario ran through her head. Each one was worse than the last.

“Alright. No, I understand perfectly. Let me get back to you and I’ll tell you what I think we should do. Yes, I’ll call back as soon as we get back to Birmingham. Do you want to talk to her?” Tommy looked up to Kate but saw she was in no state to have a nice conversation with one of her oldest friends. “Maybe I’ll have her call you back another time. I’ll tell her. Okay, thank you.” He hung up the phone and ran a hand over his face.

“Tom…just tell me,” Kate whispered.

“Frank said there was someone at the docks when I came to get you in Boston. They recognized you and told Santo’s men. I guess they put two and two together and figured it out that I had come and brought you back here.”

Kate knew deep down that her kidnapping ruse wouldn’t have worked forever. At some point, she had a feeling they would discover that nothing added up. If she was still active in Britain than it would probably be noticed by people in the States. “They’re weak without Santo.” She tried to sound confident. “Without him, they have no power structure.”

“That’s what Frank said. That’s why they allied with Luca Changretta.”

Kate’s stomach dropped. “Oh, God.”

“We already knew he was a threat. This doesn’t change things.” He tried to assure her.

“I might have been able to settle things with Luca. Maybe, I-I don’t know but now that he has the North End…” She sat down at the vanity, the troubled look on her face only getting deeper. “They now have vendettas against the both of us. And not just you, against your whole family. Tom, you need to make John and Arthur understand that a war is coming. None of you are any good alone, you need to be together.” She insisted.

He trusted her judgment but there were some things that just couldn’t be forced. “I don’t think a war would change their minds.” He mumbled.

“Well, tell Ada to tell them this. If you’re all spread out, you’re going to be picked off one by one. As a unit, we’ll stand a chance, alone? We won’t last more than a few days.”

“Alright.” He finally ceded. No matter how splintered the family was, he didn’t want anyone to die. “I’ll call Ada tomorrow morning.” He promised. “Frank said he would keep an eye on the Italians’ movements. That way we’ll at least have eyes on them.”

“Okay, good.” Kate stood up and wandered over to him. It was clear there was still a lot on her mind.

“Do you want to have dinner sent up to the room instead of going downstairs?”

“Oh…” She looked down at the evening gown she forgot she was still wearing. “No, we can still go. I don’t mind. I’d like to take my mind off of things.” She had to remind herself that there was an entire ocean between them and the Changrettas. But the threat was still there and she knew it would always be there in the back of her mind until it was time for battle.


End file.
